


The Hamilburr Trashbin

by bikai



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: But it's there, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hamburr, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, My First Work, Overdosing, Tags contain spoilers btw, a little bit, basically just fluff, but read this first, dedicated to my friend, eventual angst, gay bois, go read her fic it's called Shadow of Light, hamilburr, just a warning, she shouted out to me so now I have to shout out to her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 45,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9370514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bikai/pseuds/bikai
Summary: Basically just a crap ton of Hamilburr oneshots that come together to make a kind of plot??First work yippee!!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote these oneshots progressively over some number of months so hopefully you'll be able to see me improve my writing over the chapters :v

It was three o' clock in the morning. Alexander Hamilton had just gotten back to his apartment after a long ass debate party. He didn't need to be told his boyfriend was going to be pissed; he already knew that. Alex had promised Aaron Burr that he'd be home from the debate party by midnight at the latest. But things had gotten a little too out of hand. Someone at the party had spiked the fruit punch, Alex had gotten into a fist fight with someone; it was a blur, really. That's how Alex had ended up with a black eye. He took the apartment key from his hoodie pocket and as quietly as he could, unlocked the door. The lights were off, and Alex could only pray that Aaron was already asleep. He closed the door behind him silently, trying to make as little noise as possible. He made his way to the bathroom in the darkness, trailing a hand along the wall to find his way through the cramped dorm. Once in the bathroom, he closed the door softly and turned the light on. 

His reflection stared back at him through the mirror. Auburn colored hair that hung loosely in a ponytail, peach fuzz that he'd somehow managed to form into a scruffy goatee, dark eyes that were shadowed by darker bags; and on top of it all, a bleeding cut above his left eyebrow, and a swollen, bruised right eye. Yep, that was Alexander Hamilton alright. The actual human disaster. Alex was about to grab a hand towel from the closet when there was a knock at the door.

"Alexander?" Aaron's voice called through the door. Alex cursed quietly, yanking his hood over his head to hide the black eye. How the hell had he thought he was going to get away with this? he knew damn well that Aaron was a light sleeper. 

"Y-yeah, I'm in here." He called back, looking around the bathroom in a blind panic for something to help him. The door opened, and Aaron stepped in. Alex turned towards him, hiding his shiner in the shadow of the hood. 

"Hey, Burr."

"It's three am."

"Yeah, I know. Things, uh, got a little crazy at the party."

"It was a debate party."

Alex nodded, and let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, I-I know right?" Aaron looked at him skeptically and quirked an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong?" Aaron took a step towards him, and Alex took a step back without thinking. Shit, if he wasn't on to him before he was definitely on to him now. 

"No, no, everything's fine. I'm just tired, that's all." Alex went to exit the bathroom but Aaron grabbed his arm and tugged Alex towards him. He put a hand gently on his face and turned him gingerly. His eyes widened once he saw the black eye, and Alex's eyes flicked down to the floor.

"Alexander, what happened?"

"It's nothing, really. I've had worse." Alex waved his hand dismissively. Aaron scowled at him.

"Who did this?"

"...Jefferson."

"Why am I not surprised." Aaron sighed, rolling his eyes. He grabbed a washrag from the closet and turned on the faucet. 

"You should've heard the shit he was saying this time, Burr. It was ridiculous."

"I bet." Burr responded, placing the wet rag gently onto Alex's eye. Alex winced slightly, but then relaxed under his boyfriend's careful gaze.

"I really wish you wouldn't do these types of things." Aaron said after a beat of tense silence. "You worry me."

"I know babe, I'm sorry." Alex sighed with guilt. Aaron took the rag and wiped at the bloody cut above his eyebrow. 

"I'm not going to ask you not to do this again, because I know that's impossible for you. But I am going to ask that you just be careful." Aaron rubbed his thumb gently against Alex's face, and Alex leaned into the touch lovingly.

"I'll be careful." He smiled, turning his head slightly to kiss the palm of Aaron's hand. Aaron smiled back, and began to wash the blood from the rag in the sink.

"I'm just lucky that my amazing boyfriend is so handsome and smart and forgiving." Alex smirked hopefully when Aaron looked back at him and smiled uncontrollably. 

"Yes, you are very lucky."

Aaron set the rag on the counter to dry and pulled Alex towards him. Alex wasted no time in kissing him, draping his arms over Aaron's shoulder as Aaron wrapped his arms around Alex's waist. Alex pulled away sighed happily, resting his forehead on Aaron's.

"I think I deserve something nice, considering I had to deal with Thomas Jefferson today." He smirked playfully. Aaron narrowed his eyes, as if deep in thought, then planted a kiss on Alex's nose, letting his hands trail down until they were resting directly on Alex's hips. He grinned at the way Alex almost purred when he let his thumbs start to massage the skin above his hipbones.

"I think that decision’s up to your loving boyfriend. You did come home three hours late and with a black eye."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alex goddammit go to bed with your boyfriend for once in your life wth man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter woop woop

Aaron Burr rolled over in his bed for the fifth time that night. Out of pure instinct, he reached an arm out to the space next to him in an effort to pull his boyfriend towards him. His brow furrowed in confusion when all he felt were empty sheets. Aaron opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to rid the sleep from them. Sitting up, he patted the space beside him, where the covers were thrown back and the bed was devoid of any warmth. Aaron muttered a few swears under his breath before throwing the covers off of himself and swinging his legs over the side of his bed. Getting up, he opened the bedroom door out into the hallway, and after a glance at the clock on the wall, he concluded that it was roughly 3:20 in the morning. Aaron’s eyes immediately went to the only doorway with light coming from it; Alexander’s office. _Great_. Aaron stepped around the door frame, and squinted his eyes against the sudden change in lighting. Alexander Hamilton was sitting at his laptop, fingers flying over the keyboard, with his hair pulled sloppily back in a bun. 

“Alexander?” Aaron's voice was a sudden awakening to Hamilton, as he jumped slightly and stopped typing. He turned in his chair, and smiled once he saw Aaron standing in the doorway.

“Burr! Why are you up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Aaron frowned, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he walked towards his boyfriend. “You do know it's past three am, don't you?”

“Burr, please.” Hamilton started, giving Aaron a look as if he was a child that had just asked a ridiculous question. “Even I know not to stay up that late on a college night. It's only mid-” Hamilton turned back to check the clock on his computer screen, and his face fell once he realized that Aaron was right. He turned back to Aaron with a guilty expression, and Aaron raised an eyebrow.

“You were saying?”

“Alright, you caught me.” Hamilton laughed halfheartedly and ran a hand through his hair, loosening the bun and allowing a few stray hairs to fall out and frame his face. “But I really need to finish this article. I'll be in bed in five minutes.”

“I've heard that one before.” Aaron snorted in response, crossing his arms over his chest. “Alexander, when you say ‘five minutes’ you really mean ‘three hours’. Come back to sleep.”

“Burr, I really have to finish this. I'll be back before you even know I'm gone. Now get some rest.” Hamilton turned back around, and began to type again. Aaron sighed, not wanting to leave but knowing full well there was nothing he could do to get Hamilton out of that office. So instead, he reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair behind Alexander's ear before leaning down and kissing his cheek. 

“Alright, don't stay up too long.” Aaron smiled, and Hamilton met his gaze and nodded. With that, Aaron left the office and walked back to their bedroom. He laid back down on the bed and pulled the covers over himself, hoping it wouldn't be too long before Hamilton came to join him.

Fifteen minutes passed, and Aaron was on the verge of sleep when he felt the mattress shift underneath him, and a pair of arms wrap around his midsection. 

“Goodnight, Burr.” Hamilton's voice was right in Aaron’s ear, and he felt a kiss being planted on the nape of his neck. Aaron smiled, and moved his hands so he was holding those planted around his waist.

“Hmm, so you decided to join me?”

“Yeah,” Hamilton responded, and Aaron could hear the smile in his voice. “I decided that I’d just get up an hour earlier to finish those last five paragraphs.” 

“Is that the only reason?” Burr turned slightly so he could see Hamilton clearly. Hamilton shrugged a little bit and looked away sheepishly.

“And, you know...I might've missed you.”

“That's what I thought.” Aaron turned so that he was facing Hamilton, placed a hand on Hamilton's cheek, and pushed their mouths together. He felt him smile against his lips, and Hamilton scooted as close to Aaron as possible and readjusted his grip on his waist; trying to eliminate any space between the two of them. Aaron pulled away and smiled sleepily, removing his hand from Hamilton's cheek and using it to undo the bun in his hair, where he didn't move it from that spot. Hamilton let his head fall into the crook of Aaron’s neck, already starting to fall asleep under the warmth of the blankets and his boyfriend's body. 

“Promise to sleep in with me tomorrow morning?” Aaron whispered, knowing he could get Hamilton to do anything when he was half asleep like this.

“Mhm, alright.” Hamilton nodded against Aaron’s neck, his voice already heavy with drowsiness. Aaron chuckled softly.

“You promise?” He shook Hamilton gently to keep him from falling asleep. Hamilton nodded again and placed a finger to Aaron's lips.

“Yes, I promise, now shh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments make me happy


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is loosely based off of Meet Me Inside  
> Also I don't really have a schedule for this  
> I'm trying to upload everyday but it's finals week so :V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one gets kinda steamy, but I get squeamish writing smut so there's none of that  
> This one also has a maybe offensive homosexual slur so if that offends you I'm super sorry and also please tell me   
> This is my first time writing fanfiction and publishing it so please give me feedback cause I have no experience :')

Aaron was sitting on the couch, reading a historical fiction novel, when Alexander Hamilton opened the door loudly and slammed it shut. Aaron didn't bother looking up, already used to his boyfriend coming home in an angry frenzy. Hamilton threw his keys onto the counter, eyes ablaze and nostrils flaring. Flopping down onto the couch, he grabbed his laptop from the coffee table, opened it up and automatically started typing furiously. Aaron glanced up from the page he was reading and raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you upset?”

“I'm not.” Hamilton grumbled through gritted teeth. 

“Yeah, okay, then why are you typing on your rant page?” Aaron responded smartly. Hamilton breathed deep through his nose, glaring at Aaron for a second before turning back to the screen. Aaron set his book on the coffee table, sat up, and folded his arms over his chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked gently after a beat of silence.

“No.” 

“What happened?” Aaron sighed, his patience wearing thin.

“Nothing happened, Burr.”

Aaron breathed deeply through his nose before responding. “Alexander, I can't help you if you refuse to talk to me like a ridiculous five year old. Now, speak.”

Hamilton sighed, running his hands through his hair before turning to Aaron with a softer look in his eyes. “Professor Washington told me to take a break for a few days.” Hamilton averted his gaze from Aaron’s with an embarrassed look on his face.

“And?” Aaron asked, confused. Hamilton looked up at him, shocked, and Aaron continued. 

“Alexander, you work too much and too hard. You need a break. This will be good for you.”

“Burr, I have to keep working! Tomorrow’s never a guarantee for me, so I need to write as much as I can! I have to leave _something_ behind! If I stop working I-I'll lose my mind!” Aaron rolled his eyes in response as Hamilton began typing again, this time with much more agitation. He watched him for a couple seconds before speaking up again.

“Why did Washington ask you to take a break in the first place?”

At this, Hamilton froze, his fingers hovering above the keyboard as he bit his lip and looked away. Aaron stared at him awaiting an answer, confused and slightly concerned.

“Alexander?”

“I broke Lee’s nose today.” Hamilton said so quietly Aaron had to strain to hear him. Aaron’s eyes widened in realization.

“Why on earth would you do that!” Aaron exclaimed, taking the laptop from Hamilton and setting it to the side so he could scoot closer to him. Hamilton didn't respond, only crossed his arms over his chest and looked away from his boyfriend. Aaron put a hand on Hamilton’s bicep, pulling the immigrant towards him.

“Alexander please, just-”

“He was talking shit about you, Burr.” Hamilton cut him off, looking him directly in the eye. Aaron was about to respond, maybe to say that that was no reason to _break someone's nose_ when Hamilton continued to speak.

“Saying how the only reason you are where you are now is because you're the prodigy of Princeton. How you're not as great as everyone says you are, how you aren't worthy of holding that title.” He continued, anger rising with every word coming from his mouth. “He said you were nothing but a regular faggot college student who thought he was better than everyone else. But he has no idea, Burr. _No fucking idea_ of how great you really are. Of how amazing and talented and smart and beautiful and-”

Aaron grabbed his face and slammed his mouth against Hamilton’s before he could finish the sentence. He moved himself so that he was sitting on Hamilton's lap, straddling his hips. The kiss was heated, fast paced and sloppy, nothing but tongue and hot breath. When Aaron finally pulled away, he rested his forehead on Hamilton’s, his eyes still closed and his breathing coming in short, heavy bursts.

“I love you, Alexander.” Aaron whispered as he finally opened his eyes. Hamilton stared at him for a moment, shock and adoration mingling in his eyes. 

“I love you too, Aaron.” He said finally, wrapping his arms around Aaron's waist. “I wanted to snap his neck but I knew you'd be mad if I did that, so I broke his nose instead.” He smirked up at Aaron, who chuckled softly.

“Well, I think you definitely taught him a lesson.” He smiled, brushing their noses together. After a moment of blissful silence, Aaron spoke up again. “Since Washington told you to take a break for a few days, that means you and I can do anything we want.” Aaron smiled playfully when Hamilton blushed.

“That sounds pretty nice.” Hamilton whispered before tilting his head up and kissing Aaron again. Aaron's hands moved from Hamilton's face to the back of his head, where he removed the ponytail and tangled his hands into Hamilton’s hair. The kiss quickly became more heated, Hamilton's hands were moving lower onto Aaron’s back, and Aaron bit down on Hamilton’s lower lip. He moaned quietly into Aaron’s mouth, feeling like his skin was on fire. Even after six months of being together, kisses like this would still take his breath away. Aaron tugged slightly on Hamilton's hair, and began placing open-mouthed kisses along his neck. Hamilton laughed slightly, kissing the side of Aaron’s face, and pulling him even closer on his lap. 

“We should really take this somewhere else, you know. Not that I'm complaining or anything.”

Alexander Hamilton should really take a break more often.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one basically just gives more backstory into Aaron and Alex's relationship   
> Omg this is just pure fluff  
> Alex is afraid of thunderstorms y'all

It was raining. In fact, it wasn't just raining, it was storming. The rain was coming down in buckets against Alexander Hamilton's apartment complex and lightning would occasionally light up the night sky with its harsh flash. Alexander had fallen asleep at his desk, his mind filled with images from his youth in the Caribbean, of the hurricane that had destroyed his town when he was seventeen. Alexander refused to admit it, but that hurricane made him afraid of storms till this very day. Embarrassingly afraid. Not really of the storm itself, but the fact that storms always reminded him of what he had to lose. Back then, he had nothing to lose, he should have died in that hurricane. Now he had a name for himself, the majority of his campus knew who he was. He had his friends now, which were like family to him. Most importantly, he had his best friend and his boyfriend, Aaron Burr. 

If Alexander were being honest, he didn't know what he'd do without Aaron. Alexander never thought he'd be good in a relationship, he never liked being held back. But being with Aaron was different. Aaron didn't hold Alexander back like he thought he would, he only kept him from doing dumb shit. When Alexander first met Aaron, he expected them to get along perfectly and he could already see an amazing relationship forming. Not only was Aaron extremely handsome, but he was already the prodigy of Princeton College! But when he got to know him, he found himself annoyed and infatuated by the man. Aaron was the exact opposite of himself, he never took a stand on anything he believed in, and when he wanted something to happen, he wouldn't do anything to make it happen, he'd wait for it. Aaron was all give, and Hamilton was all take. Overtime, Hamilton realized that what he wanted with Aaron wasn't something he wanted with most people he liked. He hated to admit it, but most relationships that Hamilton was used to were one night stands and hook ups. He was fast paced, and he never stopped for anyone. But when he met Aaron, he wanted something more than just a one night stand or a relationship full of sex. He wanted to _be_ with Aaron, to have a real relationship with him. He wanted late night cuddles and good morning kisses, he wanted hugs that seemed to last forever and hand holding in public. And that's exactly what had happened. Hamilton was now the happiest he had ever been. And storms made him very aware of that happiness and always threatened to take it away from him. 

A sudden clap of thunder jolted Hamilton from his sleep and sent him tumbling from his seat and onto the floor. His heart was practically beating right out of his chest, and his eyes were wide with panic. Scrambling up from his place on the floor among his fallen papers, he made his way through the dark as quickly as possible. 

“Aaron?” Hamilton called, throwing open the door to their shared bedroom. “Aaron!” His voice broke in the middle of his boyfriend's name as he rushed over to the side of the bed. Hamilton grabbed Aaron's shoulder and shook him, fearing the worst. Aaron made a noise of confusion, before rolling over and opening his eyes sleepily. 

“Alexander? What are-”

“Oh, thank god, thank god!” Hamilton threw himself on top of Aaron and wrapped his arms around him. Aaron only hesitated a second before reciprocating, pulling Hamilton onto the bed with him. It took a couple seconds for Aaron to wake up, and once he realized what was happening, he understood fully. He wrapped his arms around Hamilton's body and pulled him in tightly.

“Shh, it's alright. I'm not going anywhere.” Aaron whispered, kissing the side of Hamilton's face softly. Hamilton relaxed his grip on Aaron, leaning back slightly and looking away sheepishly.

“S-sorry, I...I kinda had a...bad dream, I'm-I'm sorry.” A loud clap of thunder caused Hamilton to flinch and re-tighten his grip around Aaron and whimper into the crook of his neck. Aaron then began running one of his hands through Hamilton's hair, and used the other one to rub comforting circles into his back. 

“It's fine, you're fine. I'm here with you, and I'm not leaving anytime soon. I promise.” Aaron began placing little kisses along the side of Hamilton's face and neck. After a few moments of listening to the rain and thunder, Hamilton spoke up, his voice unusually calm.

“You're too good for me.” He whispered with guilt.

“Alexander-”

“No, Aaron.” Hamilton leaned back and looked at him, his face serious. “I'm serious. I don't deserve someone like you, you deserve better. I don't know why you ever agreed to go out with me.” 

Aaron was silent for a couple seconds before he breathed in deep and spoke up. 

“You wanna know why I agreed to go out with you?” He asked, and there was a pause before Hamilton nodded against his neck. 

“When I first met you, Alexander Hamilton, I didn't know what to think of you. You were arrogant, ignorant, loud mouthed, and _very_ opinionated. And, you still are, honestly. But overall, you were very...infatuating and… interesting. And very charming, I might add. You would never slow down, and you'd never shut up. Overtime, I realized, that I was pretty much in love with you. And that scared the hell out of me. All of our friends would always complain that we weren't together, and that we were ‘so gay it hurt’. And then, one day, we got into an argument; I don't even remember what it was about at this point, but I said something that made you look at me and honest to god, I thought you were going to punch me. But instead, you _kissed me_."  
“And you kissed me back.” Hamilton said after a long pause, and Aaron could hear the smile in his voice. Aaron nodded and continued.

“I did. And in the end, I'm super glad we got into that argument. Because now, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Because I have the most amazing boyfriend in the entire world, and so what if I deserve better? I'm not saying I do, but if I did, I wouldn't want any better anyway. I _want_ you. I _love_ you. I love you and all the crazy dumb shit that you do. I love the way your eyes light up when you're passionate. I love the way you always sleep with your mouth open, I think it's really adorable. I love you at your worst, your best, and everything in between.”

They were silent for several seconds after that, arms wrapped around each other, as close as possible yet not close enough. Aaron reached down and pulled the covers over both of them when Hamilton started speaking.

“Hey Aaron?”

“What is it?”

“I'm gonna marry you one day.” Hamilton smiled into Aaron's skin before tilting his head to look up at him. Aaron smiled in return and ran his hand through Hamilton's hair, watching as it fell gently into his face. Hamilton scrunched up his nose playfully as Aaron tucked his hair behind his ear and planted kisses all over his face. His forehead, his eyelids, his nose, his cheekbones, everywhere he could reach. How on earth could he have gotten so lucky. 

“I can't wait.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too proud of this one but I still like it enough  
> Loosely based off a video I found on the internet

It was around midnight when Aaron Burr got the phone call. It was from the hospital. His boyfriend, Alexander Hamilton, had gotten into a fist fight at a party. Again. Except this time, it was bad enough to get him into the hospital. He was already in the car, when his phone started ringing again. The caller ID read John Laurens, one of Alexander's closest friends. Aaron had never been as fond of Alexander's friends as Alexander himself, but they'd never given Aaron any reason to hate them. Aaron answered the call and pressed speaker, then set the phone on the dashboard.

“John, what the hell happened?”

“Hey Burr, didn't the hospital tell you?"

“They only told me he got into a fist fight, which isn't that surprising, honestly.” Aaron rolled his eyes, and he heard John make a noise of agreement. 

“Well, it's true, but they didn't tell you exactly why he's in the hospital.” 

“Why?”

“...It was completely unfair Burr, everyone knows you don't bring weapons to a fist fight; it's common sense.”

Aaron felt his heart rate pick up as soon as John said _weapons_. “John, tell me what happened to my boyfriend.”

“...Some guy brought a knife to the fight. Alex got stabbed.”

Aaron almost slammed on the breaks right then in there, his heart seemingly stopped beating in his chest. He was silent for a long time, his breathing coming in short irregular bursts, his head spinning as he tried to focus on the road.

“Burr? You still there?”

“Y-yeah.” Aaron responded, unable to say anything else at the moment. After a beat of silence, Aaron swallowed and inhaled deeply. 

“He's going to be okay though, right? Tell me he's going to be okay John.” 

“The doctors said he'll be fine, Burr, I promise. They put him on some morphine, and now he's sleeping.”

Aaron sighed and allowed himself to relax a little bit. “Thank god.” He whispered quietly. “Alright, thanks John. I'm on my way, I'll be there as soon as possible.”

“M’kay Burr, I'll see you soon.” 

John hung up as Aaron pulled up to a stoplight. He sat back in his seat and closed his eyes, trying to decide if he should be worried or angry. He couldn't ever imagine his life without his boyfriend, but he thought Alexander knew better than to get himself into a fistfight. He was jolted from his thoughts when the car behind him honked, and he snapped his eyes open to see the light had turned green. _‘At least he'll be alright.’_ Aaron thought to himself as he stepped on the gas.

Once he got to the hospital, he parked his car and walked briskly inside up to the front desk. A young man was sitting behind the computer, and he looked up when Aaron approached.

“Good morning, how may I help you, sir?” He asked, reminding Aaron that it was almost 1:30 in the morning. 

“Yeah, I'm here to pick up my dumbass- I mean my boyfriend.” The man smiled and nodded.

“I know that feeling too. What's your boyfriend's name, sir?”

Aaron gave him alex's name and in return the receptionist gave him the room number he was in and where it was. Aaron thanked him and then walked off to find the room. When he found the room, he hesitated at the door, his hand stilling on the knob. He breathed deep before opening the door. Inside the room, Alexander was sleeping in the hospital bed and John was sitting in the chair on the other side of the room. John stood up when Aaron entered, offering a crooked smile.

“What's up Burr?” He greeted him, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Once Aaron was closer, he realizes John had a split lip and a small bandage on the left side of his forehead. 

“I take it you got into a fight too?” Aaron raised an eyebrow and John laughed weakly. 

“Well, yeah. Being Alex's friend I promised him that if we did anything stupid, we'd have to go down together.”

Aaron made a noise of agreement and went to stand next to the hospital bed. Aaron opened his mouth to speak when John’s phone began to ring and after a brief look at the screen he looked back up at Aaron.

“It's Peggy, I gotta take this.” He explained quickly before answering the phone. Aaron wasn't sure, but he thought he saw something like worry in John's eyes. Or maybe it was fear. Probably fear. Peggy was absolutely terrifying when she was angry. He turned his attention back to his own lover, and sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed. Alexander had a bandage across his right eyebrow and a few bruises across his face. Aaron hesitated a second before reaching forward and delicately pulling back the hospital bed sheet. Alexander had a hospital gown on, but Aaron can just see a small part of the bandage through a tear in the fabric. He didn’t even want to imagine the bruises on his chest or the stab wound itself. 

“Peggy, hon, of course I had to stick up for them! They're practically family!” John’s voice made Aaron look up, and when their eyes met, John shrugged. “Well, except Burr of course.” Aaron frowned when John smiled. He took the phone from his ear and whispered: “I say that with as much love as possible.”

John went back to the phone call with his girlfriend, and Aaron turned back to the bed, pulling the covers back up and gently tucking a strand of hair behind Alexander's ear. He sat back in his chair and put a hand over his eyes and breathed in through his nose, suddenly exhausted. 

“Hey, Burr?” 

Aaron looked up, and found John had ended his phone call and was standing by the door.

“Peggy's here to get me, so I'm gonna go. You alright?”

“Yeah John, I'm fine, you can go.”

John nodded and opened the door, but paused before he left. “Just remember, the doctors put him on morphine, so when he wakes up, he'll be pretty loopy.”

Aaron nodded and John left. Sighing, he let his head fall back onto the seat so he was looking up at the ceiling. Aaron allowed his mind to wander a bit, thinking back to when he and Alexander had first started dating. They had been roommates before, so they didn't need to switch apartments or anything, the two of them just started sleeping together in Aaron’s bed one night. He remembered how on the first night, Alexander had slept with his arms wrapped around Aaron; and Aaron had been genuinely surprised at his forwardness, but hey, he wasn't complaining. Once, the two of them had gone out to a party with Alexander’s friends and Alex had gotten so drunk that he stood up on a table and serenaded Aaron with a rendition of _Hooked On A Feeling_ by Blue Swede. Aaron had been so embarrassed but also so desperately in love with the guy. Before they were dating, Alexander practically _lived_ off of hot pockets and ramen noodles. Once they started, Aaron had made Alexander promise that he'd eat an actual meal at least once a week. 

“Did the doctors send you?” Alexander's voice snapped Aaron out of his reverie. He sat up and saw Alexander staring at him with a tired, almost confused expression.

“Oh, no. I've been here the whole time.” Aaron responded, smiling tiredly. Alexander didn't respond, and Aaron watched as his boyfriend's eyes roamed over his entire figure before flicking back up to meet his gaze.  
“You're _gorgeous_.” He stated simply. Aaron felt his cheeks heat up and he looked away awkwardly.

_‘What?’_

“No, seriously.” Alexander said quickly, noticing Aaron’s expression. “Are you a male model or something? ‘Cause you totally could be.”

Aaron laughed weakly, half out of confusion and half out of embarrassment. Did he even know who he was? 

“My name's Alexander,” Alexander reached forward and took Aaron’s hand in his, and Aaron watched with wide eyes as he raised it to his lips and kissed his knuckles gingerly. He looked at Aaron and smirked charmingly, throwing him a wink as well. “What's yours, love?"

“Aaron.” Aaron had to mentally remind himself to breathe, not knowing how his own boyfriend, who he'd been with for roughly a year; could be doing this to him. He was about to tell Alexander that they're dating, but he lost his breath when Alexander flipped Aaron's hand over and began tracing circles into the skin of his palm. Was he this charming before they were dating?

“Well, Aaron, I simply have to ask; are you single?” 

Aaron chuckled softly, allowing himself to relax and go along with Alexander’s monologue. This had to be the morphine talking.

“Sadly, no, I came here to get my boyfriend.” 

Aaron didn't miss the way Alexander's expression fell slightly, before he grinned again. “Let's talk about how to get you _out_ of that relationship.” Aaron couldn't help laughing at that, and Alexander’s eyes lit up in return. 

“I mean, I might not go down in history, but I'll definitely go down on _you_.” Aaron felt like his skin was on fire, and he looked away, shaking his head. Alexander was still rubbing his palm, occasionally glancing up to look at Aaron. “Tell me about this boyfriend of yours.” He said, catching Aaron's attention. “How'd he end up in the hospital?”

“Well,” Aaron started, leaning forward and placing his elbow on the edge of the bed. “According to one of his friends, he got into a fist fight at a party, and wound up getting stabbed.”

“Hmm,” was Alexander's response, leaning down so their faces were close. “Sounds like trouble, if you ask me.”

“Oh, he is.” 

“What's his name?”

Aaron hesitated a second before smiling and kissing Alexander’s cheek.

“Alexander Hamilton.”

Alexander did nothing but stare at Aaron, his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted. 

“But that's my name?”

“I know.” Aaron chuckled, grabbing Alexander's hand and entwining their fingers. “I'm your boyfriend, Aaron Burr.”

“We’re dating?” Alexander practically yelled, blinking rapidly. Aaron just nodded, smiling like a little kid. 

“Oh my god! How long?”

“About a year, now.”

“Holy shit! How'd I get so lucky?” Alexander laughed, running his free hand through his hair. “Have we kissed yet? Can I kiss you?” He asked, looking back at Aaron with a nervous look on his face. 

“Yeah, go ahead.” Aaron smiled even wider, as Alexander wasted no time in leaning down and wrapping his arms and Aaron’s neck and kissing him. Aaron felt an unusual warmth deep inside him and he ran his hands through Alexander’s hair. Alexander made as if to get closer, but ended up pulling back and wincing in pain, his hand going to clutch at his stomach. 

“Don't hurt yourself!” Aaron pulled away, now worried as he helped him lay back down. Alexander smiled dopely at him and giggled.

“Oh yeah, Aaron!” He laughed, his memory seemingly coming back to him. He then frowned and looked down, like a child who had gotten caught stealing. 

“I got stabbed.”

“I know.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I know you are.” Aaron sighed, reaching out and taking Alexander's hand in his. “It's alright though, we can talk about it when you sober up.”

“Sober up?” Alexander cocked his head to the side. “I'm not drunk, am I? I don't think I am.” Aaron smiled and shook his head.

“No, but the doctors put you on morphine to-”  
“Morphine! But that's what they gave private Ryan before he _died!_ ” Alexander's jaw dropped, and his eyes went wide. “Am I going to die, Aaron? Quick! I need a pen and paper, I have last words!” 

“Alexander, please-” Aaron tried to stop him, but Alexander had already grabbed a napkin from the bedside table, and turned back to him. 

“Do you have a pen?”

Aaron was about to protest, but he figured it'd be useless, so he pulled a pen from his pocket and handed it to Alexander with a roll of his eyes. Alexander then turned back to the bedside table and began writing. Aaron watched tiredly as his boyfriend scrawled quickly across the unfolded napkin. This was just like him, unable to be still even when he was convinced he was going to die. Aaron had always tried to understand why Alexander never stopped writing. Alexander had told him before that he wrote because he needed to leave behind a legacy, that his life could be taken away at any moment, but Aaron still never understood that. If he thought he was going to die, why spend his time writing and not with his friends and family? He'd told Alexander that it was okay to be afraid of death, and that the fear of death was what kept you alive, but Alexander said he wasn't afraid of death. He was simply aware. So instead of trying to understand, Aaron settled with being supportive. He didn't think he'd ever understand his boyfriend, and that was alright. The least he could do was be satisfied. 

But he knew Alexander would _never_ be satisfied.

Aaron smiled sadly to himself as he watched Alexander write, his hair falling delicately into his face. When he was done writing, he set the pen down gently and sat back up, the napkin held in his hands. He looked up at Aaron and smiled, handing the napkin to him.

“For me?” 

“Yeah. My last words are pretty much for you exclusively.” He said with a smile, and he looked almost sad. He didn't actually think he was going to die, did he? “There's some on the back too.” Aaron smiled back at him before unfolding the napkin and beginning to read.

_My Dearest, Aaron_

_The last year that I've spent with you is by far the happiest year of my life. I never thought I'd have a relationship like ours before, but there's nobody I’d rather have by my side. I know I'm a pain in the ass, and I'm beyond grateful that you haven't left me yet. God knows why you haven't, but I'm glad for whatever reason is keeping you with me. When I was younger, I always dreamed of coming to the mainland and making a name for myself. Before I came to New York, I was nothing but a scrawny orphan in the Caribbean. I've always had a lot to look forward to before I came to America, but you're by far the best part of being here. I couldn't ever imagine my life without you, you keep me grounded. Every time I wake up next to you, I'm reminded of how lucky I am. I simply needed you to know how much you mean to me before I go.  
I love you._

_Sincerely yours,  
A.Ham _

Aaron didn’t even notice the tear that fell on to the napkin until he felt Alexander’s hand on his cheek and looked up. Alexander was smiling at him, as he used his thumb to wipe at the single tear rolling down Aaron’s face. Aaron let out a watery laugh and leaned into Alexander's touch, kissing his palm gently. 

“Hey,” Alexander’s voice caught Aaron's attention, and he looked up at him through blurry vision.

“Smile more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex you fool you're not going to die  
> Link to the video this was loosely based off of: https://youtu.be/IqebEymqFS8


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to upload this earlier but apparently it wouldn't upload   
> Wrote this around the holidays

“Burr, wake up.” 

Aaron felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him gently, and he grunted in reply and turned his face deeper into his pillow.

“Babe, c’mon, wake up.”

Aaron opened his eyes slowly, and saw Alexander sitting on the side of their bed with a shit eating grin on his face. 

“G’morning sleeping beauty.”

“You better have a damn good reason for waking me up at the ass crack of dawn.” Aaron replied after checking the clock and seeing that it was 7:15 in the morning. 

“Just wanted to say goodbye.” Alexander said, his smile never fading.

“Goodbye? What do you mean goodbye?”

“I have a debate meeting with Washington and Jefferson at eight.”

“For the love of Christ, Hamilton.” Aaron rubbed at his temple with one hand, closing his eyes in frustration. “It’s Christmas, can't you ever take a break?”

“I'll be back around ten or 10:30, I promise.” Alexander leaned down and kissed Aaron’s forehead.

“You better be.” Aaron grumbled. “And if you come home with a black eye from Jefferson, you’ll be sleeping on the couch for a week.” 

“I make no promises.” Alexander chuckled. 

“Yeah, well I do, so watch yourself.” Aaron growled jokingly before poking Alexander in the ribs, earning a high pitched giggle from his boyfriend. Alexander swatted Aaron’s hand away, placed a chaste kiss to his lips and got up from the bed. Aaron stared at the ceiling until he heard the door close, then rolled over and fell back asleep.

It was around nine o'clock when Aaron woke up again. He sat up in his bed, rubbed at his eyes and looked out the window. It was snowing. Thousands of little white flakes were floating gently on the wind, drifting downward where they were collecting on the street and sidewalks. Aaron smiled to himself, he loved winters in New York. Last winter, before they were dating, Aaron remembered the first time Alexander saw snow.

_They were sitting in the coffee shop with Hercules and Lafayette. Hercules and Lafayette were having a separate conversation, Hamilton was typing away at his laptop as usual, and Aaron was sipping his coffee and aimlessly scrolling through social media._

_“Hey Burr?” Hamilton's voice caught his attention and he looked up at the man next to him. “What's your favorite color?”_

_Aaron raised an eyebrow at him questioningly and Hamilton just shook his head._

_“Just answer the question.”_

_“Blue.” He responded after a pause. Hamilton nodded slowly before turning back to his laptop. “Why?”_

_“Well, I just don't know that much about you, and I feel like since we live together we should probably know something about each other. I know basically nothing about you. Are you a Satan worshipper? A Brony? God forbid, a Trump supporter? Who knows!”_

_“Well, I can promise you I am none of those things.” Aaron said with a chuckle, and he didn't miss the way Hamilton's cheeks lit up when he laughed. They sat in silence for a couple seconds, until Aaron felt Hamilton grab his hand and his heart jumped in his chest. He looked up to question him but Hamilton was staring with wide eyes out the coffee shop window._

_“It's snowing.” He whispered, and Aaron followed his gaze out into the street. Sure enough, outside, the entire atmosphere was sprinkled with tiny white flakes; giving the scene a more serene feel, blending with the soft classical music from the coffee shop in the background. Hamilton jumped up from his seat and rushed outside, wearing only a tee shirt and jeans._

_“You're gonna freeze to death!” Aaron warned him, but he was already outside. “I'll get him.” Aaron told Hercules and Lafayette before sighing and grabbing Hamilton's jacket hanging off the back of his seat and following him outside. Hamilton was standing outside, looking up and around with wonder. Aaron smiled and shook his head._

_“You know it's just water, right?”_

_Hamilton turned back to him, his smile like that of a giddy child._

_“I've never seen it in person before! I mean, I saw it on tv and in pictures but never like this!” Hamilton throw his arms up and gestured around him wildly. “It's amazing.” He stated quietly and watched intently as a snowflake landed on his hand and immediately melted into his palm. Aaron tried to ignore the snow collecting in Hamilton's hair, and how it made his heart flutter. Hamilton shivered, and wrapped his arms around himself. “It's really cold though. It was never like this in the Caribbean.”_

_“Alright, you dork, come over here” Aaron laughed as Hamilton hurriedly obliged, rushing to him and letting Aaron put his coat on him. Aaron stepped closer to zip it up, and Hamilton grabbed Aaron's hands in his own, forcing their eyes to meet. They stood in silence for a couple seconds, before Hamilton piped up quietly._

_“I'm cold, Burr.”_

_Aaron took hold of Hamilton's hands and rubbed them gently, creating warmth and maintaining eye contact the entire time._

_“Better?” Aaron asked, never letting go of Hamilton's hands. Hamilton nodded and stepped closer, his eyes dropping to Aaron's mouth._

_“First snow of the season, will you look at that.” Hercules’ voice caused the both of them to turn towards the door of the coffee shop, where the two other men had joined them outside. Aaron pulled away and shoved his hands into his pockets, and watched as Hamilton looked up and smiled again._

_“Cool, right?”_

_“If you think this is cool, wait till you see what Ireland is like this time of year!” Hercules exclaimed, quickly getting swept up in the topic of his homeland. Lafayette came to stand next to Burr and handed him his coffee. They stood in silence for a minute or two, before Lafayette spoke up again._

_“You're looking at him like that again, mon amie.” Burr looked at him questioningly, and Lafayette smiled knowingly._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“You know what I mean, Burr. You're looking at Alex like that again. The way you look at him when you think no one's watching.”_

_Aaron stared at Lafayette for another second before looking away. After another couple seconds, he heard Lafayette sigh and curse in French._

_“Why don't you tell him mon amie?”_

_Aaron stayed silent, focusing on the snowflakes settling on his jacket sleeve._

_“I know you have a habit of waiting for things but don't you think this is a little excessive?”_

_“It's not about waiting for it. It's more than that, Laf."_

_He looked back at the Frenchmen, who was staring at him expectantly. Aaron sighed before responding._

_“I'm scared, alright?” Lafayette looked at him questioningly, so he continued. “Everyone that's ever loved me in my life is dead, Laf. I couldn't bear losing him.”_

_“Then tell him that! If you never take a chance on it Aaron, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what would've happened.”_

_Aaron was about to respond when Hamilton ran up to him, and wrapped his arms around Aaron's torso, nearly knocking him off his feet._

_“Burr! I'm freezing!”_

_Lafayette smiled at Aaron before going to stand next to Hercules, leaving the two of them alone with each other. Hamilton had laid his head on Aaron’s chest, his arms looped around his waist._

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Listening.”_

_“To what exactly?”_

_“Your heartbeat.”_

_Aaron felt his heart skip a beat at his last sentence, and he could only hope Hamilton didn't notice. He saw Hamilton smile widely._

_“It's gotten faster since I've been listening. I had no idea I had that kind of effect on you, Burr!”_

_“That's because you have a special talent of getting on my nerves that no one else has.” Aaron responded with a roll of his eyes. The statement was supposed to be a joke, but Hamilton looked up at him, with a heat in his eyes that made the cold atmosphere disappear. The heat only lasted a couple seconds before he grinned again and chuckled._

_“Your heartbeats getting faster again, Burr.”_

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Aaron stood and stretched. He had about an hour until his boyfriend got home, so he decided to take a quick shower. When he got out of the shower, he was in a surprisingly festive mood, so he got dressed and put Pandora on on his phone, and almost immediately, Christmas music began to play. Aaron put on his apron, looked up a recipe for sugar cookies, and started mixing the ingredients together. He was already putting the cookies in the oven when he heard the door open.

“Honey, I'm home!” 

“Oh my god.” Aaron turned just as Alexander snapped a photo of him wearing an apron, a large grin plastered on his face. “Oh yeah, that's definitely my new wallpaper. That's adorable.” Alexander looked around before looking back at Aaron, still grinning. 

“What's with the Christmas music? And are you making cookies?” He asked, and Aaron shrugged.

“I don't know, I was feeling festive. How was the meeting?” 

“Ugh, Jefferson was there so, you know.” Alexander responded before rolling his eyes dramatically. He set his stuff down on the counter and went up behind Aaron, looping his arms around his waist. “Did you miss me?”

Aaron shrugged dismissively, earning a frown from Alexander. When Alexander continued to frown, Aaron laughed and turned to pull him into his arms.

“I'm kidding. You know I miss you whenever you're not with me.”

“Mm, yeah.” Alexander shrugged. “But it's nice to hear it every once in awhile.”

The two of them stood like that for awhile, leaning against the counter, one of Aaron's hands combing absentmindedly through Alexander's hair.

“Do you think about your parents at all during Christmas?” Alexander asked suddenly, causing Aaron's hand to falter. He hesitated a couple moments before nodding.

“Yeah, I think about them all throughout the year, but more so at Christmas.”

“Me too.” Alexander sighed, shifting so he could look up at Aaron. 

“You know, when you forced me to celebrate Christmas with you last year, that was the first time I'd actually celebrated since my parents died.” 

“Really?” Hamilton asked, genuinely surprised.

“Yeah.” Aaron nodded again, and smiled fondly. “I've always loved winter, but ever since my parents died I hadn't engaged in Christmas at all, really.” Aaron's smile faltered slightly. “Makes me think about them too much.”

“Why do you like winter so much?” Hamilton spoke up after a couple beats of silence. He didn't want to make Aaron upset, so he switched to another topic. Aaron pulled back to look at him, and smiled. 

“Come here.” He said quietly before pulling Hamilton to the window in their sitting room, where he wrapped his arms around Alexander from behind. “Look.”

The snow was still falling outside, but now there were people in the streets, engaged in snowball fights and a few were laughing and singing Christmas carols. Two girls had just plugged in a long extension cord, and Alexander watched as the row of leafless, snow covered trees lit up with Christmas lights, amid many cheers and applause. The way the colorful Christmas lights reflected off the newly fallen snow, that and the laughter and singing from the people on the street mixed with the Christmas music playing from Aaron's phone made Alexander feel warm inside, and he looked back at Aaron briefly.

“Wow.”

“Right?” Aaron agreed, smiling and resting his chin on Alexander's head. “Winters are always so happy, that's why I like them. And now, I get to spend them with my favorite person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette is totally the match manner of the group lmao  
> Next few chapters might be a little late sorry my dudes but my teachers are shoving schoolwork down my throats and finals are not over yet :')


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex is a kicked puppy and Aaron is just trying his best to be a good boyfriend  
> And for those of you following the comment section please ignore the rude comments left by my friend, cydisyaoitrash, she's just being a major ass  
> (don't report her, its just the way we talk to each other really it's fine)

It was almost four am. _Four in the fucking am_ , and Alexander Hamilton hadn't even bothered to _text_ Aaron and tell him where he was. He'd gone out with his friends at around eleven to celebrate John acing his veterinary final, and he'd gotten a drunken text from Alex at around two, but that was it. Alex had promised to be home by three at the latest and Aaron had called him five times now. Not a single text. Aaron couldn't decide whether to be angry or concerned. Maybe Alex had gotten into a fight at the bar and wound up in the hospital again? No, they would have called him by now. Maybe he passed out at the bar and needed to be picked up? No, he had his friends there with him, one of them would have called Aaron or dropped him off. Then what the hell was going on? 

Aaron stood by the window, watching as the rain poured down onto the street below. He was too worried to sleep, so he took to aimlessly wandering the apartment. Grabbing the phone off his bedside table, he dialed Alex’s number again, and waited anxiously as it rung softly. He sighed in exhaustion when all he got was Alex’s voicemail, hanging up and throwing his phone onto the bed. He was just about to give up and flop down on his bed when he heard the unmistakeable sound of the door opening. He didn't need to see to know it was Alexander before rushing out of his room to meet him. 

“Alexander? Where the hell have you been? Do you know how many times I've called you! You couldn't have at least texted back? Do you know how worried I was? Do you know what time-”

He stopped in his tracks as his anger quickly melted away to concern when he saw the state his boyfriend. Alexander was sopping wet and shivering noticeably from the cold. His drenched hoodie hung loosely off his thin, freezing frame, and there was a bleeding cut along his left cheek. He was staring up at Aaron pitifully with wide, desperate eyes. He looked like a kicked puppy.

“Oh my god.” Aaron whispered, and Alex only whimpered miserably in response. “Baby, what happened to you?” Aaron stepped closer to take Alex into his arms, and the smaller man rushed to meet him, burying his face in Aaron's chest. 

_Holy shit he was cold as ice._

As Alexander told his miserable tale to Aaron, he could feel himself getting more guilty with each pitiful word. Apparently, Alex had gotten into a drunken fist fight with another guy at the bar, hence the bleeding cut, which was typical Alex. After that he decided he would head home, but seeing that he was still a little drunk and pissed off, he thought it'd be better to take the bus back to their apartment. Because of the buzz from the alcohol, and the missing adrenaline in his system, Alex had passed out on the bus. When he woke up he had missed his stop so he started walking home. About half the way home it started pouring rain, and Alex's phone had died so he couldn't call Aaron to come get him, leaving him cold, soaked to the bone, and helplessly afraid. Aaron pulled back to look down at him, and realized with horror that Alex looked terribly pale and his lips were blue. He was shaking from the cold. 

Afraid that if he let Alexander go for even a second he'd fall down, Aaron instead bent down to hook an arm just under his knees and looped the other one around his waist. He hoisted Alex up bridal style, and the smaller man instantly wrapped his arms around Aaron's neck. 

“Do you think you can stand?” Aaron asked gently once they had reached their bathroom. Alex hesitated a second before nodding, and Aaron set him gently down. He grabbed a towel from the closet and turned on the shower. He then turned back to Alex and helped him pull the soaked hoodie off his shivering body. His t-shirt was completely soaked through, which didn't help the cold much at all. 

“I got your shirt wet.” Alex whispered, his voice hoarse and tired, as he reached out to touch the wet spots on Aaron's pajama shirt.

“That's alright.” Aaron responded as he undid the button and zipper on Alex's pants. 

“ ‘M sorry.” Alex whimpered, and Aaron smiled pitifully at him before placing a chaste kiss to his forehead.

“Don't be. You're fine.”

After that, Alexander got into the shower, which Aaron made sure was at a hot temperature. He took the wet clothes and placed them in a basket next to the washing machine before turning the dryer on to warm up the clothes inside. He pulled Alex’s pair of sweats from the dryer along with Aaron's own Princeton sweatshirt and a new pajama shirt to replace his now wet one. After considering making coffee for his boyfriend, he figured tea was the best option and put the kettle on. By that time the shower had turned off and he grabbed the fresh clothes from the top of the dryer for Alex. Alex was wrapped in the towel, and thankfully his color was starting to return, but he still looked tired and disheveled. Aaron handed him the dry clothes and he smiled gratefully in return. 

“Hey Aaron?” Alex called as Aaron went to go back into the kitchen. 

“Hm?”

“...I love you.” Alex said softly, almost nervously. Aaron smiled lovingly and walked back to him. He took his face between his hands and kissed him. “And I love you.” He whispered back after pulling away. “Now put these on and get in bed for me, okay?” Alexander nodded. Aaron went back into the kitchen to pour the tea into a mug, before walking back into their bedroom to find Alex sitting in the bed with his legs crossed, practically drowning in the oversized sweater. Aaron handed him his tea before crawling in bed beside him.

“So you're not mad?” Alex asked after a long sip of tea. Aaron shook his head.

“I was never mad, Alexander. I was just worried, you poor thing.”

“I was fine.” Alex smiled with a roll of his eyes. Aaron raised an eyebrow.

“Alexander you came home looking like a kicked puppy, I thought you were going to pass out. Do you feel better now?” 

“Much, thank you.” 

Aaron sat there staring at Alexander as he drank his tea. The cut on his cheek wasn't bleeding anymore, but it was still red, and it was definitely going to leave a bruise for a few days. His color had returned now, and he no longer looked like he'd crawled out of the grave, but he still looked horribly tired. After he'd drank the last of his tea, he set the mug on the bedside table and turned back to Aaron. Aaron got the message and laid down on the bed, and Alex followed suit, resting his head on Aaron's chest.

“Aaron?” Alex piped up after a blessful moment of Aaron rubbing comforting circles into the small of his back.

“Hm?”

“You didn't have to do this you know.”

“...What do you mean by that, love?”

Alexander propped himself up on an elbow so he could look at him. “I mean I could have just came home, found you asleep, and laid down next to you and I would have been happy. You didn't have to stay awake for me. As long as I get to fall asleep next to you at the end of the day, I'll be okay.”

Aaron smiled at him and pulled him down to his chest again.

“I wanted to stay up for you, though. I like taking care of you. I'm not saying I like seeing you hurt and cold, but I like knowing that I can make you happy.” 

Alex was already starting to fall asleep, but he smiled lazily and wrapped an arm around Aaron's torso. 

“I'm always happy when I'm with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes my dudes John is totally studying to be a veterinarian  
> Look at my cuddly bois, I'm so proud


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hooooo boy this ones a long 'un  
> And omG YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET IN THE COMMENTS YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH AHH-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has an original character of mine in it don't hate me I'm human garbage ok  
> It also has mentions of blood so if that makes you squeamish I'm sooorry

Alexander hadn't gone to bed with Aaron in a week. Aaron was used to Alex staying up until two am, and being barely awake when he finally crawled into bed with him, but this was a whole ‘nother level. When Alex stayed up until three am, Aaron would go into his office, run his hands through his hair and gently kiss the side of his face until Alexander gave in with a sigh and allowed Aaron to carry him into bed. This was Aaron's way of convincing Alex to come to bed, and it often worked. But the last time Aaron had done it, Alex hadn't even flinched, but instead shooed Aaron away and continued to work. Aaron had stood there, dumbfounded, before leaving the office with a huff and going to bed alone. 

Yet every morning he would still wake up with Alex sleeping peacefully beside him, reassuring Aaron that he had gotten some sleep. Every morning he’d lay in bed with an arm draped over Alex's waist until the younger man woke up. Every morning Alex would smile up at him and smother his face with kisses before getting up to make coffee for the two of them. Things were normal, for the most part.

They were normal until things started to escalate, and Aaron grew increasingly worried every night. It started when Aaron woke up one morning to find that Alex wasn't sleeping beside him. In fact, the other side of the bed didn't even look slept in. Breathing deep, Aaron got up and stretched his arms above his head before heading into Alexander's office. The man was sitting at his desk, typing away with his hair pulled back sloppily from his face. Aaron walked over and slipped his arms around Alex's shoulders, resting his chin on his head.

“Mornin’” Aaron drawled, his voice heavy. He hadn't had his coffee yet, so he was still waking up.

“Morning, babe.” Alex greeted in return, his eyes never leaving the screen. 

“Did you get any sleep last night? Did you come to bed at all?” Aaron tilted his head to plant a soft kiss to Alex's forehead. Alex shook his head as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“Hey, baby, could you make me some coffee? I could use some right now.” Alex asked, looking back at Aaron as his fingers paused momentarily. Aaron was taken aback at how tired Alex looked, the bags under his eyes darker than usual.

“How many cups have you had in the last 24 hours?”

“I don't know, why? Does it matter?” Alex looked at him questioningly. 

“It does if you're drinking too much.” 

“Burr, I'm fine. Really, I just have some work I need to finish up, m’kay?” Alex turned and kissed Aaron sweetly, and Aaron smiled at him before going to make coffee for the both of them. 

That afternoon, Aaron went out to lunch with a friend of his. He had asked Alex if he wanted to come, but Alex refused, and Aaron could tell that he wasn't going to change his decision. So instead he met up with Katherine, one of his best friends, at a coffee shop only a ten minute walk from his dorm room. 

“So, you're telling me that Alex won't come to bed with you cause he'd rather work?”

“Seems like it, yeah.” Aaron confirmed Katherine's assumption as he took his coffee from the barista and turned back to her. She squinted at him through the thick lenses of her glasses.

“Who the fuck-”

“It's not a big deal, really, I'm not that bothered by it. I don't think it's because he'd rather work, but maybe because he's just not tired?” Aaron walked over to their usual table by the window where Katherine had set her stuff down. “He has been drinking a lot of coffee lately.” 

“Aaron, Alex lives off of coffee. I'm surprised he's slept at all since the year started.” 

“Still, it worries me.”

Katherine made a noise of agreement then opened up her laptop. 

“Do you think I'm being melodramatic?” Aaron asked, and Katherine glanced up at him. “I mean, I guess he's always been like that. I don't know why it’s suddenly so surprising.”

“Aaron, you're not being over dramatic. Your boyfriend, who you've been with for almost fifteen months now, is suddenly refusing to sleep with you. I'd be worried too. Seriously though, who the fuck wouldn't want to sleep with you? Have you seen yourself? Your boyfriend must be out of his goddamn mind.”

Aaron rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. This is why he always came to Katherine. Her advice was mostly bullshit, but she always knew what to say to make him smile. 

“Katherine, _please_.”

“I know, I get it, I'm a trick ass hoe, what else is new. Seriously though, maybe you should just talk to Alex about all this. I'm sure he’d understand. That's what you do in a relationship right? You talk to each other? I mean, I wouldn't know, I've never been in a relationship like the one you and Alex have _so_..."

And that was that for the most part. Aaron dismissed it as Alex just being Alex and allowed himself to relax a little bit. That night however, Alex didn't come to bed, which was usual. What wasn't usual was the fact that at four in the morning when Aaron woke up, Alex still wasn't in bed with him. He found his way into Alex's office, where he was still writing, an empty coffee mug by his side. It only took Aaron a few moments to realize that he was typing at a fast pace but his hands were shaking. 

“Are you coming to bed anytime soon?”

“I'm not tired.” Alex said without turning or even glancing back at Aaron. Aaron frowned. 

“When was the last time you got some sleep?”

“It doesn't matter.”

“Yes it does, Alexander, you're sleep deprived, you need to take a break.”

“I'm fine, Burr. You don't need to be constantly worrying about me, you're not my mother. I'm twenty years old, I can take care of myself.” Alex snarled, still refusing to look back over his shoulder. Aaron flinched at the harshness in his voice, but his surprise quickly faded to anger.

“Fine. I'm sorry for caring.”

Aaron slept alone the rest of the night. 

When he woke up the next morning, Aaron was startled by the unusual quiet that had fallen over the dorm. There wasn't even the sound of Alex's non-stop typing. An unfamiliar dread settled low in his stomach. Throwing the covers off himself, he stretched and yawned before walking into Alex's office.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Alexander's form slumped over his desk.

He only stood there for a second before rushing over to his boyfriend's side and dropping to his knees. Alex looked frighteningly pale and the bags under his eyes were even darker than before.

“Alexander,” Aaron grabbed his shoulder and shook him gently, “Alexander, hey, wake up. Come on babe, get up.” Alex didn't stir, and Aaron's worst fears came to life. He was about to run and grab his phone to call John or maybe even 911 when all of a sudden, Alex awoke in a fit of violent coughing. Aaron brushed the hair from his face and allowed his breathing to steady.

“Hey, Alex, look at me. Oh god, come on, let's get you in bed.”

Aaron reached to help him but Alex was already another step ahead of him. Pushing his chair back, Alex shoved past Aaron and ran from the room. Aaron called after him, and less than a minute later, he could hear the unmistakeable sound of Alex retching in the bathroom down the hall. He rushed down the hall, but he thought better about going in the bathroom as he stopped outside the door. So instead he stood waiting, concerned and anxious, for Alex to finish. Eventually, the retching subsided and there was the sound of the faucet being turned on, then silence. A couple moments later, the door opened and Alex emerged looking horribly tired and disheveled. He groaned and rubbed at his temple, and Aaron gingerly reached out to brush the hair from his face. Alex sighed and leaned into his touch, prompting Aaron to draw him into his chest.

“I think we need to take you to the doctor, baby.” Aaron said softly, kissing the top of Alex's head. 

“I'm fi-”

“Alexander, don't you _dare_ tell me that you're fine. You just _threw up_.”

Alex didn't argue after that, he just groaned into Aaron's chest and let himself be led into the kitchen. Aaron grabbed his car keys off the counter and pulled Alex gently into the hallway and into the elevator. 

One might have found it weird that driving to the hospital was almost second nature to Aaron, but if they knew Alexander, they'd understand. Ever since the two started dating Aaron had been finding himself at the hospital or the ER more and more. He'd been there so many times, that when he first went there to get Alex as his boyfriend the receptionist recognized him, smiled, and asked “Are you here to pick up your roommate again?” And instead of just saying yes, Aaron had corrected her and replied “Actually, Alex and I are dating now.”

But instead of the reaction he was expecting, the receptionist had just smiled even wider and laughed “Congratulations! I knew you two would be good together.” At this Aaron had cocked his head to the side, confused. She must have known what he was thinking because she replied. “After all the times he's been here, you were always the first one here. You always came to pick him up. And it's usually those people who care the most.”

Now that really stuck with Aaron. He thought about it every time he had to go to the hospital, and he'd always look for the young receptionist. It had stuck with him because of how startlingly true it was. Alex’s friends always came to the hospital, but it was always Aaron who had gotten there first. He'd always been the one to ask Alex “why do you do this to yourself?”. He’d always been the one who was first on Alex’s emergency contact list, he was the one they called first. He was the one that got called into the room when Alex woke up, he was the one the doctor told “look after him, okay?” but he had never noticed it until now.

He thought about that as they drove to the hospital, occasionally glancing over at Alex, who was currently struggling to keep his eyes open. At one point Alex turned, met Aaron's glance and smirked, wiggling his eyebrows and probably trying to be seductive, but Aaron couldn't help laughing at the sight. But God, did he love his crazy mess of a boyfriend.

Once at the hospital, Aaron unbuckled and got out of the car. He waited for a couple seconds outside but Alex remained seated, and Aaron sighed before walking around the side of the car to the passenger's seat. He opened the door and stared at Alex expectantly.

“You gonna get out any time soon?”

“Please don't make me go in there, Burr.” Alex said before looking back at Aaron, terrified. His hands were shaking and his eyes were wide with fear. Aaron squatted down next to him and furrowed his brow.

“What's wrong, sweetheart?”

“I don't want to go in there, please don't make me.”

“Why not?” Aaron took Alex's shaking hands and kissed them gently, looking up at Alex the entire time.

“The doctors took my mom, Aaron.”

This made Aaron falter for a moment, suddenly feeling very guilty. He rubbed Alex's hands soothingly and sighed.

“Alexander, I will be with you the entire time, okay? I am not going to leave you, you can count on that.”

“Promise?” Alex’s voice was exceedingly child-like, and it made Aaron laugh softly.

“I promise.”

Alex hesitated another second before nodding and letting Aaron pull him from the car. They then walked, hand in hand, to the entrance of the hospital. They checked in with a receptionist, not the young one Aaron had met a while ago, in fact he didn't see her anywhere. They found two chairs in the lounge area, sat down and waited. It was only about ten minutes before a nurse came and called out Alex’s name. Alex glanced worriedly over at him but Aaron squeezed his hand reassuringly and got up. 

The nurse sat them down in a room down the hall, then said the doctor would be in soon. Aaron then proceeded to spend the next ten minutes trying to keep his human disaster of a boyfriend from touching _every piece of medical equipment in the room_. At one point, Aaron actually had to hold him down to the exam table to which Alex responded with a playful smirk before leaning up to drag his tongue across Aaron’s neck. 

_He was going to be the death of him._

Another five minutes and the doctor finally came in, apologizing for the wait, and flicking through some papers on a clipboard. 

“Alexander, it’s nice to see you. Again.” The doctor gave Alex an exhausted, almost pitying look before returning his eyes to the clipboard. “What seems to be the problem today?”

Aaron waited for Alex to respond, but then realized Alex was staring at him expectantly. _Of course._ He sighed and rolled his eyes before responding.

“Alex has been having trouble sleeping. He threw up this morning and his hands have been shaking. I'm worried it has something to do with the amount of coffee he's been drinking.”

The doctor looked Alex up and down before turning back to Aaron. “Well it certainly wouldn't be surprising. Caffeine overdoses are common in dedicated college students like you. I'll have to take some blood to see his caffeine levels.”

The doctor unhooked the stethoscope from around his neck and stepped up to place it against Alex’s chest. He gave him some breathing command and listened intently. A minute later Aaron saw something like confusion mixed with alarm flash across his features. Another couple minutes later and Aaron was leading Alex down the hall to the lab to get a blood sample. 

“Burr, are they gonna put a needle in my arm?” Alex leaned up to whisper in Aaron’s ear, the alarm apparent in his voice.

“Yes, but only for a little bit, don’t get worked up.”

“Burr, I don't like getting shots. They hurt.”

“It's not a shot, Alex. I'll let you hold my hand.”

At this, Alex seemed to calm down a little bit and he let Aaron pull him into the blood lab, where the nurse from before sat him down in a big chair. She took out a small vial and a rather large needle and Aaron saw the panic that came over his boyfriend and how he started to move from the chair. Aaron grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. A second later and Alex was mesmerized by the dark red liquid traveling up the tube and into the small vial. A minute passed, and it was over. The nurse taped some gauze to his arm, and sent the back to the room. 

“Well that was underwhelming.” Alex said as they walked hand in hand back to the room.

“What do you mean?” Aaron asked, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“I don't know. I half expected to pass out when she stuck the needle in, but I didn't. Guess I'm just too strong for that.” Alex added the last part and flexed the arm with the gauze around it, throwing a coy wink in the direction of his boyfriend. _Sweet Jesus._ Once back in the room, Aaron had to sit for five minutes and endure Alex’s horrible pickup lines.

“Can you touch me? I want to tell my friends I was touched by an angel.”

“Babe, please.”

“Are you an elevator? ‘Cause I would _definitely_ go down on you.”

“Alexander, I swear to god-”

“ _Ooh,_ you only call me Alexander in bed. Are you-”

Thankfully, Alex stopped talking when the doctor came back in, and Aaron silently thanked him for his timing. This time, instead of a clipboard, he had a small laptop with him. Aaron assumed he had the data from Alex’s blood pulled   
up on his laptop, as he jotted things down on a sheet on the counter.

“Holy _shit_.” He stated, genuinely shocked at whatever was on his laptop. 

“What is it?” Aaron sat up straighter, the shock in the doctor's voice starting to scare him. The doctor looked up at Alex before looking at Aaron, and then flicking his gaze back down to the laptop.

“Alexander’s caffeine level is remarkably high. Like, over twice the normal caffeine level. How many cups do you think you're drinking a day?”

Alex looked over at Aaron before looking back at the doctor.

“Only two. Three at most.” He responded innocently. The doctor raised an eyebrow disbelievingly, and even Aaron couldn't help rolling his eyes. “Fine. Ten at least.”

_“Ten!”_ Aaron and the doctor said in unison. _Ten cups of coffee a day?_ Alex shrugged, apparently lost for words. Go figure. The doctor stared at Alex, glancing back and forth him and Aaron, as if expecting one of them to tell him that Alex was kidding. As much as Aaron wished Alex was kidding, deep down he knew it was completely true. The doctor must've sensed this, because he finally looked back down at his laptop and sighed.

“Well, uh...it was definitely a caffeine overdose. Side effects sometimes can include, like you said, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, and restlessness. In severe cases, like this, it can result dizziness, cardiac arrhythmia, or, sometimes, cardiac arrest.” The doctor added the last part quietly and gently, but it didn't stop the fear that struck Aaron like a bolt of lightning. 

_Cardiac arrest._

Alex could have _died._

“This is totally treatable though.” The doctor said quickly, noticing his expression. “This day and age, there's a lot of caffeine overdoses, especially in high schoolers and college students. All we have to do is detox the caffeine out of his system, which can be done through a shot. It'll just have the same side effects as morphine.”

_‘This should be fun.’_

“Can't I just go home and sleep it off?” Alex asked, looking slightly annoyed that they were talking as if he wasn't even there. _‘That's what you get for almost drinking yourself to death’_ Aaron thought bitterly. 

“Well, if we let you do that, it might result in a caffeine crash, which, judging by the caffeine in your system, could be deadly.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend, waiting for him to argue. Alex looked like he was going to say something, but cowered under Aaron's glare. The doctor probably sensed the tense atmosphere in the room, because he quickly excused himself from the room to go get the medicine. Alex occasionally glanced over at Aaron, most likely expecting him to criticize him, but Aaron didn't have the energy to scold his boyfriend right now. He was just too tired. 

 

If Aaron thought Alex on morphine was bad, _nothing_ could compare to whatever shit the hospital injected into his veins to detox him from the caffeine. Alex was practically unconscious as he wrapped his arms around Aaron's shoulders, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. Now, Aaron would've been more than fine with this any other day, but he was trying to unlock their dorm without disturbing his half asleep disaster of a boyfriend. When he finally got the door open and threw his keys onto the counter, Alex thought it would be a good idea to wrap his legs around Aaron's hips, nearly toppling the two of them over. Aaron obliged quickly, hooking his arms under Alex’s legs to carry him to their bedroom. He laid Alex down on the bed, and started to unzip his pants so he could get him in bed.

“Ooh, kinky.”

Aaron looked up into the smirking face of Alexander. Dammit, he _was_ still conscious.

“I'm just trying to get you in bed, Alex.”

“Aw, baby, you don't have to make excuses, I understand.” Alex cooed, lifting his hips up to help Aaron strip him. “If you wanted to do something you could have just asked.”

“Oh, don't worry _baby,_ we won't be doing anything.” Aaron managed to get his jeans off his legs and toss them into the corner of the room, mimicking Alex’s sultry voice. He crawled on top of him, noting the way Alex’s breath hitched slightly. “You,” he paused and tapped his nose lightly “need sleep.” 

“You're no fun.” Alex teased, pouting slightly. Aaron smiled and clambered off of him so he could get changed himself. Alex sat up, stretched and yawned, before turning and flopping, face first, down onto the bed. Aaron pulled his shirt off over his head, before pulling his jeans off to favor a pair of sweatpants. He was pulling his sweatpants up to his hip bones when he turned around and noticed Alex was watching him from his place on the bed. 

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, nothing. Just enjoying the show.”

“Yeah, okay.” Aaron laughed, his face heating up. “Move over and let me lay down you big dork.” Aaron rolled his eyes and leaned down to nudge Alex to the other side of the bed. Alex reached up to grab Aaron's arm and pulled him down onto the bed, the two of them falling into each other in a fit of breathless laughter. Alex pressed Aaron down into the bed before climbing on top of him and straddling his hips. Alex planted his hands near either side of Aaron's face, holding his weight up. Aaron’s hands moved of their own accord to rub the skin of Alex’s back, and Aaron's eyes tracked the way Alex’s dark hair, messy and unkept, fell down to frame his face. 

“Love you, beautiful.” Aaron whispered, barely audible, but Alex heard. He grinned and leaned down to capture his lips in a kiss. Aaron sighed into it and let himself be kissed. He lived for moments like this. When Alex finally pulled away, Aaron felt almost drunk, like he always did when Alex kissed him like that. Alex scooted farther down on Aaron's hips so he could lay his head down on his bare chest, letting his hand drag lazily up and down Aaron's side. 

“Love you more. Have I ever told you how great you are?” Alex said, his head still on Aaron's chest, and he could feel his boyfriend’s gentle laugh shaking his chest. 

“I think so, a couple times, why?”

“Just thought I'd mention it again.”

It was the small things that made Aaron happy. It was the quiet moments spent alone with Alex that satisfied him. Moments like this, for example, were all he needed.

Moments like this were enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are happy  
> Cause now 'symptoms of a caffeine overdose' and 'cheesy pickup lines' are in my search history :')  
> Trying to get these out as soon as possible please be patient and understanding and thank you all so much for your support <333


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow this one was fun to write  
> This one has depictions of violence, mentions of blood, and more homosexual slurs so just a warning  
> Also this was my first attempt at writing out a fist fight so feel free to give me feedback  
> Your guys' comments are too sweet and I'm like ????? I don't deserve this ??? Y'all are way too supportive I might cry ????

“Burr, come on, it won't be that bad. It'll be fun” Alex bumped his shoulder into his boyfriend playfully, and Aaron rolled his eyes in response. Alex had somehow convinced him to join him and his friends in an expedition out to a pub downtown. Aaron had only once gone out for drinks with them, and the one reason he'd never gone out with them again is because he'd gotten drunk the first time, and alcohol and Aaron Burr didn't mix well.

“Please. You and I are both well aware that you just want to see me get drunk.” 

“Well, how can I help it?” Alex laughed. “You go from stoic, reserved Aaron Burr to shameless, hopeless romantic Aaron Burr. It's adorable.”

“It's also pretty hilarious.” John chimed in. 

“Don't worry, Aaron.” Peggy laughed from her place next to John. “You and I can be the designated driver squad.” Her mature demeanor almost made Aaron forget that she still wasn’t legally old enough to drink alcohol. 

Once inside the pub, Aaron immediately regretted letting Alex drag him along. The pub was filled with people, and smelled strongly of alcohol, which of course, didn’t surprise him. Alex must have saw his expression, because he grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“It’ll be fun, I promise.” He smiled up at him before leaning up and kissing his cheek. “Now come on, let’s get you drunk.”

After getting a booth in the back of the pub, Herc offered to go get drinks for the entire group. Aaron and Peggy were still standing strong to their whole “no drinking” stance, but Alex was starting to make things pretty difficult.

“Burr, come on, amuse me.” He said again, pushing his glass of beer towards him. “Just one glass.” 

“Yeah, Burr, you're not being a really good boyfriend by depriving your lover of his happiness.” Herc smirked before taking another swig of beer. Aaron rolled his eyes again.

“Okay, how about we make a deal.” Alex tucked his legs underneath himself so they were eye level. “If you get drunk with me tonight, I'll have sex with you when we get back to the dorm.”

Herc spat out his drink while John and Lafayette burst into laughter.

“Wow. Tempting.” Aaron narrowed his eyes in response. 

“I know right? Come on, you know you want it.” Alex smirked playfully and bit his lip. Aaron didn't stand a chance.

“Alex, I'm not getting drunk tonight.”

“C’mon Aaron! We can have sex how you like it even! All slow and-”

“Okay! Fine, you know what,” Aaron grabbed the drink from Alex's hand, his face hot from embarrassment, “I will have this drink. One glass, to make you stop talking.” Alex grinned.

“Deal.”

“Woah are you telling me Burr likes it slow? No way, dude.” John laughed again and Peggy elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Oh, he does, trust me.” Alex laughed and winked at Aaron.

“Shut up.” Aaron mumbled as he raised the glass to his lips. In a few seconds he had swigged the entire glass down, feeling Alex's hungry eyes on him the entire time. He set the glass down and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you happy now?”

“Very.” Alex nodded and grinned.

Only about an hour later, Alex was already tipsy and Aaron and Peggy were the only ones sitting in the booth. Aaron was staring across the bar at Alex, who was chugging down a glass of beer, being cheered on by Laf, Herc, and John. Aaron shook his head and smiled, looking down at the table. 

“Do you love him?” 

Aaron looked up questioningly at Peggy, who was watching him fondly. “Do you love him, Alexander, I mean. Does he make you happy?”

Aaron looked back over at Alex briefly, and this time, Alex caught his eye. Alex smiled at him and waved. Aaron waved back.

“Yeah. I love him. And of course he makes me happy. Why?”

“Just wondering.” Peggy smiled at him again before taking a sip of her Diet Pepsi. There was something in her voice that made Aaron want to push the subject further, but then Alex was sitting down next to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders.

“Hey there, gorgeous.” Alex greeted him before kissing his cheek fondly.

“Hi. What are you doing?”

“Well I couldn't help but notice that my beautiful boyfriend was staring at me from across the bar, and I decided that he must have been lonely. And we can't have that, now can we?”

“I think I'll go get another Pepsi and find John.” Peggy stated more to herself than to them before getting up in search of her boyfriend, leaving Alex and Aaron alone. They sat in silence for another few seconds, Alex lazily trailing his hand up and down Aaron's chest. 

“Sorry I was so pushy on getting you drunk earlier.” Alex said after a while. Aaron looked down at him.

“That's fine. I'm used to it by now.”

“I just really like it when you're drunk.”

“I know.”

“Not that I don't like it when you're sober or anything, really, I like you all the time. And I shouldn't have exposed our sexlife like that. That was super dumb too, God, I'm so sorry-”

“ _Alex,_ babe, you're rambling.” 

“Sorry-”

“And stop apologizing, there's no need for it.”

Alex sounded like he was going to apologize again but he caught himself just in time and closed his mouth. This was part of Alex’s drunk nature. He became horribly honest and rambled a lot, and he didn't have nearly enough control over his emotions. 

“Aw, are you guys having a moment?”

Aaron and Alex looked up in unison at John, Laf and Herc, each with a glass of beer in their hands.

“We were until you three came along.” Alex rolled his eyes and sat up. 

“Ouch, Alex that really wounded me, I'm truly hurt.” John’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, but after a brief glance around the booth he looked back at them in confusion. “Where's Peggy?”

“She went to go find you.” Alex shrugged, reaching for his glass of beer.

“Okay, I'm gonna go find her, Herc, try to keep these two from having sex at the table, cool?” John winked at Aaron and Alex before walking off to find Peggy. Herc rolled his eyes and sat down with Lafayette. 

“I like this shirt on you.” Alex smiled, toying with the fabric of Aaron’s button down.

“Thanks, babe. You got it for me, remember?”  
“I always knew I had a great taste in fashion.” Alex said with a grin.

“That is a _fucking_ lie, Alex.” Hercules quipped from across the table, making Lafayette laugh loudly. Alex ignored them and looked at Aaron dead in the eyes.

“Bet it’d look better on the floor, though.”

“Oh my god.” Aaron sighed out of exasperation, resisting the urge to get up and walk out of the bar. 

“Alex, you need to find god.” Hercules says with a shake of his head. Alex only turned to him and smiled mischievously.

“I already have. His name is Aaron.” 

Aaron put his head in his hands and groaned, wishing he could disappear. Hercules looked like he wanted to do the same thing. Alex laughed uproariously and nuzzled the crook of Aaron’s neck fondly.

“Alexander, _please.”_ Aaron smiled despite his best efforts. He tried to scoot away from his boyfriend but Alex's arm around his waist prevented him from moving in the slightest. Aaron's chest swelled with affection and it took all the willpower he had not to grab Alex and smother his face with kisses. 

“Oh mon Dieu, you two are disgustingly cute together.” Lafayette rolled his eyes but smirked before downing his entire glass of beer. If there was one thing Aaron had learned from watching Alex go out drinking with his friends, it was that Lafayette could handle his liquor very well. 

“Alex!” John yelled from across the bar, and Alex grumbled something inaudible before looking up, obviously agitated. “They're doing Black Russian shots!"

“No way!” The table shook as Hercules lifted himself from the booth, a grin on his face.

“They never do Noir Russe shots!” Lafayette abandoned his empty glass and followed quickly after Herc. Alex started to get up, but turned back to Aaron, looking at him hesitantly, as if asking permission.

“Go ahead, have fun.” Aaron smiled adoringly. “I'll still be here when you get back.” Alex grinned and planted a loud kiss to the corner of his mouth before getting up. 

“I'll be back when I'm shit-faced!” He promised loudly before running off after his friends. By the way he'd seen Alex handle his liquor, Aaron could tell it wouldn't be long until he was drunk off his ass. Peggy sat down in the space across from him.

“Guess it's just you and me again.”

Out of the three Schuyler sisters, Peggy was probably the one Aaron got along with most. He was good friends with all three of them, but around Peggy he felt a little more at ease, like he didn't have to be the picture perfect prodigy of Princeton everyone expected him to be. Angelica, the oldest, was studying law alongside Aaron, and she seemed like a good person, but things had been slightly tense between them ever since she'd turned Aaron down when he hit on her over the summer. And since it’d happened right in front of Alex and his friends, well _shit_ , was that hard to live down. Eliza, the second oldest, was kind, and Aaron and her got along pretty well. Every time Aaron would see her though she'd be with her girlfriend Theodosia, who just happened to be Aaron's ex from high school. It was fine with him, of course, he wasn't jealous at all, but Theodosia and him hadn't ended things exactly well, and it always bothered him that they couldn't remain good friends after the breakup, like they were before they even started dating. 

So that left Peggy. Peggy was reserved and quiet at first, but over time Aaron and her become good friends, and Aaron realized she could be loud when she wanted to. Like _batshit crazy_ loud. So when he first introduced her to Alex and his friends, he'd almost immediately took notice when John couldn't take his eyes off her. Aaron eventually confronted John about it, and he reluctantly admitted that he'd instantly fallen hard for the youngest sister. Even Peggy mentioned that she thought John was pretty cute, and Aaron knew he had to do something. So after a brief counsel with Alex in their dorm, they decided to get them together, and bam, before anyone knew what was really happening, John and Peggy were officially a couple.

And sometimes, just briefly, Aaron had regretted getting them together. Of course he was happy Peggy had found someone like John, but after he got them together Peggy insisted on repaying Aaron for it. She'd tried to set him up with a few of her friends, but none of them really worked out, as Aaron had had his eyes set on someone else. And of course, once Peggy found out Aaron was crushing hard on Alex, she went absolutely nuts. She kept saying how she couldn't believe she didn't notice until now, I mean it was ‘so obvious’.

_“Aaron, how did I not notice this before, it's so freaking obvious.”_

_“Peggy, I swear it is not a big deal, it's just a little crush, that's all.”_

_“Oh, please. Anyone with eyes could tell you two have fallen hard for each other. You look at Alex like he's the best thing in the world sometimes.”_

_“I do not!”_

_“And if I’m being completely serious, Alex doesn't even try to be subtle when he's looking at your ass.”_

_“Peggy, please.”_

After about ten minutes of talking about school and their majors, Aaron became aware of a rather loud commotion from across the bar, and an unmistakeable voice that belonged to his boyfriend. No one had to tell him a fight was about to start, he could already tell by the tone in Alexander's unreasonably loud voice. 

_‘Seriously, Alex? We haven't even been here a full damn hour yet.’_

“I should probably go deal with that.” Aaron sighed, getting up from the table. Peggy cast a worried glance at him, but didn't protest, which probably wouldn't have stopped Aaron anyway. He made his way through the crowd of bar-goers, towards the commotion his boyfriend was likely the cause of. He wasn't surprised when he found Alex up in the face of another man, spitting curses and drunken insults. Aaron could tell he was almost shit faced by the unbridled anger in his eyes, and the way his features were sharp and rigid. Alex's threes friends were standing behind, looking grim and ready for a fight, but not nearly as drunk as Alex was. He must've taken it upon himself to beat the record of most shots in the pub. He was never one to turn down a challenge. Damn his friends and how they could just let Alex pick fights. Is that why he came home beaten up every time he went out with them? Aaron dismissed the criticism and turned back to the task at hand; getting Alex out of the pub without a black eye.

Aaron forced his way through the crowd of onlookers and towards Alex. Alex turned towards him and his features softened briefly. 

"I'm sorry, is there a problem?" Aaron pulled Alex behind him, stepping between him and the other man, and ignoring the protesting glare he received from his boyfriend. The man looked Aaron up and down, analyzing him and probably deciding if he was a threat, before responding.

"Yeah, that little fuckin' runt wants to start a fight with me."

Aaron did his best to stay calm and not let his anger show as he held Alex back. By the way the man had chosen his words freely, the guy must've guessed Aaron didn't pose any sort of a threat. Man, was he wrong. Aaron could stand his ground and fight, though he simply preferred not to. 

"Alexander is known to speak his mind, trust me. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. Sorry for the inconvenience." Aaron responded calmly while forcing a smile. The man stared him down and sneered as Aaron turned away to pull Alex out of the crowded club. 

"What are you supposed to be, the little shit's boyfriend?"

Aaron stopped dead in his tracks, his blood starting to boil. Alex whirled around with rage blazing violently in his eyes. Aaron's grip tightened around Alex's arm to prevent any movement as the man continued with his drunken onslaught.

"Ha, so not only is the kid a runt but he's also a little fag? Oh, that's funny." 

Alex made as if to rush the man, but Aaron grabbed him and pulled him back. He was about to protest when Aaron shushed him. 

"Just stay here."

Aaron straightened up and turned back around as Alex watched him with his mouth hanging slightly open. The man stood at least a head taller than him, and Aaron would be lying if he said he wasn't intimidated, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. _No one_ talks about Alex like that. 

"I suggest you shut your goddamn mouth before I'm forced to shut it for you." Aaron hissed with a deceiving smile. The surrounding people, who had now started to pay attention to the ongoing argument, began "ooh" ing and a few were starting to chuckle. Alex's jaw had dropped even further and he let out an airy laugh of disbelief.

"Hey, do you wanna go?" The man pushed Aaron back harshly, his voice dripping contempt. "Why don'tcha save yourself the pain and run along home with your boyfriend. I don't pick fights with little faggots like you or the li'l runt."

Aaron's fist flew into the man's jaw so forcefully that it sent reverberations up his arm. The man's hand flew up to his mouth and he stumbled backwards. The surrounding people all simultaneously let out a harsh gasp, and Aaron thought he heard John cuss out loud.

"And I don't usually pick fights with drunken assholes in crowded pubs, but I guess it's a good day for change."

The man wiped at his mouth with his hand, and when he pulled it away, it was bloody. He looked back up at Aaron with malice in his eyes and a grimace on his face.

"Oh you just don't know when to quit do you?"

The man took another step towards him and Aaron felt his heart rate pick up and the adrenaline in his veins begin to pump, but he stood his ground, shaking the blood from his knuckles and flexing his hand. The man rushed him, bringing his fist back in a sloppy attempt to punch Aaron back. Aaron dodged just in time, ducking beneath the man's arm so he was behind him and then turning so he could shove him forward roughly. The man stumbled briefly before whirling back around, face contorted with hatred.

He lunged again, and this time he caught the collar of Aaron's shirt with both hands, and slammed him into the wall. His head hit the brick with a loud crack and a loud ringing filled Aaron's head. The man's fist hit Aaron's jaw so quick he barely noticed it happened. His vision was blurry and unfocused, and the man had punched him one, two more times when the taste of his own blood finally snapped him from his daze. 

Using all of his energy, he brought his knee up into the man's stomach as heavily as he could. The man grimaced in pain, letting go of Aaron's collar and to clutch his stomach and stagger backward with a groan. Aaron pushed himself off the wall and dragged a hand across his mouth, scowling when it came away bloody. Regaining his breath, the man tried to come at Aaron again, but Aaron slugged him in the side of his jaw again, knocking him to his knees. The man placed a hand on the ground and with a lot of effort, pushed himself back up. He took a step towards Aaron again but before he got any closer, Aaron grabbed the collar of his shirt and shoved him back down. He stumbled, fell and his head hit the corner of the pool table with a sickening crack. He didn't get up. 

Shit.

Aaron felt the dread run through him, and his blood turn to ice in his veins. He moved to help the man up, but was instantly grabbed by another pair of arms and pulled back. 

"You'll pay for that, fag."

The new guy threw him down onto the ground, and the searing pain that shot up through Aaron's shoulder was bound to leave a bruise. He struggled to rebound quickly, but the guy's foot that kicked harshly into his chest sent him back to the ground with a yelp of pain. He was kicked countless more times before the guy finally pulled him back up by his shirt. Having no energy left to fight, Aaron just snarled at him, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth.

Aaron struggled hard, resisting the pull with what was left of his might, but the other guy hadn't just been beaten to shit like Aaron had. He pushed Aaron back into the pool table, and pinned his arms down. Over the ringing in his head, he could faintly hear Alex yelling in the background, spitting out a stream of curse words and threats if they didn't let his boyfriend go this instant. Aaron could see him out of the corner of his eye. Another, taller guy was holding Alex back, probably one of the drunk man's friends. Alex's eyes were blazing and angry, but there was something else behind that fire, something desperate and scared. Aaron used his remaining strength to try and shove the other guy off him, he had to get to his boyfriend. 

"Hold him still, dammit! And keep that little runt in check too!" Someone else yelled. Another guy came into view, and he pulled something out from his back pocket. 

The blade of the knife shined under the lighting from the bar, and Aaron's heart stopped as fear ran through his veins.

Alex screamed.

Aaron squeezed his eyes shut and waited for it to come, but it never did. The ringing in his head was still there and horribly loud, but he could hear someone yelling over the noise before the pressure holding him down was lifted. There was a scuffle of movement and something sliced his cheek, but he barely felt the pain as he fell to the ground. The room was spinning, and everything was blurry and had a fuzzy red halo around it. It took him a second to realize there was blood on his hand, but he couldn't figure out if it belonged to him or the other man. 

“Burr, hey.” 

It was John. Aaron was actually surprised when he saw genuine concern on his face, but he just blamed it on his blurry vision. John grabbed his shoulder and tried to get him to sit up, but pulled back when Aaron winced harshly in pain. “Look at me dude, how many fingers am I holding up?” 

Aaron tried to focus on John's hand, but his vision was too hazy, and he felt his strength slipping away. Damn, was he really that far gone? Aaron took some comfort in the fact that he was fully aware that he was beaten to shit, at least that meant he was somewhat conscious.

He also became aware of Hercules yelling at the other guy, the one that had pulled the knife on Aaron. 

“What the hell do you think you're doing, you asshole? You don't bring fucking _weapons_ to a fist fight!”

_The knife._ Something had sliced his cheek. Aaron reached up shakily and felt around the area under his eye. When he looked back at his hand it was shining wet with blood. 

“Hey, don't touch it just leave it alone.” John swatted his hand away. The rest was mostly a blur, but all of a sudden someone had yanked him off the ground by his bruised shoulder and was dragging him through the crowd, who parted like the Red Sea. He could faintly remember John yelling at the person to leave Aaron alone but then they had thrown Aaron out of the club onto the street. 

“And stay out!”

The cold air was such a contrast to the warmth and humidity of the club, that it woke Aaron up a bit. He stumbled, and caught on to a lamppost, steadying himself. A couple walked by, giving him a disgusted glance. They probably thought he was some drunk college student who couldn't handle a fight or his alcohol. _‘I'm not drunk’_ he wanted to say _‘I was standing up for my boyfriend because I don't like it when he gets hurt and I can't stand homophobic pricks’_ but that probably would have scared them a little. So instead he gave them a halfhearted wave, to which the girl replied with a short, airy laugh before turning back around. 

All the pain, which had been previously masked by the adrenaline thrumming through his veins, suddenly came crashing back down onto Aaron like an invisible tidal wave of agony. He wanted to pass out. He opted for leaning on the lamppost instead and wiping the blood from his chin. He felt around his mouth with a hesitant hand, making sure he still had all of his teeth.

The door to the bar opened suddenly, spilling light out onto the darkened street, lit by only a few street lamps. Alexander rushed out and threw his arms around Aaron tightly, murmuring a few unintelligible things Aaron couldn't hear. Alex pulled back however, when Aaron winced in pain, Alex's hug causing a sharp pain in his chest. Alex covered his mouth with one hand, looking about ready to burst into tears. Aaron smiled ruefully at him. Alex reached out hesitantly to touch at the cut under his eye, then settling for cradling his cheek. Aaron leaned into his touch, letting him wipe at the blood on his chin. When he spoke, his voice cracked.

“A-are you okay? Oh god- what the hell am I saying? Of course you aren't okay. Oh babe, look what he did to you, oh my god, you're bleeding-”

“Alex, I'm fine, don't worry. What about you, did he hurt you? He didn't hurt you, did he?”

Alex let out a short bark of pained laughter. “Who cares?”

“I do!” Aaron pulled Alex into his chest, forcing himself not to wince when Alex wrapped his arms around him. “Thank god you're okay.” He whispered into Alex's shoulder. Even if he was beat up, he could still take relief in the fact that Alex was safe. 

The door to the bar opened again, but this time it was John and Peggy who came rushing out, followed soon by Lafayette and Hercules. John took his backpack from Peggy, unzipped a pocket and pulled out a pair of blue latex gloves. 

“Alright folks, the doctor is in, let me see my patient.” He snapped on the gloves with way too much confidence, his eyes scanning Aaron up and down. 

“I’d really rather not, John.” Aaron warned him as Alex stepped back, but John ignored him. Without warning, John lifted Aaron's shirt , to which Aaron cussed loudly, and Alex looked at him skeptically He prodded around Aaron's chest, nodding intently whenever Aaron winced in pain. When he let his shirt fall back down he turned back to Peggy and asked for something from his bag, amid many glares from both Aaron and Alex. 

“Maybe a few cracked ribs, nothing major. Peggy, doll, could you hand me my flashlight?”

_‘Nothing major? A few cracked ribs weren't considered major?’_

“Do you just carry around gloves and flashlights with you?” Alex asked, eyeing Johns bag cautiously. 

“A doctor's gotta be prepared yo.”

“John, you're studying to be a veterinarian.”

“Well, yeah, but to be a vet I had to take a class in first aid, so. Let me see your teeth dude.”

Again, not waiting for a reply, John pried his mouth open and shone the flashlight inside.

“Go figure, you didn't knock any teeth out. Lemme see your head.”

After another minute of John feeling around the back of Aaron's head, he stepped back with a huff.

“Well I'll be damned. Looks like you escaped with only a minor concussion and a few cracked ribs. Honestly, watching that fight I thought you were a goner for sure.”

“Does he need to see a doctor or anything, will he be okay?” Alex asked, looking between John and his boyfriend worriedly. 

“He'll be fine Alex, trust the doctor.” 

“But seriously, Burr, you beat the shit out of that guy. It was super badass.” Herc said with a low whistle.

“Yeah, like, holy shit Baby Burr, I didn't know you could fight.” John smirked, peeling off his gloves and shoving them in his backpack along with the flashlight. 

“Of course I can, I just prefer not to.” He snorted, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous nickname.

“Well you should fight more often, cause that was fucking awesome.” Lafayette laughed, then turning back to the closed door of the pub, said, “Guess we won't be coming back here anytime soon, huh?”

“Ah, who needs this place anyway. Plenty of other better bars around here.” John waved his hand in dismissal. Pretty soon the six of them were walking down the street back to the dorms, Alex unusually quiet. After almost five whole minutes of absolute silence from his boyfriend, Aaron glanced over at him questioningly.

“Alex, are you mad at me? Look, I'm really sorry I ruined the night by getting into a fight but I couldn't just-”

“What? No, no, babe, I'm not mad at you, please don't blame yourself for this.” Alex grabbed his hand and kissed his bruised knuckles soothingly. “None of this is your fault. If anything, it's all my fault. If I hadn't dragged you to the bar in the first place, and if I hadn't gotten drunk and started a fight, you wouldn't be- ...well, you know.”

“Alex, this is not your fault, okay? None of this is. I _chose_ to come with you and your friends tonight. I could've walked away from that fight, but I didn't. Because I wanted to fight for you. Because no one, _no one_ ,” Aaron poked Alex in the middle of the chest for emphasis, “treats _my boyfriend_ like shit. No one hurts you without answering to me. Got it? If anyone fucks with you Alexander, they're also gonna have to fuck with me, and trust me, it won't go well for them.”

Alex stared at him for an almost uncomfortable amount of time before a small smile lit up his face.

“I love you, you know.” He said finally, wording it like a question but stating it as a fact. “So much.”

Aaron smiled down at him, throwing an arm around his shoulder and kissing the top of his head. “I love you more.”

“I don't think that's possible.”

“Oh, you'd be surprised.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might be a little gay for Peggy, she's my bab  
> Hopefully next chapter will be up by Tuesday, Wednesday night at the latest


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their anniversaryyyy  
> Also I'm working on a new fic with a friend of mine it's gonna be a band/orchestra Hamburr au   
> So you can only imagine how busy I am :')

Twelve months.

Twelve full months since the day Alex had kissed Aaron in the coffee shop.

Twelve full, long months since Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had become the campus’ majorly known couple. Probably because Alex had gone around flaunting it in everyone's face that he had a hot new boyfriend who also happened to be the prodigy of Princeton College.

Twelve months.

Aaron sat there in his political sciences class, thinking it over in his head. Today was their anniversary. They'd both agreed on not getting each other presents, just spending the night alone together. Aaron knew Alex was a sucker for special events, and was probably going to set up some extravagantly romantic evening. He could only hope that he wouldn't go back to the dorm to find it in shambles due to some crazy scheme his boyfriend had in store. 

At the end of class, which just happened to be the last class of the day for him, Aaron threw his binder into his bag, sling it over his shoulder and was about to leave the room when someone calling his name stopped him.

“Aaron! Wait up.”

He turned and found James Madison running up to him, with his boyfriend, and also Alex’s political rival, Thomas Jefferson, trailing slowly behind him. James and Aaron had always been good friends, and despite him being a total dick to Alex, Aaron had never really had anything against Thomas either. 

“What's up James?”

“Did Washington already tell you who you were going up against in the mock trial next week?”

“Yeah, I got an email about it last night, why?”

“Well, I didn't get one, so I just wanted to make sure.” James was about to turn and walk back to Washington's desk, but he stopped himself and turned back to him. “Isn't it your anniversary with Hamilton today.”

“Yeah, how did you know?” Aaron asked, cocking his head to the side.

“He wouldn't stop talking about it yesterday.”

“Ah. That sounds like him.”

“Well, I won't hold you up then. Go run off and find your man.” James smiled, and Aaron laughed softly before waving goodbye to the two of them.

“They'll never make it.” Thomas sighed,   
throwing an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders.

“Well, they made it to a year so you,” James paused and elbowed Thomas playfully in the stomach, “owe me twenty bucks.”

“Whatever. Another twenty says they won't make it to thirteen.”

“ _Potential_ , Thomas, my darling, they have potential.”

 

Aaron, however didn't find Alex at his Intro to Sociology class, where he usually was at this time of day. After asking around, it seemed that Alex had left early, which was unusual, since Alex was always the one staying afterwards to ask the professor all kinds of ridiculous questions. On his way out of the building, he bumped into Hercules, and asked him about Alex's disappearance.

“I don't know, Baby Burr, last time I checked I think Alex was planning some big romantic surprise for you.” He responded with a big mischievous grin.

“I'm not gonna go back to the dorm and find it burned down or something am I?” Aaron asked, almost genuinely concerned, but Herc just let out a loud laugh in response.

“I don't know, man. With Alex, anything is possible.” 

_‘You got that right’_

With that, Aaron made his way back to the dorm, hoping he wouldn't walk in on some disaster that was Alex's doing. Taking a deep breath, he stuck the key is the lock and turned it, opening the door into the dorm.

“Alex?” He called into the too silent dorm. Alex came skidding out of their bedroom, a wide grin plastered on his face.

“Babe! You're back early!” He ran up and threw his arms around his neck, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss. “Happy Anniversary!” 

Aaron smiled, pulling Alex closer to him by his hips. Why was he worried again? Alex was just trying his best to make the night special. Aaron dropped his school bag to the ground and scooped Alex up into his arms, earning a surprised yelp from the smaller man. Aaron tilted his head up to kiss him again, relishing in the warmth of Alex's body.

“Hard to believe we’ve been together for a full year, huh?” Aaron said when he finally pulled away and Alex hummed in agreement.

“Yeah, it’s hard to believe anyone would put up with me for a full year.” 

“Guess it just takes a certain type.” Aaron smiled before leaning up and kissing him again. His mouth wasn't even on Alex’s for a second, when Alex pulled away, squirming his way out of Aaron's grip. 

“I have a surprise for you.” Alex whispered, tapping Aaron's nose lovingly. “You have to close your eyes though.”

“Alex I-”

“C’mon, close ‘em!”

Aaron rolled his eyes but closed them anyway, letting Alex grab his hands and pull him through the dorm. “No peeking!” Alex stopped him then, placing his hands on his shoulders to keep him from moving. 

“Can I open my eyes now?”

“Not yet!”

Aaron was about to protest, but then Alex's lips were on his, kissing him roughly and biting down on his lower lip. Aaron groaned softly before cupping Alex’s face with his hands, coaxing his mouth open with his tongue. Alex obliged quickly, opening his mouth and wrapping his arms around Aaron's waist, his hands slowly trailing lower and lower down his back. Alex pulled away suddenly, much to his boyfriend's disappointment, panting into Aaron's open mouth.

“Mm, that was nice.” Aaron chuckled, feeling Alex smile against his lips. 

“That wasn't the surprise, I just got distracted.”

“I'm not complaining, can I open my eyes now?”

“Yeah! Yeah, sorry.” 

The first thing Aaron noticed were the Christmas lights. They were strung up all around the room, above their bed, wrapped around the bedposts and the legs of the night table. They filled the room with a warm, festive, multicolored glow, and they made Aaron feel strangely at home.

“Do you like it?” Alex asked nervously, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I just- I saw how happy you were during Christmas, and I wanted you to be that happy all the time, so I-I...oh god, is it too weird? I can take it down if you want, it is a little weird I guess isn't it, I'm sorry-”

Aaron leaned down to press his lips against Alex’s, trying to convey all the affection he was feeling in that kiss. When he pulled away, he placed another heartfelt kiss to Alex's cheek before resting their foreheads together. 

“I love it. Thank you so much.”

“I also tried to make us dinner.” Alex smiled, obviously relieved. “But I think I burned it, so I just got us takeout instead.”

Aaron allowed Alex to pull him over to the bed, cuddling up into Aaron's side. Alex reached over and grabbed two coffee mugs from the side table and handed one to Aaron.

“Coffee?” Aaron asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It's supposed to be symbolic.” Alex explained, then, once Aaron continued to stare at him, he elaborated. “Do you remember when we first met? And you offered to buy me a coffee?” Aaron smiled and nodded. “Well it's supposed to represent the first drink we shared. You know, to reflect where we are now? Oh- and get this,” Alex scrabbled across the bed to grab the Chinese takeout in its plastic container. “I got the takeout from the place where we had our first date! Kinda cool, right?” 

“Remind me again how I got so lucky with you?” Aaron asked seriously, unable to keep the smile off his face. _God_ , was he in love. Alex looked down bashfully, and Aaron placed a hand under his chin and tilted his head back up. He proceeded to place little kisses all over Alex's face and neck, and even his collarbones, anywhere he could reach. He peppered his skin with feather light kisses, earning high pitched giggles from his boyfriend. 

For the next twenty minutes they sat together eating their takeout, talking and laughing, and Alex even convinced Aaron to do an impression of Charles Lee, which was definitely something he won't forget for a long time. It was only when Alex was curled up against Aaron's side, arm draped across his waist, Aaron's hand tracing patterns lazily across Alex’s back, that he realized he nearly forgot something.

“Shit!” Alex sat up suddenly, prompting Aaron to look up at him in shock. “I almost forgot your present!”

“Alex! I thought we agreed no presents!” Aaron pouted, furrowing his brow in a way Alex found inexplicably cute. Alex started to get up, but Aaron grabbed him, unwilling to let go of him for a second.

“I know, but I just couldn't help myself.” With that Alex was running out the room. Aaron sat up with a huff. He had been hoping they would have just fallen asleep together and called it a night, but as usual, Alex had different ideas. 

“Close your eyes again!” Alex called from just outside the room.

_“Alex.”_

“Come on Aaron, don't be a grump, just close your eyes!”

Aaron sighed but closed his eyes anyway. A second later, the mattress shifted underneath him.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

Alex was sitting excitedly in front of him, holding a small chest in his lap. On the lid of the chest, there was a piece of paper taped down that read _101 Reasons I Love Aaron Burr_ in bold script. Aaron looked up at Alex, trying to keep the grin off his face.

“Alexander, what is this?”

“Open it.” Alex whispered, practically bouncing.  
Aaron took a deep breath and unlatched the chest, glancing up at Alex again before opening the box. Inside were countless tiny, white envelopes, _101_ tiny white envelopes to be exact.

“Oh my god, Alex, you did not.”

“I did! Come on, read one.”

Aaron shook his head once more before taking one of the envelopes and opening it up. Inside was a little slip of paper with small writing on it. 

_He always knows what to say_

Aaron laughed a little bit before looking back up at his boyfriend, who was smiling himself.

“Katherine helped me come up with the idea. You can open more if you want.”

Aaron didn't need to be told twice. As he went through more and more of the little sentiments, he realized some of them were sweet and sincere like;

_He takes of me even though I'm a major pain in the ass_

While others were completely ridiculous like;

_He has a really nice ass ;)_

Aaron didn't want to read through all of them now, he wanted to save each one, so after reading through about ten he put them back in the box. He was about to close the chest when something caught his eye, a larger white envelope taped to the inside of the lid.

“What's this?” He asked, pointing the letter out to Alex. 

“Oh, that one's an in case of emergency letter.” Alex replied, then, when Aaron continued to look confused, he explained. “That's the letter you're supposed to read if you've kicked me out for fucking up really badly. Either that or if I've died.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow.

“I know, I know, you don't like me talking about death because then I start thinking too much and I get a little depressed I'm sorry, but I just had to.”

Aaron smiled at him before pushing the chest off to the side and pulling Alex into his arms. “Well maybe if you don't fuck up and be safe, I won't have to read the letter.”

Alex laughed a little before leaning up and kissing Aaron so sweetly that it made him almost want to cry. Aaron pulled him down onto the bed again, letting Alex curl back up against his side as he sighed contentedly. After a couple minutes of blissful silence, Aaron's hand combing absentmindedly through his boyfriend's hair, Alex looked up at him.

“Happy Anniversary, babe.”

“Happy Anniversary. You know I love you, right?” Aaron said, reaching down to pull Alex forward, and Alex reciprocated quickly, throwing his legs over Aaron's hips, straddling him. Alex only hesitated a second before rolling his hips down, smirking when Aaron's hands tightened on his hips

“Yeah, I know. Who wouldn't, right?”

Aaron rolled his eyes and started to move Alex off of him.

“I'm kidding!” Alex laughed, pushing his boyfriend back down into the bed. “I love you too.” He smiled before leaning down to kiss him roughly, running his tongue over his bottom lip. Aaron's hands moved lower down his back until they found his ass as Alex ground his hips down again, causing them both to breathe a little heavier.

The extra caffeine from the coffee was put to good use that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you to never forget how you felt reading this chapter  
> Remember it  
> Because it's gonna end soon


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *inhales sharply* yikes

It was at the end of Alex's latest debate meeting when it happened.

He was packing up his notebooks and binders when someone cleared their throat behind him. He turned and looked up at Jefferson, a wide smirk on his face. Madison was standing a couple feet away, arms crossed, emotionless. 

_“Jefferson.”_ Alex snarled with as much disgust as we could convey.

“Hamilton.” Jefferson responded in the same tone. “I think we have something to discuss with you.” Jefferson nodded to his boyfriend. What the hell were they going on about now?

“If this is about me winning that debate, then I don't want to hear your damn whining.” Alex snorted in annoyance before turning around to throw his bag over his shoulder. Jefferson glanced over at Madison, then made sure Washington had left the room before continuing.

“Tell me, Hamilton, what makes Miss Maria Reynolds so fond of you?”

Hamilton's heart stopped. He stared wide eyed at the table, trying to comprehend what he had just heard. Maria Reynolds. Oh _fuck_. How the hell had Jefferson found out? He'd hid the letter James had sent him, and they'd made a deal that as long as Alex kept paying him, everything that had happened would be a secret. Hamilton swallowed nervously, his throat feeling suddenly dry. 

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Hamilton lied after a brief moment of tense silence, and failed miserably. Jefferson rolled his eyes, sighing audibly.

“Look Hamilton, all three of us know you blackmailed the girl into helping start up your Migrant Students club, and that you gave James Reynolds a position in the club in exchange for their support. You being difficult about it won't make anything easier.” Jefferson said, sitting down on the table, fixing Alex with a condescending glare. Something similar to relief flooded through Alex. So Jefferson didn't know. Alex smirked, and then laughed, half out of relief, half out of utter amusement.

“You don't even know what you're asking me to confess, do you?” 

Jefferson and Madison shared a confused glance.

“Confess?” Madison repeated, and Alex sneered. 

“You have nothing on me, I don't have to tell you anything at all.” With that, Alex turned on his heel and was about to walk out, when something hit him. What if Jefferson and Madison exposed him? What if they went to Washington about him supposedly blackmailing Maria and giving James the position in the club? Hell, what was stopping them from telling the entire campus? They both despised him, and even if it wasn't really what had happened it would still hurt his reputation.

_Hell no._ He'd worked too damn hard to get where he was, to get those clubs funded and supported. Too many sleepless nights refusing to go to bed with Aaron in favor of staying up to write out plans for the clubs. He'd worked too hard to earn the respect of his fellow students and his professors. He was not going to let Thomas Jefferson take that away from him

“Unless...” Alex started, turning back around halfway. Jefferson and Madison simultaneously looked up at him. “If I can prove to you that I didn't do the things you accused me of, do you promise not to tell anyone about what really happened?”

The two shared suspicious, uncertain glances, as if suddenly unsure if they really wanted to know the truth. 

“Uh, yes?” Jefferson responded finally, more of a question than anything else. Alex sighed, glancing over his shoulder to make sure they were still alone, then he walked back over to them and opened his bag. He pulled the letter from James Reynolds out of its small pocket and stared at it. God knows why he kept it instead of tearing it to shreds. Maybe it was supposed to be a reminder, a reminder of what happened when Alexander Hamilton was stressed, sleep deprived and lonely. He handed the already opened envelope to Madison and Jefferson, and they both reached for it at the same time. Madison grabbed it first, earning a slightly annoyed glance from his boyfriend. He pulled the letter out, unfolded it, and with another suspicious look at Alexander, he began to read.

“Dear Mr Hamilton,  
I do hope this letter finds you in good health. Maybe even in a prosperous enough position to line the pockets of men like me, who are down on their luck, because it seems that was my woman you decided to-”

_“What.”_ Jefferson interrupted before Madison could continue, eyes wide as he re-read the last line. Madison's jaw had dropped and he looked up at Alex, speechless.

“It happened over spring break. When Aaron was visiting his sister in New York. It was late, I hadn't slept in a week, I was stressed out. I barely remember it, but James threatened to tell if I didn't pay him.” Alex crossed his arms over his chest. “But I did not force Maria to support the club, she did it of her own free will, I had nothing to do with it. You wanted to know the truth, and there you have it. Are you happy?”

“My god.” Jefferson quipped after a couple beats of silence, still shocked. It was then that Alex noticed Madison wasn't staring at him speechless like he had been before. There was something akin to hatred in his eyes, and whatever it was it was making Alex very uncomfortable. 

“You did _what?”_ His voice was dripping with contempt, an emotion Alex had never seen or heard from Madison ever. Even when Alex insulted his boyfriend, Madison rarely showed anything as powerful and menacing as the look he was receiving now. 

“I regret what I did, okay? It was a big mistake, I own that, nothing will come out of it that will make you look bad, calm down.” Alex hadn't meant to be that rude, but it had come out that way anyway.

“You can't just call this a mistake, Hamilton! You _slept_ with her! What the fuck is wrong with you? Does Aaron know?” 

That sent a bolt of panic through Alex, and he waved his hands frantically. Aaron couldn't know about this. He _couldn't_. “No! No, do not tell Aaron, please, he doesn't-”

James’ fist flew into the side of Alex's jaw so quick and so fast that it made him see stars. He stumbled back, reaching out and grabbing the table to steady himself. 

“That's all you have to fucking say for yourself? You cheated on your boyfriend, one of my _best friends_ , and you want me to cover up your mistake? You pathetic, lying piece of shit.” 

Jefferson, looking just as shocked as Alex was, put a hand on James’ shoulder, trying to calm him down, but James only flinched away from him, sending him a warning glare. 

“I'm not going to tell Aaron.” James hissed finally, making Alex look up at him. “I won't tell him because all of this is _your_ fault. This is your mess to clean up. And you better come clean to him right the fuck now, because he deserves better than someone like you. He didn't deserve to be treated like this. He's better than you in every way possible.” 

Alex looked down to the ground, unable to bare the hate filled glare he was receiving from the previously emotionless James Madison.

“I can only pray that after you come clean, he'll leave your sorry ass for someone better. Someone who might deserve someone as great as him.”

James stared Alex down for another few seconds before snorting and rolling his eyes, tossing the letter onto the ground and heading for the door, not bothering to look back.

“Thomas, lets go.”

 

Alex stood for a good five minutes outside of their dorm room, deciding whether or not he wanted to go in. He desperately wanted a drink right now, but if he went out, there was no telling when he'd be back, and that was even worse than coming home with a bruise on the side of his face. What would he say? _‘Sorry babe but your best friend punched me in the face because he found out I've been cheating on you’._ Dammit, he wasn't prepared for this.

He slid the key into the lock and turned it, knowing there was no going back now. Aaron was in the kitchenette, back towards the door, probably making the two of them dinner, something comfortingly domestic that Alex had never really appreciated until now. 

“Hey.”

“Hey! How was the-...oh god, Alex, what happened?” Aaron immediately noticed the growing bruise on the side of his boyfriend's face. Alex only shrugged, smiling painfully.

“The usual.”

Aaron sighed, taking Alex's hands and kissing his forehead sweetly, before leading him down the hall to the bathroom. Another thing that Alex was just now noticing that he loved about Aaron. What was that saying again? You never really appreciate something until you couldn't have it? Alex had always thought that was a dumb saying, but he understood it now. 

Aaron ran a washrag under the cold water of the faucet, looking up at Alex sadly. “Was it Jefferson again? What were you two fighting about his time?” He placed the cold rag gently against the side of Alex’s face and stroked his cheek comfortingly. 

“Ha, no actually, it...it was Madison this time.”

“James did this?” Aaron asked, surprised. He looked at the bruise on Alex's cheek before looking back at him, and Alex thought he saw something like anger pass on his features, but then it turned to confusion. “James doesn't ever get violent like this. What did you do?”

Alex looked up at him, into Aaron's eyes. His Aaron. What was he supposed to say? Would he tell him the honest truth? James’ words echoed in his head, _“You better come clean to him, right the fuck now.”_ and a wave of guilt crashed down on him. He could already see the way Aaron's expression would change if he told him. He'd be confused, then sad, then angry, then all three at once. Alex wouldn't be able to bear it. He only ever wanted to see him happy, really. He couldn't tell him. He _couldn't_. Not yet at least

“Alex, love, you're scaring me, what happened?” Aaron's concerned voice snapped Alex out of his thoughts, and he realized he had been staring at him for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“Sorry, I just-” Alex laughed, shaking his head and looking down at the ground. “I was just talking shit about Jefferson and...and I guess Madison just had enough.” Alex knew he was lying through his teeth, and he hated it, praying Aaron wouldn't press the topic further. He didn't.

“Well, I guess you learned your lesson this time, huh?” Aaron asked, raising an eyebrow, but Alex could tell he was joking. Alex never learned.

 

Three o'clock in the morning, and Alex couldn't sleep. His mind was buzzing with too many thoughts. Guilt was eating away at him, making his stomach churn, the same feeling he got when he was about to throw up. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he had no words to describe what he was feeling. He'd never felt something as bad as this before.

His arm was draped across Aaron's waist, tracing lazy patterns across the muscles of his sleeping boyfriend's bare stomach. He listened intently to the sound of his gentle snores, trying to sync their breathing, but Alex’s chest seemed too heavy. It was as if the air had suddenly grown thicker than it ever had been, or maybe it was the cold, dead weight that seemed to have taken the place of Alex's heart. His arm tightened slightly around Aaron, and he wanted to freeze this moment in time, he wanted to stay here next to him forever, peaceful and silent, where nothing could go wrong.

This was the eye of the hurricane. The calm before the storm. Maybe that's why the air seemed so heavy, as a premonition of what was about to come. It was quiet here, slow here, for just a moment. Here, Aaron and Alexander were inseparable, twin heartbeats beating as one. In this moment, the affair with Maria had never happened. Alex had said no, he'd made the right choice. In this moment, in the dark of the night, silent and still, everything seemed alright.

Everyday he wondered why he was here. He should have died a long time ago. When his mother got sick, when the hurricane destroyed his town, when he got stabbed in the countless drunken fist fights, when he'd overdosed on caffeine. Yet he was still here, still alive and kicking. _Why?_ What was keeping him here? 

Ever since he was young, Alexander Hamilton always had too much to say. There were always thoughts in his mind, ideas he needed to share. He used that gift to _write his way out._ He'd _written_ his way out of hell, he'd _written_ his way to Princeton, he'd _written_ about the clubs he created and defended them too. When his prayers to the so called “God” up there were met with silence and disinterest, Alex had picked up a pen and wrote his own damn deliverance.

Then it hit him. _That was the answer._ That's what he could do. He could write his way out again, write to defend his reputation, his legacy. He peeled his arm gently away from his boyfriend, careful not to wake him. This was nothing Aaron needed to know about for the time being. He'd write to the entire campus, everyone. He’d stain his sleeves with truth, he would come clean. He would overwhelm them with honesty. Drown them all in his words, in his paragraphs.

Throwing the covers off of himself, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, his heart pounding in his chest. The air didn't seem thick anymore, in fact, it seemed horrible sparse, like the air in his room was the only air left in the world. Before getting up, he looked back over his shoulder at Aaron. The moonlight that had managed to slip its way past the closed blinds of the window played shadows across his face, making him look even more serene and peaceful. Funny how Aaron always seemed to make things quieter when he was around Alex, like the entire rest of the world didn't matter. Alex smiled to himself. He _loved_ him, there was no doubt in his mind about that. He just had to fix things first. Leaning back over, he placed a gentle kiss to the side of Aaron's face, and something like dread rose up in the pit of his stomach and told him that would be the last time he'd get to see Aaron like this.

Alex got up and walked to his office, electricity buzzing in his veins. It was the same electricity that was buzzing through the air now, making it feel even more like the calm before the storm. He sat down at his laptop and opened it up, barely blinking in the bright light of the screen. He logged onto the Princeton College News website, hit the _upload new article_ button and only hesitated a second before beginning to write.

**The Reynolds Pamphlet|**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit  
> I done diddly darn did it didn't I  
> Y'all know what's gonna happen next


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy  
> Y'all know what's coming

The lunch hall was always pretty busy, but Aaron didn't think he'd ever seen it like this. Almost every single table was occupied, and it took him about fifteen minutes to finally find a deserted table by the window. He was trying to focus on his schoolwork, but the noisy cafeteria combined with his boyfriends strange behavior last night were keeping him from getting it done. There was something Alex wasn't telling him, that was for sure, but Aaron didn't want to push him and make him uncomfortable. So he just dismissed it. 

Katherine also wouldn't stop texting him about a really cute girl she had seen in her dorm building, and she was insistently asking Aaron for flirting advice. Aaron had texted back, telling her to just talk to her, but Kath had ignored his advice, saying it was much more complicated than that. She claimed she didn't have Aaron's naturally charming looks, which made him snort, and that she was the most awkward and clumsy person around new people. And if Aaron was going to be honest, that was completely true. He'd met Katherine when she wasn't looking where she was going, and spilled coffee all over his shirt, and he had proceeded to watch as she stuttered out an apology, tripping over her words and flushing horribly. 

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room had changed. The air felt very heavy, and Aaron got the feeling that he was being stared at. He turned, and found is assumptions correct. Two girls at the table across from him had fixed their eyes on him, but as soon as he turned they averted their gazes. _Weird._. He dismissed it, but soon he noticed other people giving him the same look, an almost pitying look. What had happened?

“Telling by your expression, you haven't read it yet, have you?” 

Aaron looked up at Jefferson, who was smirking with his arms folded. Great. This had something to do with Alexander, didn't it. Jefferson handed his phone to Aaron, and there was something pulled up on the phone. After closer inspection, he realized it was an article written by Alexander, that was a bad sign. 

“Go ahead. Read it.” Jefferson prompted, the same sickening smirk on his face. Aaron grabbed the phone, took a deep breath and started to read.

**[The Reynolds Pamphlet]**

_A few days ago, I was approached and accused of blackmailing Miss Maria Reynolds into funding the Migrant Students club. I was also accused of making a deal with her boyfriend, James, that stated if they were to continue with their support for the club, I would give James a position in the club which he had no right to. These rumors, however are all false._

_My real crime is that I have been involved in a romantic affair with Maria Reynolds, for a considerable time, with James' knowing consent._

Aaron read the last sentence over and over again, the breath knocked out of him. His hands were starting to shake. No. That couldn't be true. Alexander couldn't have slept with Maria. He _wouldn't._

Would he?

_The affair began over spring break, when I first met Maria. I had frequent meetings with her, most of which took place in my own dorm. My boyfriend, Aaron Burr, being absent on a visit to his sister's house in upstate New York._

Aaron began to feel sick.

_It was then that Maria revealed to me that her relationship with James is anything but a happy one. He abuses her both physically and mentally, yet she fears trying to leave him. The affair continued from there, and though the affair was still active while Maria agreed to help fund the Women's Rights club, she made the choice of her own freewill; I did not blackmail her into the decision._

No. This couldn't be true. _His_ Alexander wouldn't do that to him. _His_ Alexander made random speeches about how much he loved him. _His_ Alexander slept with his arms wrapped around Aaron's waist each night. Alexander was _his._

_'You said you were mine.'_

_'I thought you were mine'_

His Alexander was never satisfied.

_'He doesn't care. He never did.'_

The thought flew into Aaron's head and stuck there. Hamilton never cared about him. To him, Aaron was just another person to fuck. For fourteen months, Aaron had created a delusion in his mind that he meant something to Hamilton. For fourteen months, Aaron had believed Hamilton belonged to him. 

Aaron had fallen.

He'd fallen so hard and so long that now it hurt when he tried to stand back up.

The phone fell from Aaron's shaking hands and clattered onto the table. Jefferson took the phone back, clicking it off and shoving it in his back pocket. Something in his expression changed when he saw Aaron's expression.

“Wait. You didn't actually think Hamilton _cared_ about you, did you?” 

When Aaron continued to stare blankly ahead, Jefferson continued. 

“Burr, Hamilton only cares about himself. He's only ever cared about himself. You of all people should have known that.”

Aaron looked up at him then, studying Jefferson's face. _‘You're an idiot.’_ His expression seemed to say. _‘Why the hell would he ever care about you? Did you really think you meant something to him? Poor, pitiful fool.’_

“Thomas.” 

It was James. He was staring intensely at his boyfriend, questioning him. Aaron thought he saw Jefferson flinch under James’ glare, but then James had turned to him, his expression softer, more pitying than Jefferson's.

“Aaron,” he started, then seemed to be lost for words. Aaron had to leave. He had to get out of there now. He could already feel a breakdown forming inside of him, but that couldn't happen here. Not in front of all these people. Aaron got up quickly, making the two of them flinch simultaneously, and grabbed his schoolbag. 

“Aaron, wait. I have to talk to you.” James tried to grab his wrist, but Aaron pulled it away. When he turned back to him, Aaron felt angry and sad and confused, all at once.

“You knew.” He said, his voice shaking, and he saw the hurt that flashed across James’ features. “You knew, and you didn't tell me. What the hell kind of friend or you supposed to be?”

“Aaron, please, I-”

“No.” Aaron's voice cracked, and he felt the alarm rise through him. Not here. “Leave me alone, please.” 

Without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and walked briskly to the exit of the dining hall. He could still feel the eyes of all the students on him, the eyes of the entire campus. He understood the looks now, the stares the two girls had given him. They were all pitying him, practically laughing at him, because he was dumb enough to let his boyfriend cheat on him. They all knew. They knew about Alex sleeping with Maria, in their own goddamn bed. They knew how it had continued even after Aaron had come home. They knew how painfully oblivious Aaron had been to the whole thing, too blinded by love and trust that he didn't pay enough attention. They all knew.

Because Alexander had told them.

He'd written a 98 page article on how he'd been sleeping with some girl behind his boyfriend's back. He'd written a 98 page article on how stupidly oblivious his boyfriend was. He'd written a 98 page article to the entire campus. And for what? His precious legacy? _‘Fuck your legacy.’_ Aaron thought bitterly. _‘Fuck you.’_

He was no longer known as the Prodigy of Princeton. He was now known as the Prodigy who got cheated on and then exposed. The Prodigy who fell too hard for the wrong person. What had Katherine said when Aaron told her Alex and him were dating?

_"Aaron, you know I just want you to be happy. But I'm warning you right now, Alex is one of those people who will do what it takes to survive. Please be careful, I'd hate to see you get hurt."_

He should have listened to her. She was always insanely good at reading people. Even though she'd only met Alex twice at the time, she could read him and know he was dangerous. Why hadn't Aaron trusted her? Why hadn't he listened?

Before he knew it he was at his dorm room, throwing the door open and then slamming it shut behind him. Alex wasn't back yet. Thank god. He threw his schoolbag onto the ground and walked into their bedroom. Then he stopped and at the bed. Their bed. The very same bed Alexander and Maria had…

Aaron felt sick. He ran into the bathroom and dry heaved into the toilet, but nothing came up. That's when he sat down on the floor, back to the wall, head tilted up at the ceiling. Then he started to cry. He buried his head in his knees, and sobbed. Was he sobbing because he hated Alex, or because he hated himself? Fuck, if he knew. He cried into his knees until there was nothing left to cry out, until all the built up emotion had drained away, and he was left with just a strange, blank, emptiness. 

He faintly registered hearing the door open, but didn't move from his spot on the floor. He faintly registered Alex stopping to stand in the doorway, before making his way slowly to sit on the floor next to him. He did, however, register Alex reaching a hand out to stroke his cheek. 

“Aaron, babe, are you alright?”

What the fuck. What the _fuck._ What the _shitting fuck_ kind of question was that. Aaron swatted his hand away and glared at him, standing up quickly, not wanting to be in the same room as him. 

“ _Don't_ touch me.” He hissed, not bothering to look back at Alex.

“Aaron, wait, please. I can explain!”

_Explain._ Aaron didn't want to hear him try to explain. He'd read enough of his pathetic attempt at explaining. Alex grabbed his wrist tight and pulled Aaron towards him.

“Aaron, baby, please, let me explain.”

“Do not call me that.” Aaron yanked his hand away, not caring about the hurt that flashed in Alex's eyes. If Alex never cared, why should he? “I don't want to hear your excuses. I just read enough of your pathetic excuses to last a lifetime, Hamilton.”

Alex flinched. Ever since Aaron and him had started dating, Aaron had never called him by his last name.

“I….I was just trying to be honest.” Alex whispered, shoving his hands in his pockets. Aaron narrowed his eyes at him, scowling.

“Honest.” He repeated slowly, his anger starting to rise. “Well, you certainly were honest, now weren't you.” Aaron laughed bitterly, then pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, trying to compose himself. “I thought you cared, Hamilton. I thought you cared about me. You said you cared, you said you _loved me!_ ” 

“Aaron, of course I love you!” Alex reached up to cradle his face, and Aaron clenched his fists, his nails digging into the skin of his palm. “I love you so damn much, you are my everything, I-I'm so sorry about everything.” Alex smiled up at him hopefully, stroking Aaron's cheek with his thumb. Aaron's face grew dark.

_“Liar.”_

Alex let out a quiet dull gasp, his hands faltering on Aaron's face. His face was hurt, and he opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find the right words. Aaron grabbed Alex's hands and threw them down against Alex's chest, resisting the urge to shove him backwards, away from him.

“You don't care about me. You never did. You only care about yourself, you've only ever cared about yourself. So don't lie to my face, you cheating _bastard_.”

Aaron pushed past Alex, ignoring the tears forming in his eyes. He just didn't care anymore, he didn't care if he hurt Alex, it was clear Alex hadn't cared when he hurt Aaron. Aaron grabbed a duffle bag from the closet before throwing open the dresser and began carelessly throwing clothes into it, ignoring Alex's desperate pleas to stop and think about what he was doing. Aaron rolled his eyes and shook his head, throwing his duffle bag over his shoulder. 

“Aaron, please, I- where are you going?” Alex panicked as Aaron shoved past him out of the bedroom.

“I don't care.” Aaron replied, his voice emotionless. “Away from you.”

“No! Aaron, please, _please_ , don't leave.” Alex was crying now, tears running down his face. “I'm _so_ sorry, please, I- don't leave, we- Aaron, please. I never meant to hurt you, I swear!” Aaron ignored him, grabbing his schoolbag and reaching for the door handle. That's when Alex grabbed his arm tightly, pulling him back. Aaron turned back to him angrily.

“Please, you can't leave, I _need_ you, I-I can't do this without you, Aaron I-...please, _stay with me_.”

Alex was full on crying now, his eyes wide and pleading. But those eyes didn't have the same effect they had on him before. He didn't feel willed to stay by looking into them, if anything, they compelled him to leave. And Alex's touch, his hand on his wrist, didn’t have the same feeling it did before. It still burned, like it always did when Alex touched him, but it was a different burn now. It didn't feel warm, it didn't feel comforting. It felt like it was _killing him_. Like it was eating away at Aaron's skin. He didn’t want to feel that burn ever again, so he pulled his hand away.

_He wanted Alexander to burn._

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you cheated.” 

This time, he _did_ shove Alex backwards, just to get him away. With that, Aaron was out the door, slamming it in Alex's face behind him. Alex stared at the closed door for a long time, the tears still rolling down his face. He took a deep shuddering breath, running his hand over his face. He hoped that all of this was a dream, that Aaron would come back through the door and forgive him.

But Aaron hated him now. 

The door stayed shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what about that Super Bowl huh  
> I know I know I'm a bad person come yell at me in the comments  
> Edit: OH GOD YOU GUYS I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT WAS AARONS BIRTHDAY UNTIL SOMEONE IN THE COMMENTS POINTED IT OUT OH NO IM SO SORRY  
> happy Birthday dude ???? :')


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff will come my children  
> In the meantime, more angst
> 
> And my friend also pointed out that y'all might be scared that Kath might pose a threat to their relationship but don't worry Hamburr is my life my soul my baby and I wouldn't do that
> 
> Kath is actually an original character from an independent story I've been working on that I put in here as a joke but she's somehow worked her way into the plot so hey lmao

Aaron didn't remember much after the fight with Alexander. He didn't remember driving the thirty minutes over to Katherine's dorm. He didn't remember passing out from emotional and mental exhaustion on her couch until the morning after. It was a Saturday, meaning Aaron didn't have any classes, thank god. When he first woke up, it took him a second to figure out where he was and why Alex's arms weren't wrapped around him, a feeling he wasn't used too. Then it all came back crashing down on him, and he wanted to fall back asleep. Alex had cheated. And then published an article detailing the entire thing, putting Aaron in the spotlight, which was the one place he hated to be. He groaned, pulling the blanket over his head, trying desperately to fall back asleep.

“Morning.” Kath called from her seat on the counter, where she was eating a bowl of lucky charms. “How you feeling today?” She called again, forcing Aaron to communicate. She sounded sarcastic but Aaron knew she was being sincere. 

“I'm feeling fine.” He growled, looking up at her.

“Wow. You are just a little ray of sunshine, aren't you?” She said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. It was true, Aaron hated mornings until he had some coffee in his system. Alex had always found it extremely hilarious. _‘Stop thinking about him.’_ He scolded himself miserably. 

“Listen, I've got community theatre from ten till four, so unless you want to come and watch, you're gonna be here alone for a while.”

“You can go. I'll survive on my own.” He tried to sound nonchalant about it, but truthfully, he just needed to be alone for a while. Kath sensed this and excused herself to go get ready, leaving Aaron and his thoughts alone. After a second of staring at the ceiling, he grabbed his phone from the coffee table and turned it on. 20 missed calls and 13 text messages. Shit. 

He scrolled through his voicemail, finding several missed calls from Peggy, and even his sister, a few from Alexander himself, a few from James, and even a couple from all three of Alexander’s friends. Next he looked through his messages, which was an entirely different experience. 

Message from: **Sista Sally <3**  
Sent: Friday, 6:11 pm  
_Hey I heard about what happened with Alex. Peggy told me._

Message from: **Sista Sally <3**  
Sent: Friday, 6:13 pm  
_Do you want me to beat him up for you baby bro? ;)_

Message from: **Sista Sally <3**  
Sent: Friday, 6:17 pm  
_Please pick up your phone Aaron_

 

Message from: **AndPeggy**  
Sent: Friday, 2:20 pm  
_Aaron please answer your phone_

Message from: **AndPeggy**  
Sent: Friday, 2:24 pm  
_I'm so sorry about what happened but I really think you should talk about it_

 

Message from: **Bae.Ham <3 ;)**  
Sent: Friday, 3:06 pm  
_Please answer your phone_

Message from: **Bae.Ham <3 ;)**  
Sent: Friday, 3:09 pm  
_I'm so sorry, Aaron I'm so sorry, please I need to talk to you_

Message from: **Bae.Ham <3 ;)**  
Error: Message not received  
_It's too late to say I'm sorry, isn't it? If it's too late for apologies then please just let me explain. I know it's the last thing you want to hear from me, but you need to hear it in person_

Message from: **Bae.Ham <3 ;)**  
Sent: Friday, 11:56 pm  
_Please_

 

Aaron turned his phone off and set it back on the table, not bothering to look through the rest of the messages. He didn't want to look at them right now. He was glad when Katherine left, enjoying the quiet of the dorm. It was quiet in her dorm building, a big contrast from his own dorm. He liked it.

As much as he liked the quiet, it gave him too much time to think. His mind was wandering too far, and before he knew it, he wanted to cry again. His mind had wandered back to his boyfriend, well, Alex was his ex now, wasn't he? His mind wandered back to what had happened, to the article. But for some reason, he wasn't mad at Alex. He was mad at himself. 

He was mad at himself for letting his guard down. He was mad for not suspecting something was up when Alex came home with a black eye. He was mad for not asking James himself why he'd punched him, instead of relying on Alexander. He pulled the blanket back over his head, trying to suffocate his thoughts in the thick fabric.

But they kept coming.

 

If Alex thought the guilt was bad, nothing, and he meant _nothing_ , could compare to what he was feeling right now. 

He knew it hadn't even been twenty-four hours since Aaron had left, but he hadn't slept any of those twenty-four hours, and each sixty minutes seemed to last a goddamn lifetime. After Aaron had slammed the door and left, Alex had completely lost his shit. He'd broken down and sobbed himself sick, finally forcing himself to stop when he felt a migraine forming behind his eyes. 

After that, Alex did the only thing he could. He worked. He worked long and hard, only stopping momentarily to use the bathroom. There was really nothing else to do. He had tried sleeping, but the bed felt too cold without Aaron's body in it, and Alex couldn't fall asleep without his arms around him. So he worked to keep his mind off of what had happened, to keep his mind off of Aaron, and how much he had hurt him. The last thing he ever wanted was to hurt him. He loved him, for god's sake. But now Aaron thought he didn't love him, that he never did, and that hurt Alex more than words could tell. 

He had tried to reach out to him, he'd called him several times, and texted him a couple of times, but gave up when his efforts were met with silence. It was clear Aaron didn't want to talk to him. He'd gotten a few calls himself, all of which from his friends, but the last he wanted to do right now was talk about his feelings. He'd never been good at that, except with Aaron. He'd never been good at letting people into his life, but things had been different with Aaron. Aaron had made Alex feel safe, like Alex was enough. Deep down, Alex knew he was enough for Aaron.

He just wished Aaron had been enough for him.

Well, actually, Aaron had been enough. He'd been more than enough for Alex. Which made it even more confusing as to why he did what he did with Maria. He was lonely, and stressed, and those things didn't mix well, especially when it came to Alexander Hamilton, the kid who'd never be satisfied. 

For the first time ever, Alexander had prayed. He'd prayed to whatever god was watching over him to give him the strength he needed to get through this. He'd prayed and hoped and worked. That's all he could do. Before he knew it, Alex was crying. He hated crying. It made him feel weak. He wiped quickly at his eyes, trying to refocus on his laptop screen, but the tears kept falling, faster and heavier. 

Alex grabbed his pillow and screamed into it until his throat burned.

 

“Guess who's got bubble tea?” Kath’s too cheery voice broke through the invisible wall Aaron had built around himself. He looked up at her from the book he was reading, the one he carried around in his schoolbag all the time. She had a backpack slung over one shoulder, carrying a tray of bubble tea in one hand, using her other one to push her thick lenses glasses up on her nose.

“I'm guessing Kath.”

“Well, you'd guess correct, my friend.” She chirped, slinging her backpack onto the floor and handing Aaron his bubble tea. For the next hour or so, Kath forced him to watch some of her favorite reality tv shows, all the while Kath was throwing snarky comments at the people on tv, as if they might hear her.

“Oh my god, this girl’s trying to start a fight! Look at her!”

“Oh god, get this bitch out of here, puh-lease!”

“Sweet Jesus, Aaron, please tell me you're watching this. This girl is going to get her ass whooped for that.”

Aaron knew she was trying to distract him from his thoughts, and even though he appreciated her efforts, he knew it wouldn’t work. All he could think about was Alexander, and how not mad he was at him. Although he refused to believe that he missed him. He couldn’t miss him. It hadn't even been a full twenty four hours yet. Yet he couldn’t get his face out of his mind, he couldn't get the feel of his hands on Aaron's body off his skin. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't forget him. 

“You miss him, don't you?” 

Kath’s knowing voice snapped him from his thoughts, and he looked over at her. Ah, yes, her insanely good people-reading skills were kicking in again. Damn, he hated that.

“No. I do not miss him.” Aaron replied, trying to act casual but failing miserably. 

“It's okay to miss him, you know.”

“No, it's not. It is not okay to miss him. Not yet.” Aaron snapped, glaring at her. “But it doesn't matter anyway, because I don't miss him.” 

Kath was silent after that, thankfully. It was short lived though, not even a full minute had passed before she started reading him again.

“I know you're in pain, but maybe it would be best if you just talked to him.” She prodded gently, and Aaron could feel his resolve slipping. He did not want to talk about this with her. “Believe it or not, he loves you Aaron, he sure has a weird way of showing it but I can tell-”

“Bullshit. Like hell he loves me.” Aaron scowled, half at himself and half at her. “If he loved me, then why did he cheat on me? Why did he sleep with someone else?”

“People do stupid shit when they're in love Aaron, which is why you should talk to him. You need to hear his side of the story, you need to hear his reasons for-”

“What the hell would you know about _love_ , Katherine? The longest relationship you've ever been in lasted no more than a month.” The words came out before Aaron could stop them, and the hurt flashed across her face for less than a second before it was gone. “Sorry.” He apologized after a beat of silence, looking away from her. “I didn't mean that.”

“It's fine. Nothing I haven't heard before.” She smiled at him, but Aaron could see through it. He knew she hated being known as _that girl._ The girl who'd gone through five spouses, both male and female, in six months. It wasn't all her fault. She just fell too fast for all the wrong people. 

“I'll talk to him.” Aaron spoke finally. “Just not now.” He couldn't see Alexander now. He needed more time to recover. As much as he maybe missed him, he still needed time to be alone, away from Alexander. 

“At least consider giving him a second chance.” She said, fiddling with the straw of her now empty tea cup. “And of course not now, whenever you're ready.” 

_A second chance._ Alexander didn't believe in second chances. He'd told Aaron that himself, that's why he always needed to make a good impression. Aaron wondered if he'd changed his mind about that now. 

“Everyone deserves a second chance.” He told himself aloud, reassuring himself.

_‘Everyone deserves a second chance’_

 

Somehow, Alex had managed to remember Katherine's address despite only being there once. He figured that was where Aaron had to be, and that's why he was standing outside her dorm room, deciding if this was a bad decision or not. It probably was. But he was known for making bad decisions, wasn't he? He only wanted to see if Aaron was here, that was all. He just needed to know where he was staying. That was all. That was enough, for the time being.

He knocked on the door, enduring a couple seconds of silence until the door opened. Once Katherine saw him, she almost immediately closed the door.

“Wait! Wait, please!” Alex stuck out his arm to keep the door from closing.

“What do you want, Alexander.” Her voice was like stone, her eyes narrowed, studying him. 

“I didn't come to start anything, I swear.” Alex said after a moment's hesitation, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “I just...want to know...is he staying here?”

“He's out right now.” She responded, opening the door a little more, and Alex peered over her shoulder into her dorm. He could see Aaron's duffle bag sitting up against the side of a tiny couch, and felt his heart clench. He didn't notice the tears forming in his eyes until they were threatening to spill down his face. He looked down quickly, trying to regain control of himself, but he was already falling apart at the seams. 

_He’d lost him._

Before he knew it, he was sitting down on Katherine's couch, crying into his hands. He cried for god knows how long, until there was a tap on his shoulder, and he looked up, scrubbing at his eyes. Kath had a cup of what seemed like chamomile tea extended out to him, and he looked up at her in confusion.

“Tea makes everything better.” She explained quickly, a small, sympathetic smile forming on her face. Alex took it and breathed in deeply, his senses coming back to him. She sat down on the other end of the couch from him, holding her own cup of tea in her hands. 

“He misses you.” She said after a lengthy silence. Alex looked up at her, shocked, but he deflated quickly. 

“He shouldn't. He needs to stay as far away from me as possible.” As much as Alex hated to say it, he knew it was true. “I'm toxic.”

Silence fell again. Alex miserably noted that chamomile tea was Aaron's favorite kind as he drank it.

“Before I met you, Alex, I thought there was no one in the world that would be right for Aaron.”

Alex smiled at that, and let out something relatively close to a laugh. Aaron had said Katherine always had a way at making good people feel better. Maybe this was it. Maybe this-

“In fact, I still think that, so you can wipe that grin off your face.”

“Right.” Alex dropped the smile immediately. “Right, sorry.”

“But Aaron was happy with you. Like the happiest he's been in a long time. And you two worked well together, you know, like Yin and Yang. Complete opposites, yet still amazingly compatible. You fucked up, that's obvious, but goddamnit, no matter how hard he tried, Aaron just couldn't seem to fall out of love with you.”

Really? Did Aaron really still love him? Did Alex really have another chance? It seemed unlikely. Aaron had taken his sweet time trusting Alex, but once he did, there was no going back. And Alex had broken that trust. Shattered it, like it was nothing. 

“Aaron just needs time to recover. He needs time to think about what happened. He's not ready to forgive you just yet. But just give it time, Alex. Do you think you can do that, for Aaron?”

_‘Yes! Yes, of course!’_

“Absolutely. I'll wait as long as he needs. Anything for him.” Alex responded, and he meant it, _damn_ , did he mean it. 

As Alex walked back to his own dorm, he thought about what Katherine had said, about Aaron needing time. He'd wait as long as Aaron needed. Anything to get him back. Anything. He couldn't wait to have him back by his side. That was Aaron's motto after all, _wait for it._ Maybe, this time, Alex could learn for once. He could learn from what Aaron had taught him about waiting. He'd wait for it. For once, Alex would wait. He'd have to wait.

It was only a matter of time now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will hopefully be up by middle of next week  
> Thank you for all your loving support <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy (late) Valentines Day btw  
> This one has a little more Ham/Burr interaction, but they still aren't all fixed yet  
> Patience my children

“Hey, I don't want to be a nag or anything, but if you're staying here, can you take out the trash?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?” Aaron looked up smugly from his schoolwork and at Katherine, who was typing out an essay on her laptop. It took a moment for her to get the joke, but when she did, she looked back at him in exhaustion, but Aaron could tell she was trying not to smile. 

“Haha, very funny.”

It was Monday morning. Almost three complete days since Alexander and Aaron's falling out, and Aaron would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous for going back to class. Kath had suggested he stay home for a day, maybe even two, but he figured that would be worse. People already knew everything about the affair, they didn't need to know just how bad it was getting to him. The only reason he was really worried was seeing Alexander again. He wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. 

Despite Kath once again giving him the option to stay back at the dorm, Aaron got up to go to his first class. Things were surprisingly different from what he expected, but it was a good different. People didn't stare at him or whisper behind his back, his classes went relatively smooth, and he found his anxiety slowly melting away.

That is until he had to go to his history of politics class. Which just so happened to be the class he had with all three of the people he didn't want to see, Alexander, Jefferson, and Madison. Hopefully, they'd all steer clear of him, so he wouldn't have to deal with anything they had to say. He hesitated a second and breathed in deep before opening the door and walking in. 

Almost immediately three certain people turned and looked at him. Fuck. He meets Alex's eyes briefly, and he looked like he was going to move toward Aaron but he stopped himself and shoved his hands in his pockets. Aaron's first instinct was to turn around and walk out of the room, but instead he forced his legs to move and carry him over to his seat, feeling Alex's eyes on him with every step. 

Alexander didn't come up and try to talk to him though, neither did Jefferson or Madison, much to Aaron's surprise. He was packing his books back into his bag at the end of class when James came up to him, not making direct eye contact.

“Hey.”

Aaron stopped and studied James for a second before responding. 

“Hey.”

Aaron looked over James’ shoulder and found Jefferson and Alexander staring at the two of them, but once Aaron made eye contact, they both quickly turned around.

“Can I talk to you?”

No. Aaron did not want to talk to him. 

“Sure.”

James sighed, and Aaron resisted the urge to just turn around and walk out.

“Look, I’m _really_ sorry about what happened with Hamilton. I was a _terrible_ friend, and I broke your trust, and I totally understand why you're mad-”

“I'm not mad at you.” Aaron interrupted before he could stop himself. I'm mad at myself. James looked up at him, confused. “None of this was your fault. I shouldn't have said what I did, I was just….overwhelmed, and I guess I took it out on you. So, I'm sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize for anything! It was-”

“But neither do you.” Aaron stopped him again, and James opened and closed his mouth, lost for words. “Hey, if you accept my apology, I'll except yours.” Aaron smiled then, and James hesitated before smiling back. 

“Alright. So, we're good?” 

“Yeah. All good. I'll see you later, James.” Aaron smiled one last time before turning, slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking out. It took him a minute to his realize that he felt much better than he did when he first walked into class. He was so caught up in that thought that he walked straight into someone as he exited the class. He pulled back quickly to apologize, but all his words and breath caught in his throat when he saw who it was. 

Maria Reynolds.

She stared back up at him, seeming to be feeling the same thing he was. A few feet away was Angelica Schuyler, looking ready to intervene at any moment, eyeing the two of them cautiously.

“S-sorry.” Maria stuttered out finally, and anyone else would have perceived it as her apologizing for bumping into him, but he knew what she was really saying sorry for. She was apologizing for everything that had happened. 

“It's fine.” Aaron responded, straightening up and blinking a few times, hoping he sounded as sincere as he was. “I just wasn't paying attention.” He winced inwardly at the double meaning, and for some reason, he could tell she winced too. She ducked her head down and walked over to Angelica, and he turned in the opposite direction, hoping to get out as quickly as he could. 

“Hey, Aaron?” Maria called, the hesitation apparent in her voice. 

Aaron stopped, cursing under his breath before turning slowly around. He tried to tell her through his gaze that he didn't want to talk about this.

“I just-....I hope you have a good day.” She finished, and smiled hopefully at him. He smiled back, and he could tell she meant it.

“You too.”

Maria nodded, and turned, taking Angelica's hand and walking down the hall. Aaron briefly wondered if they were dating. He surprised himself by hoping they were. Angelica would treat her better than James did. _‘I don't hold anything against you’_. He wanted to tell her. _‘I don't think bad of you because of what happened. You deserve to be happy with Angelica just as much as anyone.’_ But he didn't. Instead he smiled to himself and turned and walked away in the opposite direction.

 

 

Three days later, and Aaron was standing outside his own dorm, school bag and duffle bag thrown over both shoulders. He shifted on his feet, staring at the closed door, his heart doing flips in his chest. He wondered if he should’ve told Alexander before he came back, instead of showing up unannounced. Before he could lose his courage, he slid the key into the lock and turned it, his heart pounding.

The apartment was quiet. Well, except for the sound of Alex typing away on his laptop. Aaron followed the too familiar sound into their bedroom. 

Aaron had seen Alex at his worst, at his low points where he could only focus on his work. But he looked on the verge of death right now. The usual bags under his eyes were dark, and he looked like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. His hair was pulled sloppily back into a bun, a few strands falling down to frame his face. When was the last time he had a shower?

“Alexander?”

He didn't even flinch. 

_“Alexander.”_ Aaron repeated, louder this time. Still no response. Aaron sighed, looking over his shoulder and wondering if he should just leave. Before he knew what he was doing, he had walked over and sat down next to Alexander, noting that he smelled strongly of coffee. He stared at him for another second before reaching over and shutting his laptop, making Alexander pull his hands back quickly.

“What the hell!-” Alex turned to him angrily, but closed his mouth when he saw who it was. “Aaron.” The two of them sat there staring at each other, both seemingly not knowing what to say. Aaron resisted the urge to pull Alex closer to him and cradle his face in his hands. He settled for crossing his arms in front of his chest instead.

“When was the last time you got some sleep? Or showered?” 

Alex opened and closed his mouth, then furrowed his brow in what looked like confusion. 

“What day is it again?”

Aaron looked him up and down, and then rolled his eyes. “Alright, go get in the shower, I'll make you something other than hot pockets.”

“But I-”

“ _Go_ , Alexander.”

_“No.”_ Alex replied, his voice like stone. Aaron could tell by the defiant look in his eyes that there was going to be an argument in his near future.

“And why not?”

“Because I don't deserve your pity, Aaron. Why did you come back? It's not like I didn't want you to, but why? After everything I've done to you, you still comeback and take care of me? Why?” The total helplessness in both Alex’s voice and eyes shocked Aaron. He'd never seen Alex looked so confused and desperate.

“Because I'm not giving up on you.” Aaron replied after a minute. _‘I'm not giving up on us.’_ Alex raised his eyebrows. “You might be giving up on yourself but I refuse to sit by and watch you work yourself to death. If I remember correctly, it was you who kept telling me I couldn't sit on the sidelines my entire life. And now I'm not.” 

When Alex continued to look at him, Aaron smiled reassuringly.

“I _care_ about you, Alex.” 

Alex smiled at him painfully before looking down suddenly, seemingly falling in on himself as sobs racked his body. Aaron wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his lap, letting Alex cry into his shoulder as he rubbed comforting circles into the skin of his back. He got the sudden feeling of déjà vu, thinking back to the multiple times he held Alexander like this during thunderstorms or times when he woke up shaking from nightmares. The flashbacks only made Aaron hold him tighter. 

The sobs subsided after a few minutes, but Alex refused to move out of Aaron's lap, so he sat there holding Alex to his chest. After a minute Alex shifted, looking up at Aaron and smiling shyly.

“Thanks.” He murmured, and Aaron might have been imagining it, but he could have sworn Alex had pressed up even closer against his chest. Not that he was complaining or anything. “For everything. For coming back, _and_ for not giving up on me.”

“Don't mention it. Can you get in the shower for me now?”

Alex nodded, lingering a little longer in Aaron's arms before getting up and sliding off the bed. He stretched and yawned, and Aaron couldn't help but notice the way his shirt slid up when he stretched, exposing the skin of his lower back and stomach. He sat on the bed until he heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on, and then he got up and walked into the kitchen. 

By the time the shower turned off, Aaron was placing a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup on the table of the kitchenette. A couple minutes later, Alex walked into the kitchen, looking much better and wearing a clean pair of sweatpants and Aaron's own Princeton sweatshirt. Aaron couldn't help but stare at the too big dwarfing Alex’s small frame. Alex noticed his stare and looked down before biting his lip nervously.

“Sorry. It was just...it was the first thing I saw so...I can take if you want?”

“No, no. No, it's fine.” Aaron smiled reassuringly at him, earning an almost forced smile from Alex that made him wince inwardly. He wasn't surprised when Alex sat down and practically inhaled the soup, knowing full well that probably the only thing Alex had consumed during the week was an excessive amount of coffee and maybe a couple of hot pockets. 

When Alex had finished, Aaron handed him a glass of water, something other than coffee, and he drank it down without too much hesitation.

“You should probably go get some rest.” Aaron said after a minute of watching him. Alex nodded and got up, and thanked him before walking down the hall to his room. Aaron placed the empty bowl and glass in the sink, and gripped the edge of the counter tightly. For the time being, Alex needed him. For the time being, Aaron was going to stay.

_‘I'm not giving up on us’_

 

 

They developed a new routine.

Alex began sleeping in his old room, the one he had slept in before they were dating, which had been temporarily known as his office. Over the course of the next week, they fell into an easy rhythm, and gradually became more comfortable with each other. Alex still did ridiculous shit that would drive Aaron insane, like cracked dirty jokes at inappropriate times and left his clothes literally _all over_ the dorm, seriously, Aaron had found a sock in the cupboard once. How the _fuck_ had that gotten there? Part of him wanted to believe that Alex left his clothes all over the place on purpose, simply hoping for a reaction. 

“So hey,” Alex started, walking into the kitchen one day. Aaron looked up at him from his cup of instant noodles. “Tonight's our monthly movie night, you know when the squad and I play a drinking game to some famous movie?” Aaron nodded. “I was wondering if you were gonna stay for it? You don't have to if you don't want to but I just- we kinda need to know.” 

Aaron considered that. Did he want to stay with Alex's friends, who he hadn't seen since the affair, and watch them get shit-faced drunk? He wasn't sure if he was ready to handle Alex’s drunk brutal honesty, considering everything that had happened. 

“I was actually planning on going down to the library to study later.” Aaron lied, and he hoped he was imagining the hurt that flashed across Alex's features. 

“Yeah, yeah. Of course, that's fine.” Alex waved his hand dismissively before walking away. Aaron felt like he had just dodged a bullet. 

 

Message from: **Hunkules Mullidamn**  
Sent: Wednesday, 10:37 pm  
_HELP SOS_

Message from: **Hunkules Mullidamn**  
Sent: Wednesday, 10:38 pm  
_BURR GET YOUR SOBER ASS UP HERE I NEED HELP ___

___Message from: **Hunkules Mullidamn**  
Sent: Wednesday, 10:40 pm  
_AARON PLEASE IM OUTNUMBERED ALL THREE OF THEM ARE DRUNK__

__Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes before shooting Hercules a text in reply._ _

___Message from: **Baby Burr**  
Sent: Wednesday, 10:43 pm  
_I’m coming up ____

____“Aaron!”_ _ _ _

____As soon as Aaron opened the door to the dorm, Alex ran up and threw himself into his arms, surprising him. Alex nuzzled his nose into the crook of Aaron's neck, and Aaron could feel himself starting to slip._ _ _ _

____“Aaron, thank god!” Hercules ran up and pried Alex off of him, looking weary and exhausted. “So sorry about Alex, he’s drunk off his ass, all three of them are.”_ _ _ _

____Aaron peered past Herc where John was standing on top of the living room table, singing loudly, being cheered on in French by Lafayette._ _ _ _

____“I'm not drunk!” Alex whined, wrenching himself out of Hercules’ arms, throwing himself at Aaron again. “I missed you.”_ _ _ _

____“Uh, listen, if it makes you uncomfortable or anything, Alex can come stay at my dorm.” Herc suggested, probably noticing Aaron's uneasy expression. The words came out before he could stop them._ _ _ _

____“No, it's fine.”_ _ _ _

____Herc raised an eyebrow._ _ _ _

____“You've got enough on your hands as it is.” Aaron explained quickly, throwing a glance over Herc’s shoulder. Herc followed his gaze, and laughed._ _ _ _

____“Lafayette's not drunk, he just likes to use his drinking as an excuse to crawl in bed with me in the middle of the night. John on the other hand, is completely shit faced.”_ _ _ _

____“I can tell.”_ _ _ _

____After helping Herc get John off the table and him and Laf out the door, it was time to deal with Alex. He turned back to find Alex laying down on the floor of the living room, and Aaron placed his hands on his hips._ _ _ _

____“What are you doing?”_ _ _ _

____“Contemplating my existence.”_ _ _ _

____“Come on, Alex, we gotta get you in bed.” Aaron sighed, nudging Alex’s ankle with his foot. Alex looked up at him._ _ _ _

____“Carry me?”_ _ _ _

_____“Alexander.”__ _ _ _

____“Please?”_ _ _ _

____Aaron grumbled, but knew there was probably no other way to get Alex in bed. So Aaron kneeled down next to him and hooked an arm under his knees and the other under his arms. Alex obliged quickly, throwing his arms around Aaron’s shoulders with a dramatic flourish. Aaron lifted him up and carried him into his bedroom, stepping carefully over dirty clothes and papers. He laid Alex down on the bed, and was about to make a hasty exit when Alex grabbed his arm._ _ _ _

____“Stay with me.”_ _ _ _

____Aaron tensed up involuntarily._ _ _ _

____“I won't try anything Aaron, I promise.” Alex sounded close to tears. “I just don't want to be alone right now.”_ _ _ _

____Aaron stared down at him and bit his lip. If he said no, Alex would most likely just sneak into his bed in the middle of the night. This was pretty much inevitable._ _ _ _

____“Fine.”_ _ _ _

____Alex gasped excitedly and scooted over, patting the space beside him. Aaron sighed again and looked towards the door before throwing the covers back and laying down next to Alex. They laid there for about five minutes in silence before Alex’s hand found Aaron's under the comforter, and he grabbed it. Aaron didn't pull away. That must have renewed Alex’s confidence because a couple minutes later he spoke up again._ _ _ _

____“Aaron? You still awake?”_ _ _ _

____“Mhm?”_ _ _ _

____“Can...can you hold me?”_ _ _ _

____Aaron nodded after a moment, even though Alex probably wasn't looking at him. He rolled over and hesitated slightly before reaching out and pulling Alex towards him. Alex reciprocated, snaking his arms around Aaron's waist and burying his face in the crook of Aaron's neck. One of Aaron's hands came up to rest on the back of Alex’s head, combing through his hair comfortingly._ _ _ _

____He'd missed this. He'd missed the way Alex’s body fit so perfectly against his own. He'd missed the way Alex held onto him for dear life when they were sleeping. Hed missed the comforting weight of Alex’s arms on his waist. He'd missed running his hands through Alex's hair until he fell asleep. He'd missed Alex._ _ _ _

____Alex’s breathing had steadied, but Aaron was still awake. Part of him wanted to get up and sneak out while Alex was asleep, but the other half wanted to stay. Aaron was tired, and Alex's body was so warm against his. Alex’s breathing was tickling Aaron's neck, and Aaron found himself smiling as he traced sleepy patterns up and down Alex’s back._ _ _ _

____Aaron didn't even notice when his eyes closed and he fell asleep._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to the lovely @cydisyaoitrash for helping me come up with Hercules' contact name  
> If you can't tell, Herc is the Dad Friend™  
> Next chapter will be up whenever I finish it, hopefully soon


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all thought it was over

When Alex woke up the next morning, he was confused as to why Aaron's arms were wrapped around him. Everything that had happened last night had been a blur, but he knew that he had been drunk off his ass, judging by the pounding headache forming behind his eyes. Oh god, what had he done? He pulled back slightly to look up at Aaron, only to find that he was already awake, staring blankly at the wall.

“Hey.”

Aaron blinked, and looked down at him, his expression remaining unchanged. 

“Hey. I take it your head hurts?”

“Uh, yeah, what-”

But Aaron was already pulling his arms off of Alex and getting up out of the bed. Alex wanted to reach out and pull him back in bed, but decided against it. He sat up and watched with a furrowed brow as Aaron walked out into the hallway, out of his field of vision. A minute later, he walked back in with a bottle of painkillers and a glass of water.

“Thanks.” Alex looked up at him, but Aaron was still avoiding his eyes as he set the glass and the painkillers on the nightstand. “What happened last night?” 

“Basically, you refused to go to bed if I didn't join you.” Aaron met his eyes briefly, then turned and walked out of the room again. Alex threw the covers off of himself and followed Aaron out into the hall, despite his migraine begging him to stay in bed. He _had_ to talk to him. 

“Hey, Aaron?” 

Aaron's back was to him as he got a coffee mug out from the cabinet. 

“I think...we should talk.”

Aaron didn't turn around, but Alex noticed the way his shoulders tensed up. 

“About what.”

“About last night.” Alex responded shortly, beginning to grow slightly impatient. “About us.”

“There's nothing to discuss in that department, Alexander.”

“Aaron…” Alex sighed, wondering how he should approach this gently. “I really think we should talk about what happened.” Alex walked towards him, but Aaron didn't turn. “I know you're in pain, but if you would just-”

“Please don't.” Aaron raised a hand to stop him, his eyes screwed tightly shut. “I can't, Alexander, I'm not ready to…”

“Right of course, I know. I just-...because of what happened last night I...I thought-”

“I only went to bed with you last night because you refused to go to bed alone. I said I'd take care of you and I am.” Aaron's words were bitter, but his eyes were unreadable when he opened them. 

“Well it's not really taking care of me when you're sending me mixed signals.” The thought came out as a sentence, and Alex bit his tongue in regret.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I've been acting a little out of it lately but I'm still getting over the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me.”

Alex sighed and tore his eyes away from Aaron's and fixed his gaze at a point across the room.

“How long are you going to use that against me.” The words, yet again, came out before he could stop them. Aaron turned on him slowly, and Alex could feel his eyes burning into his skin.

“ _You_ were the one who ruined what we had, Alexander. _You_ were the one who published that idiotic article for everyone to read, even though you didn't have to. _You_ were the one who went behind my back and-”

“I know what I did, Aaron! I'm well aware of what happened, and I own that but-”

“Owning it doesn't make it any better, Alex!”

“Aaron, I fucked up, okay? But I’m trying really hard to make it up to you, and for the first time in my life, I’m waiting for something. I would wait however long you need, which is a big deal for me, isn’t that worth something?”

Aaron narrowed his eyes at him, some unknown emotion flashing across his features.

“You should be waiting for me because it's the right thing to do. Not because you think it will make me come back to you.”

“Aaron, that's not what-”

“I can't deal with you right now. I just can't.” Aaron pushed past him, ignoring the endless apologies coming from Alex’s mouth. 

“I loved you, Aaron! I _still_ do!”

“The you should've acted like it.”

 

Aaron sat in the campus coffee shop, a blueberry muffin lying untouched on the plate in front of him. He played absentmindedly with the rim of his coffee cup, staring blankly at the table. He wondered if he had been too harsh on Alex. He probably had been, but he found that he just couldn't care. Despite that, he couldn't get the look of Alex’s desperate and pleading eyes out of his mind. He passed a hand over his eyes and sighed, shaking his head. He thought back on the times they had been happy together. When they had spent every free second they had next to each other, kissing like they were running out of time. Aaron wished he'd known just how little time they'd have. He would give anything to have those times back. 

“Aaron?”

Aaron looked up, embarrassed at being caught moping. It was Peggy, her camera slung over her shoulder and John by her side holding two cups of coffee. 

“Peggy, hey.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Aaron nodded frantically before taking a deep breath. “Yeah, everything's fine.”

They both frowned at him at the same exact time, making Aaron laugh halfheartedly. 

“Really, I’m fine, I just…” He trailed off, struggling to come up with an excuse that wouldn’t prompt a full blown conversation, since talking about what had happened was the last thing he wanted right now. “I'm fine.”

Peggy opened her mouth to speak, but John wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her along gently, throwing a kind smile over his shoulder at Aaron. 

“If this is about Alex, by the way, I just want you to know that he is trying.” 

Aaron sighed, trying his best to keep his expression unreadable. He'd learned from a young age that if you didn't let people know how you were feeling, they couldn't hurt you. Unfortunately, he'd been too open with Alex. And look where that had gotten him. 

“I know.”

 

About a half an hour later, Aaron had cooled down and collected himself enough in order to go back to the dorm. The first thing he noticed when he opened the door was the silence. It was weird how the dorm room could be so quiet at times that it almost seemed loud. The silence seemed to deep into the walls and furniture, weighing everything down a bit.

“Alex?” Aaron's voice sounded loud even to himself as it echoed off the walls. Was Alex even here? Aaron walked slowly and cautiously down the hall, his footsteps thudding on the floor, as if his feet were made of lead. He noted with unease that silence in the dorm always led to bad things.

Aaron checked the bathroom first, then his own bedroom, with still no sign of Alex. He pushed the door to Alex's room open gently, but the hinges still creaked loudly. Alex was asleep in his bed, wrapped in the covers. He _was_ here. Aaron furrowed his brow, half out of anger and half out of confusion. He was confused as to why Alex hadn't woken up when he called him, he'd always been a light sleeper. On multiple occasions Alex had woken up in the middle of the night convinced there was a burglar in their dorm, only to find Aaron in the kitchen getting a drink of water. He didn't really know why he was angry, he didn't know if he even had the right to be.

Rolling his eyes, he walked over to the nightstand to grab the now empty glass of water and the bottle of painkillers. What made him stop was the fact that the bottle of painkillers wasn't supposed to be empty, but it was. 

The bottle of painkillers was _empty_.

Had it been almost empty when he grabbed it from the bathroom this morning? It had been full, right? Aaron was almost positive it had been full, or at least half full. He was _positive_ it hadn't been almost empty this morning. But that meant…

_No._

Aaron put two and two together and set the glass down roughly on the table, the empty bottle falling from his hands.

Alex would _not_ have taken the entire bottle of painkillers.

Would he?

“Alex. Alex, wake up.” Aaron shook him roughly by the shoulder, praying for Alex to wake up and ask him to stop in irritation. But he didn't. “Alex! Come on, Alexander, _please_ wake up.” 

Alex didn't stir. 

“Oh god. Oh god, Alex, don't you dare leave me you bastard.” 

What should he do? What could he do? He grabbed his phone and almost dialed Johns number, but then dialed 911. That was the emergency line, right? That was the number you were supposed to call? Why the fuck couldn't he remember this?

“911, what's your emergency?”

“Yeah, my boyfriend just took an entire bottle of painkillers.” 

His hands were shaking so hard he almost dropped the phone. The fact that he accidentally used the word _boyfriend_ was lost on him, it didn't matter what their relationship was like, Aaron still _loved_ him, Aaron still could not live without him.

“Sir, do you know how many were in the bottle?”

“I-I don't know exactly, it might have been full, or maybe just half, I-I just know it was too much-”

“Is your boyfriend awake?”

“No, no, h-he's unconscious.”

“Alright, sir, can you tell me your name and address?”

He told her his name and their address, his heart pounding in his chest and his hands trembling so hard he had to hold the phone with both hands. _Please god, do not let me be too late._

“Alright Aaron, the paramedics are on their way, just remain calm, everything is going to be just fine.”

“It's my fault.” Aaron whispered as the thought hit him. If he hadn't been too harsh on Alex, if he hadn't left in a fit of anger, he could've stopped this. If he'd been more patient, if he'd tried to listen, Alex wouldn't have done this. “I pushed him to do this.”

The operator started saying things to him, but Aaron didn't hear her. Alex was going to die and it was all his fault. Aaron was going to lose the only person he'd ever really loved and it was all his fault. _Please god, do not take him too._

_Don't you dare fucking leave me, you bastard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jinkies
> 
> A lot of shit's been going down in my life, so please be patient, I know this one was short especially considering how long it took but I'm really busy
> 
> Love you all thanks for all the support!!! <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ it's done finally omg I've been sooooo busy  
> Edit: Woops finally fixed that italics error that was embarrassing lmao if you can't tell I'm very tired

Everything after the paramedics arrived had been a blur. He'd heard the sirens coming and almost blacked out, but forced himself to stay awake for Alexander’s sake. They’d let him ride in the ambulance, and even in there the sirens were so loud he couldn't hear anything except for the blood rushing in his own ears. Once they'd gotten to the hospital, Aaron had _begged_ to stay with him, but the paramedics shook their heads and instructed him to wait in the lobby. He stared after them, dumbfounded before looking back into the lobby. The lobby was full of tear stained faces and broken hearts. People who’d lost someone they loved. Aaron did not want to be one of those people, not again. 

Bad things happened in hospitals.

A few minutes had passed and all of Alex’s friends came rushing in with Peggy. Peggy spotted Aaron immediately and walked briskly over to him and threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Aaron was suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. He registered that she was saying something, probably trying to comfort him, but her words fell on deaf ears. 

“It's my fault.” Aaron whispered, making Peggy pull back and look at him sternly, telling him it wasn't his fault, but she didn't understand, she wasn't there. Alex wouldn't have overdosed if Aaron hadn't fought with him. “He's going to die thinking I don't care about him. He's going to die thinking I hate him.” Aaron voiced his thoughts aloud, and Peggy shook her head in pity and hugged him again. 

This time he did cry.

_“You know what I think is funny?”  
Aaron looked down at Alex, curled up against his side with an arm draped over his bare waist. _

_“What?”_

_“When we first met, we hated each other. Now look where we are.”_

_“Hate is a pretty strong word, babe.”_

_It was true he hadn't liked Alex when they first met, but that was because he went against every single rule Aaron had lived by. He voiced every single opinion he'd ever had, never shut up about a single damn thing, and couldn't ever admit he was wrong._

_“I guess I didn't **hate** you per say, but I definitely didn't like you, and I don't think you liked me. I could never understand you, and not understanding things makes me upset. It was all very frustrating.” Alex huffed against Aaron's neck. Aaron nodded in response and rubbed Alex’s back. “But it was also kind of a turn on.”_

_Aaron laughed at that and hugged him tighter. He smiled down at him and reached to brush the hair out of his face and tuck it behind his ear, his fingers lingering on his jaw for a moment._

_“I guess we both eventually grew on each other, didn't we?” He murmured, the total adoration in his eyes making Alex blush and look away._

_“Yeah. Thank god for that.”_

_A comfortable silence fell between the two of them, Alex’s hand trailing up and down Aaron's side. Aaron was on the verge of sleep when Alex’s voice woke him again._

_“Had no idea you were so kinky either.”_

_Aaron cracked an eye open and found Alex smirking up at him, one hand trailing over the several bite marks and hickeys decorating his neck and collarbone._

_“Guess there’s just a lot you don't know about me yet.”_

_Alex hummed and reached up to grab Aaron's shoulders and pull himself on top of him. He leaned down to smother Aaron's face with kisses, kissing his forehead, his cheekbones, his nose, his jaw, and finally pressing one to his lips._

_“Hope you'll give me enough time to learn then.”_

Two painful hours had passed, Aaron was sitting in one of the chairs with an arm over his eyes. He didn't know whether they thought he was sleeping or not, but Alex’s friends and Peggy left him alone for the time being. Only thirty minutes ago had one of the doctors came out to tell a woman and her husband that their son hadn't made it through his surgery, and the way the couple had sobbed so brokenly made Aaron sick to his stomach. He _couldn't_ be one of those people, Alexander _couldn't_ die on him. 

There was a sudden commotion, and Aaron peeked out from under his arm to see what everyone was getting up for. The doctor had come into the lobby, running his hands through his hair and sighing, obviously exhausted. Aaron jumped up from his seat too quickly, making his head spin. 

“Be honest with me,” he couldn't stop the words from rushing out of his mouth, “is he going to die?”

The doctor looked up at him, pain evident in his eyes. Aaron suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted to know the truth or not. 

“It's hard to tell as of now.”

_‘Please no.’_

“We pumped all the toxins out of his stomach, but he's going to be in a coma for a few days. We’ll do everything we can.”

_‘Please let that be enough.’_

“Can I see him?” Aaron asked, ignoring his urge to sob. Sobbing wouldn't help Alexander get better. “Please?”

The doctor nodded, telling Aaron which room he was in, and that was all it took to have Aaron walking briskly down the hall to Alex’s room. He was used to seeing Alex asleep in hospital beds like this before, but there was something different about it now. He looked just like he was sleeping peacefully, but he was on the verge of death. Aaron walked over slowly, letting his eyes take in what was before him. He reached out to take Alex’s hand in his, wanting Alex to wake up and smile sleepily at him and kiss his knuckles lovingly. He didn't. He turned Alex’s hand over in his, tracing his palm with his finger. He knew his hands so well by now, he'd felt them on his skin. 

“I'm so sorry, Alexander.” He whispered, reaching out to brush the strands of hair out of his face and then kissing the back of his hand. He kept his hand up to his lips for a long while, praying to feel Alex's hand move to cradle his face. His hand remained still. He wanted Alex to tell him he loved him, to tell him he didn't blame Aaron for what had happened. But he didn't. He wanted to feel Alex’s lips on his one last time, he wanted to feel his arms around his waist one last time. He wanted to hear just one more of Alex’s cheesy pick up lines or one more of his dirty jokes. 

But Alex’s eyes remained closed. 

_‘Smile more Aaron,’ Alex grinned up at him. ‘You're gorgeous when you smile.’_

Aaron started to cry.

_Aaron was standing in front of the mirror in their bedroom, fixing his tie nervously. Alex was leaning in the doorway, sipping out of a coffee mug and looking at him with a raised eyebrow._

_“Hey there, sexy.” Aaron rolled his eyes at him, but that just made Alex grin wider. “What are you all dressed up for?”_

_Aaron looked over at him briefly before looking back in the mirror, smoothing out his button up obsessively. “I have my mock trial today, you know that.”_

_“But I thought that was on Thursday?”_

_“Washington has a wedding to go to out of town, so he moved it to today.”_

_Alex made a noise of understanding and took another sip of coffee._

_“Are you nervous?”_

_Aaron sighed, his hands coming back up to fix his tie._

_“I'm terrified.”_

_Alex set his mug down on the dresser and came up to swat Aaron's shaking hands away from his tie._

_“You're going to be fine.” He smiled up at him reassuringly as he fixed his tie properly. “Because you, Aaron Burr, are a great person. And even though you might not speak them often, I know you have strong beliefs.” He paused and leaned up to kiss him sweetly. “And you are great at arguing.”_

_Aaron smiled and sighed, wrapping his arms around Alex’s shoulders and hugging him close._

_“Being a lawyer is more than just being good at arguing, Alex. These are people’s lives I'm going to be dealing with. If I say the wrong thing, or if I'm not observant enough and I miss something important, I could send someone completely innocent to jail. I could take them away from their homes, their families, I could ruin someone's life.”_

_“But you could also save lives.” Alex pulled back to look at him, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. “You could send a murderer to jail, and defend someone's rights. You're going to help a lot of people, Aaron.”_

_Aaron shook his head but kissed him still, thanking god he got so lucky with him._

_“Besides, even if you lose the trial, I will still love you and I will still be your boyfriend.”_

_“Well thank god for that.” Aaron replied sarcastically, but meant it without a doubt. Alex smiled before stepping back to look him up and down._

_“Damn. Look at you.”_

_Aaron rolled his eyes again, knowing that their tender moment was too good to be true._

_“You're like my sexy lawyer boyfriend.”_

_“Alexander, I **am** your sexy lawyer boyfriend.”_

_“Mm, even better.” Alex wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed their hips together gently, leaning up to connect their mouths again. Aaron knew he should not be late for his trial, but with Alex’s mouth moving so nicely against his own he couldn't help himself._

_“Alex...I can't be-...late…” Aaron murmured between Alex’s frantic, heated kisses. Alex just hummed in response, his hands roaming over his back._

_“You can if you want to.” He whispered before placing his hands on Aaron’s chest and pushing him back towards the bed. Aaron laughed against his lips and let himself fall onto the bed, bringing Alex down with him._

_The things Alexander Hamilton can do with his mouth should be fucking illegal._

Three days had passed since Alex’s suicide attempt, and the doctors had announced he was going to live. Aaron hated going to classes knowing Alex was in a coma, but he went anyway.  
It was like the day of the Reynolds Pamphlet, yet somehow even worse. Word had spread around campus that the famed Alexander Hamilton had tried to kill himself over the weekend, and Aaron despised the fact that, yet again, everyone knew what he was going through. 

Everyday after his classes he'd go to the hospital and sit in Alex's room as he did his homework. He didn't care if the doctors thought he was weird, or that he was maybe going insane, but he wanted to be there if Alex woke up. He needed to apologize. He was sitting by Alexander’s bedside one night when there was a knock at the door. He looked up as the door opened, and John stepped in. 

“Hey, Burr.” He smiled with just a hint of sympathy. 

“Hey.” Aaron smiled back. 

“It's getting late, do you need a ride back to your dorm?” 

Aaron checked his watch, and started slightly when he saw it was nearing eleven pm. 

“No, I can drive myself. Thank you though.” 

John nodded and held the door open as Aaron gathered his stuff and got up. They walked out to the parking lot in silence. They were forced to move to the side when paramedics came rushing in with someone on a stretcher, and Aaron looked down, unable to bare the sight of someone so close to death. 

“Why do you want to be a vet, John?” Aaron sled once they got outside past the paramedics. John looked at him, confused and Aaron continued. “I know it's different than being a doctor, but you're still dealing with lives.” 

John considered what he said for a minute before responding. 

“I know, I'll be dealing with lives, and that terrifies me. But I want to help in any way I can, whether it be putting someone's pet out of its misery or giving it life saving medicine.” John replied, a small smile lighting up his face. “Besides, I think animals are much better than humans.” 

“Why is that?” 

“In a way, animals are so much more pure than the human race. They don't kill out of cold blood like some of us do, and they don't hate based on sexuality, race, gender, or any of that shit that humans do. Animals aren't filled with as much hate as humans are, and I find that really honorable.” 

Aaron stared at him. He had never known John that well, even though he was dating Peggy. He had never known John was so insightful. 

“I don't think I'd be a good doctor. I don't do well with blood.” 

“That's funny, considering Alex is your-” John caught himself in the middle of his sentence and stuttered awkwardly before closing his mouth. The unsaid word still hangs in the air though, reminding the two of them of what used to be. Aaron was thankful when they finally got to his car, saying a quick goodbye to John and getting in. When he was finally alone in the safety of his car he let himself sink down into the seat and close his eyes. It took him a couple moments to start the car and leave the parking lot, not wanting to leave the hospital and Alexander alone. There was nothing he could do for him now. 

He just had to wait. 

He didn't have to wait that long, as a matter of fact, because the next day, a day where he didn't have any classes, he got the phone call. He got it around noon, and when he saw that it was Peggy, he contemplated not picking up. As usual, he didn't want to talk about his feelings, but he forced himself to answer. 

“He's awake.” Was all Peggy said, and that was all that was needed. He didn't even bother hanging up, just clicked his phone off and shoved it in his pocket as he almost sprinted out of the dorm. His mind was swirling with so many emotions as he drove to the hospital, almost running stop signs and red lights and probably making the other drivers very upset. Once he'd parked, his feet carried him unconsciously through the parking lot and into the lobby. His head was swimming, his stomach was churning, and his heart was pounding against his ribcage. He couldn't decide if he was nervous or excited. Probably both. Hell if he knew, emotions were confusing. 

He was approaching Alex’s room when John, Hercules, and Lafayette walked out. Hercules grinned at him and clapped a hand on his back, making him stumble slightly. 

“He's all yours, Baby Burr.” 

Aaron ignored the comment even though he was glad someone's joking demeanor was back. Aaron rushed past them and into Alex’s room, but his feet froze to the floor in the doorway. It was weird yet comforting to see Alexander's eyes open again. He looked better of course, if not a little pale. He looked up when Aaron stepped in, and his smile fell slightly. 

“Aaron.” Alex sighed and smiled, only briefly, before licking his lower lip nervously. Aaron walked towards him briskly, Alex’s eyes widening as he got closer. Alex opened his mouth to speak and… 

Aaron smacked him across the face as hard as he could. 

He didn't allow him any time to recover before the words started spilling from his mouth. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? How could you have done something like this to yourself, to _me_? You know damn well how I feel about being alone, so why would you do something like this? Why would you chose to leave me?” His voice was rising and tears were pricking at his eyes but he couldn't stop the thoughts he had kept bottled in his mind from running off his tongue. “Do you really not care at all? Did you really not think about how this would affect me? I _need_ you, Alexander! I cannot live without you, you know that! You are all I have left, I-...I can't lose you too.” 

His voice broke and he looked down quickly, sitting down on the side of the bed. He wrapped his arms around Alexander and hugged him close, needing to be closer to him. Alexander reciprocated after a moment's hesitation, hugging with the exact same intensity. The stayed like that for awhile, just holding each other close, nothing needing to be said anymore. Something in the back of his mind told Aaron to pull away, but he didn't want to. Alexander had come so close to death, and Aaron had almost lost the person he loved the most. 

“I'm sorry.” Alex whispered, making Aaron pull back to look up at him. 

“Do not be sorry, Alexander, none of this was your fault.” 

“It's all my fault.” Alex laughed ruefully, but Aaron just shook his head. He reached out to touch his cheek gently, ghosting his thumb over the red blossoming across the side of his face. 

“I'm sorry I hit you.” 

“I deserved it.” Alex smiled at him, something Aaron had missed so much that he couldn't help smiling back. 

“I think we both have a lot to be sorry for.” 

Alex nodded and moved one of his hands to take Aaron’s that was still hovering on his cheek. He still looked hesitant, but the fact that Aaron didn't pull away seemed to reassure him. Aaron looked off to the side, out the hospital room window and into the hall. A young woman was being pushed down the hall in a wheelchair with a newborn baby in her arms. Lives were started here. Lives were saved here. People were given second chances here. If it weren't for the doctors here, Alex would be dead. 

Good things happened in hospitals. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched Jurassic world recently and I couldn't help but think of a hamburr au with it  
> Like could you imagine Burr as like a flustered park owner with a young daughter (Theo would take the place of Zach) who's just desperately trying to keep his parents legacy alive  
> And Hamilton is a single dad/raptor trainer  
> Theo and Phillip meet in like the field hamster ball things ya know and they bond over both having single dads and when the Indominus (??) Rex thing escapes angst ensues with Burr and Ham teaming up to find their kids and ugh couLD YOU IMAAAAGINE


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys I don't know whether to be happy or sad we're reaching the end of the story and the end is gonna be like tooth rotting fluff okay it's gonna be great

Aaron pushed open the door to Alex’s room gently, hesitating in the doorway when he noticed the room was dark and Alex was asleep in his bed. He walked in anyway, setting his bag down on the chair and walking over to the edge of the bed.

“Alex,” Aaron reached out to rub his shoulder, smiling when Alex grumbled under his breath, “c’mon, wake up.”

When Alex turned his face further into the pillow, Aaron rolled his eyes and got up to draw the window curtains open, filling the room with sunlight. Alex groaned, lifting up his pillow and smothering it over his face. 

“C’mon. Up.” Aaron reached over to yank the covers off of him, and Alex shivered and groaned from under his pillow.

“You're the worst, you know.” Alex lifted his pillow slightly to glare at him. 

“Mm, so I've been told.” Aaron smirked down at him, and it was Alex’s turn to roll his eyes. “Alex, what the hell. You haven't even touched your food.” Aaron placed his hands on his hips at the sight of the food tray sitting alone on Alex’s bedside table.

“It's _hospital_ food.” Alex grumbled. Aaron shouldn't have been surprised that he was in a pissy mood. The doctors had put him on suicide watch and said he had to stay at least another two days, and Alex obviously didn't agree. 

“At least eat the pudding.” Aaron took the pudding cup off the tray and held it out to him, which Alex took begrudgingly. Aaron took out his homework and sat down at the foot of Alex’s bed. 

“Is there any work I should be doing?” Alex asked, eyeing Aaron's homework suspiciously.

“Alex, relax. All of your professors understand, there's no work you need to be doing. They'll give you time to catch when you get back.” Aaron responded firmly. Even when in the hospital, Alex couldn't keep his mind off of his work. “How have you been doing?” Aaron switched the topic, not wanting Alex to stress too much. 

“I'm doing fine.” Alex muttered. “I'd much rather be at the dorm though.” 

“I know. I'd rather have you there too.” Aaron sighed, looking up at him. It was true, the dorm was dull and quiet without Alex in it, Aaron wanted him there more than anything. “Just give it a couple more days.” 

“I don't need a couple more days, Burr!” Ah, so they were back to the last names. I'm fine, really, I am!”

“I believe you.” Aaron nodded, even though it was a lie. As much as he wanted to, he didn't think he could trust Alex to be alone again. He just cared too much. Alex’s eyes narrowed coldly at him.

“No you don't.” He snarled, making Aaron flinch. Aaron looked down in shame, and Alex quickly realized what he'd said. “Sorry. I didn't mean it like-...I know you're just trying to help, I'm sorry.” Alex’s head dropped into his hands. “God, I'm a mess, I-”

“Alex,” Aaron reached out to touch his leg, “calm down, you're fine. You're right, I don't believe you.” Aaron sighed, and Alex peered up at him. “I'm just so worried about you Alex, I couldn't live with myself if I lost you, god forbid if _I_ was the cause of it.”

“You weren't the cause of it Aaron, please do not blame yourself for some idiotic mistake I made, everything I-”

“It doesn't matter what caused it, Alexander.” Aaron reached out to touch his face, tracing his fingers along his jawline gently. “What matters is that you're safe, and I'm here.”

Alex stared at him before nodding and offering a small smile. Aaron smiled back. 

“You're not a mess either.” Aaron tucked a strand of hair behind Alex’s ear, and Alex raised an eyebrow, confused. 

“You're a _hot_ mess. Now eat your pudding.”

Alex laughed this time, a pure, happy laugh that made Aaron's heart soar. He ended up laughing too, and soon they were both sitting there laughing on the hospital bed because they were both complete and utter disasters. 

But they were each other's disasters 

And they were going to make this work.

 

“So, Alex, has your boyfriend been coming to visit more often?”

Alex frowned at John, who was sitting at the foot of his hospital bed, in the same place Aaron had been no less than thirty minutes ago. His hospital bed was littered with chip bags and candy wrappers, all of which John had smuggled in through his sweatshirt. Alex made a mental note that he owed his friends for sticking with him even though he was a mess. Hercules had knitted him a goddamn _scarf_ for fucks’ sake, and as soon as he had woken up Lafayette had run in to smother him with hugs and French prayers. He hoped they didn’t think that his suicide attempt was their fault, like Aaron had. His attempt to take his own life had been solely caused by his overdramatic mind. After Aaron had walked out in a fit of anger that morning, Alex had blamed himself, telling himself he’d pushed Aaron too far too soon, asking himself why he couldn’t be more like Aaron and wait for once. He’d asked himself why he could never be satisfied, why he never stopped for anyone.

The next thing that had gone through his mind was the thought everyone he cared about hated him. He had been positive he’d ruined any chance Aaron and him had at ever being what they were before, and he was positive Aaron never wanted to see him again. He had been sure all his friends thought he was an asshole. Actually, he had been sure _everyone_ thought he was an asshole, he’d outed himself to the entire campus, and for what? For his legacy? Why had he thought writing his way out would work? Honestly, he was known for mind-blowingly bad mistakes.

Then he had walked back into his bedroom, crying, heartbroken, and with a pounding migraine. The bottle of painkillers had been _right there_ , and one thing led to another, and soon all he could remember was the thought of _‘my love, take your time.’_ as he passed out cold on his bed, Lafayette practically suffocating him in hugs when he woke back up, Aaron’s hand cracking across his face so quick he didn’t even see it, and then him breaking down and sobbing on the edge of his bed. Yet again, Alex never learned, and didn’t think about the pain his actions would cause before he did them.

“He’s not my boyfriend, John.” Alex responded after an uncomfortably long silence. John smirked and rolled his eyes before popping another Pringle into his mouth. “He’s not. We’re just...just-”

“Meeting up regularly to talk and flirt?” Hercules turned from his place as lookout at the interior window, making sure no nurse walked in on them with their enormous stash of snacks. “Yeah, you’re right, totally not dating.”

“Figuring it out.” Alex finished matter-of-factly, sticking his tongue out at him. “Hey! You’re supposed to be a lookout!” Alex threw a cheeto at him in mock anger, but Hercules caught it deftly in his hand and popped it in his mouth. 

It was true, their relationship was complicated at the moment. They definitely weren't dating again, but Aaron was much more closer to him than he had been before, he wasn't as distant. Alex didn't want to think about how it was probably the fact that Aaron thought he needed attention right now, that if he wasn't there, Alex might try to kill himself again. He didn’t want to believe that. Aaron didn’t kiss him, or tell him he loved him, but there were affectionate gestures made on his half. Like the teasing look in his eyes when he told Alex he was a hot mess, and the way he touched his face and tucked his hair behind his ear so lovingly. He wanted Aaron to kiss him, and to tell him he loved so much like he used to, and to call him beautiful and gorgeous like he used to. But Alex was determined to wait this time, to let Aaron control the pace for once, he wouldn't push him over the edge this time.

For once, Alex would try to learn. 

Alex _would_ learn

And he knew for a fact that would be enough.

 

Two days later, and they finally let Alex go back to the dorm. Aaron had come by after class, as usual, and Alex was practically bouncing with excitement. All of it seemed rather familiar to Aaron, the doctor strictly telling him to take care of him and not leave him alone for too long, which was a given, really. Alex stumbled as he got out of bed, seeing as he had only a few brief times to stretch in the last few days, and Aaron instinctively reached out to catch him in his arms, grinning awkwardly when Alex sent him a questioning look. 

It was reassuring to see Alex in his usual attire and standing, instead of being miserable in a hospital bed. Aaron had brought him a change of clothes, and he looked a lot better in his oversized sweater and blue jeans, his hair thrown up messily into a bun. Aaron couldn't help but stare, a small, appreciative smile gracing his face that made Alex flush like a lovestruck schoolgirl. 

It took them a few minutes to check out; Aaron had to schedule a checkup for Alex about three weeks later, so the doctor could see how he was doing. The receptionist even suggested a talk group for Alex to work through his problems with other people, but Alex grimaced at the idea. 

“Thank you, well think about it.” Aaron smiled politely.

“No we won't!” Alex called over his shoulder as he walked quickly away. Aaron gave her an apologetic glance before jogging to catch up with him. 

“She was just trying to help, Alex.”

“That's what everyone's trying to do.” He grumbled.

“Because we care about you.” Aaron said firmly, and Alex looked over at him, his shoulders sagging slightly in resignation. 

“I know.” Alex whispered looking down at the ground. His face picked up suddenly though, and he looked around them quickly before picking up his pace. “Quickly, let's get out of here.”

“What? Why?” Aaron looked around them like Alex had, but before he could see anything, Alex grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door. Alex didn't let go of his hand until they were all the way to the car, and he climbed in hastily. “What is your problem?” Aaron asked.

Instead of responding, Alex reached into his pullover hoodie pocket and pulled out countless pieces of candy, all from the bowl that had been sitting on the receptionists desk. The same candies they gave to little kids after they got shots.

“Oh my god.” Aaron stared at the candies that he was still pulling from his pocket. “Alex, you can't just-”

“Drive, Burr!” Alex looked out the window in mock panic, making Aaron laugh. “Step on it, you're harboring a fugitive!” 

Aaron rolled his eyes and smiled, pulling out of the parking lot a little too quickly.

“You're ridiculous, you know.”

“Yes I know, thanks for putting up with me.”

Aaron smiled to himself the entire way back to the dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL IM SO PUMPED FOR THIS JURASSIC WORLD AU  
> Also I have a rough draft for it right now and it's kinda like a oneshot, do you guys want it as a oneshot (it's gonna be a long ass one shot if you do) or like in short chapters???
> 
> And alSO feel free to send me prompts too! After this and the Jurassic World au and a couple other ideas I have I won't have a multi chaptered fic up for a while so please if you want suggest some oneshot ideas or even a fic idea
> 
> Love you all!! Thanks for reading and supporting!! <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUYSGUYSGUYS ITS HERE ITS FINALLY HERE IM SO HAPPY  
> BUT IM ALSO KINDA SAD CAUSE ITS ENDING BUT STILL ITS HERE YAY

Once again, they fell into an easy, comfortable rhythm and developed a new routine. 

They were much more comfortable and relaxed around each other, and as always, Alexander brings a life back into the dorm that Aaron had been missing so much. Aaron spent time with Alex more often, and even hung around for a couple movie nights with Alex’s friends. Everything was normal for the most part, Alex still did his best to drive Aaron insane, and Aaron did his best to drive Alex insane with his stress baking. Aaron's habits were getting so ridiculous that whenever Aaron even touched the mixing bowl, Alex would immediately leave the dorm. 

Aaron was in the library with Thomas and James, trying and failing miserably to focus on his schoolwork, but his mind kept drifting back to Alexander. Alex had been desperately trying to catch up on work he'd missed, and because of that Aaron never got to talk to him about where they stood with each other. Every time he tried to sit down with him, Alex would either be rushing out the door to a meeting with Washington or too caught up in his writing to fully listen. It was starting to tick him off a little bit, but Alex was a non-stop kind of person, so he didn't know why he was surprised. 

“Aaron!” 

Aaron looked up, and realized James and Thomas were staring at him suspiciously. 

“You're my best friend, but if you keep tapping your pen like that, I will have to murder you.” 

Aaron looked down at his hand, which he hadn't noticed had been rapidly thumping his pen into the table. He forced his hand to still, shooting an apologetic glance up at the two of them.

“Sorry. I don't know what's up with me lately.” Aaron rubbed a hand over his face, exhaling slowly. 

“Yeah, I could tell.” James looked him up and down, slightly concerned before turning back to his schoolwork. Aaron made a mental note that he owed the two of them a favor for putting up with him through all of this. When Alex was in the hospital, James had offered that Aaron stay with him and Thomas for a few nights, but Aaron politely refused. He didn't want to feel like a burden, and if he were being honest, he didn't want to intrude on whatever the hell it was they did in the privacy of their own dorm. 

The two of them even came to visit Alex in the hospital at one point, though Aaron figured it was more James’ idea than anything else. Even Thomas had tried to refrain from getting into fights with Alex, as James had told him. Everyone had been acting gentle with the two of them, and Aaron hated it, and he knew Alex hated it too. Even their professors had been acting strangely considerate. Funny how it took the worst things to bring out the best in people.

“ _Aaron_.” 

It was James again. He was staring at Aaron accusingly, looking more annoyed than concerned this time.

“Your _foot_.”

Aaron realized his foot was tapping a steady rhythm into the carpet, and he stopped instantly and dropped his pen.

“God, I'm sorry. I've been such a mess lately, I don't know why.” Aaron sighed. He knew damn well what was bothering him, but he still felt truly sorry that the two of them had to put up with his bullshit.

“Well, spending excessive amounts of time around Hamilton will do that to you.” Thomas said matter of factly, and James shot him a look.

“Has Hamilton been acting okay? Other than...you know.” James avoided the word, but the unsaid _‘suicide attempt’_ still hung in the air. 

“Yeah, I mean he's been doing okay. I forced him to go see one of the campus counselors, even though he's not too happy about that. It's just been complicated lately, I don't know where we stand, relationship-wise.”

“Well, has he said anything about it?”

“No. I actually think he's avoiding me.” Aaron turned his gaze towards the table. He'd never even thought about the possibility that Alex had been avoiding talking about where they stood together. He just thought it was because he was busy. He liked to think it was because he was busy. “He's probably just busy, though.”

“Mm hm, because who would want to avoid you?” Thomas drawled without looking up from his schoolwork. James punched him in the shoulder.

“Ignore him, he's an idiot.” James rolled his eyes and turned back to Aaron. “Look, Aaron. Chances are, Hamilton wants to get back together with you. And I can tell you want to get back with him.”

“God knows why.” Thomas muttered, and James turned on him, but it just made Aaron laugh softly. He was used to hearing the same old _‘you have horrible taste in men’_ from Thomas.

“Thomas, if you're not going to help, you can go.”

Thomas sighed, dropped his pen and turned towards Aaron, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Look, Burr, I will never know why, but you're in love with that asshole. You have been since the day you met him, anyone can see that. I know he doesn't deserve you, and I don't think he ever will, but you two were happy together, like, weirdly happy. If you want to get back together with him, that's your choice, and I'm not going to stop you.”

“Wow, Thomas. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.” 

“Don't get used to it.” Thomas turned away after a moment, picking up his pen and continuing to work. James turned back to him and shrugged, seemingly exhausted with his boyfriend. 

“Thomas is right, Aaron, but only if you're ready. We’re not saying you should jump right back into a full relationship, you don't have to do that. But just, go slow at first, take your time.”

Aaron nodded slowly, his eyes drifting down towards the table again. He was sure glad for the advice, even though it was slightly nerve racking to think of approaching Alex with a relationship proposal. 

“I can tell you have a lot to think about, so why don't you go back to the dorm and talk to your man.” James smiled kindly at him. “We can go out for lunch later if you want, to get your mind off of things.”

“That sounds great, thank you.” Aaron smiled back as he stood up and hastily packed up his things. “Really, I can't thank you enough.” 

“Consider it an apology.” James’ smile turned hesitant, and Aaron knew it was because he still hadn't forgiven himself for the whole _‘I-knew-your-boyfriend-was-cheating-and-didn't-say-anything’_ thing. 

“Do not bring Hamilton to lunch.” Thomas warned, quirking an eyebrow at Aaron as a challenge. James sighed and shook his head at him, rolling his eyes. 

“Thomas.”

“If you bring him I can't guarantee I won't punch him.” Thomas raised his hands innocently and shrugged. 

“Duly noted.” Aaron laughed before waving goodbye and walking out.

He was smiling all the way back to his dorm.

 

Aaron was about to stick his key in the lock when the door opened suddenly, and Alex ran out clutching a cup of coffee in his hand. The two collided in the doorway, and the coffee in Alexander's hand spilled all over Aaron's shirt. Alexander swore loudly, his hands coming up to cover his mouth.

“Shit, Burr, I am so sorry…”

“I take it you're in a hurry?” Aaron looked up at him with raised eyebrows as he stepped around him and into their dorm. Alex followed, closing the door behind them.

“Yeah, I'm supposed to be meeting the guys at the cafe, sorry I wasn't looking where I was going. Here...I'll get some paper towels.” Alex fumbled for a second before rushing into the kitchen and grabbing a couple rolls of paper towels. Aaron stared after him before dropping his bag and walking into his bedroom to grab a clean shirt.

_‘So much for talking.’_

“Um, would you want to maybe- oh!” Alex walked into his room at the exact second Aaron pulled his shirt off over his head. He turned around awkwardly, his face flushing. “Sorry, I didn't know you were, you know…”

“Alex, relax. It's nothing you haven't seen before.” Aaron rolled his eyes and walked over to grab the paper towels from him. Alex tried to keep his eyes from straying, and Aaron cocked his head to the side in mock confusion. “Were you saying something?”

“Yeah.” Alex swallowed thickly. “I...was wondering if you…” 

Aaron stepped closer, watching as Alex’s breath hitched.

“...would want to come…” Alex tore his gaze up into Aaron's eyes, and Aaron raised an eyebrow and leaned closer. 

“You want me to come?” 

Alex gaped. “No! N-not like- to the cafe!” Alex cleared his throat as Aaron laughed. “Would you like to come to the cafe with me?”

Aaron opened his mouth to answer but then Alex’s phone rang, and he fumbled before grabbing it from his back pocket. The caller ID read John Laurens.

“You should get that.” Aaron told him after a moment of ringing, and turned around, wiping the coffee off his chest and stomach. He thought he heard Alex huff angrily, but then he had answered his phone and stepped out of the room. Aaron grabbed a baseball tee from the closet and pulled it on over his head, throwing the wet paper towels into the garbage can. 

He walked out just as Alex hung the phone up, and Alex turned to him, looking much more relieved now that Aaron was fully clothed. 

“I'm heading out now, are you coming?”

Aaron was about to say yes, but then he remembered he was going to lunch with Thomas and James, and he couldn't deny his face falling slightly.

“Sadly, I can't. I’m going out to lunch with Thomas and James.”

“I see, turning me down for Jefferson, now, are you?”

Aaron laughed, and thankfully Alex did too. Aaron watched him throw his hair up into a messy bun and grab his dorm key off the counter, before turning and waving at him before opening the door and leaving. He stood there for a few minutes, thinking to himself, before shaking his head fondly, and going back into his room to grab a hoodie. He grabbed a hoodie from the closet, and pulled it off the hanger without looking. The hanger fell with a clatter when Aaron turned, but then there was a louder clatter that was definitely too loud to be just the hanger. Aaron sighed. He'd meant to get around to cleaning his closet eventually, but it had never really happened. He turned back around, ready to face whatever mess it was he had created, but found an entirely new problem staring back up at him.

_101 Reasons I Love Aaron Burr_

The chest stared back at him, lid hanging open, 100 little letters spilling out, seemingly asking him what he was going to do about it. How had it gotten there? Had Alex put it there? Aaron didn't remember where he had put it last, but he would have remembered it if he put it in the closet himself. He bent down near it slowly and cautiously, as if it was a threat that was going to leap up and bite him. 

He brushed his fingers lightly over the letters, debating whether to read them or put them back into the chest without a second thought. He started to place the letters back into the chest, but something taped to the inside of the lid caught his eyes.

_“That's the letter you're supposed to read if you've kicked me out for fucking up really badly.”_

Aaron stared at it, the memories slowly flooding back to him. Slipping a finger under the letter, he tore it from the tape and held it in his hands. He should just get up and go, go to lunch and take his mind off things with James and Thomas. But instead, he took a deep breath and began reading.

_My Dearest, Aaron_

There was a comma after Dearest. Was that supposed to be there, or it was it an accident? It wasn't like Alex to make a mistake when it came to writing.

_If you're reading this, that means something really bad has happened. Whether it be that I've passed on or you've simply kicked me out for doing something idiotic, something bad happened, and that's what this letter is for. No matter what's happened, I need you to know and remember one thing; I love you._

_I've loved you since the moment you bought me a coffee on the day we met, and I haven't stopped loving you ever since. Everyday I look at you and I can confidently swear on my life that I fall a little more deeper in love everytime I see you. Every time I look at you the whole world slows down for a moment, and nothing else seems to matter. Whenever I walk into the room that you're in, I am immediately drawn to you, you take my breath away. You are the very reason I get up everyday, and I'm sorry if I've never told you that._

_I've only ever wanted you to be happy, and it doesn't matter if it's with or without me. You deserve the best, and if I can't deliver that to you, than it simply wasn't meant to be. I am a man of many words, Aaron, but there are simply not enough words on the planet earth to tell you how much I care about you. I care about you too much to ever see you unhappy, so it is beyond important to me that you find someone who can leave you as breathless as you leave me. And if that someone happens to be me, I’ll be the luckiest man alive._

_I am a mess, you of all people have realized this, and through it all you have stuck with me, and for that I am forever grateful. Everyday you spend by my side you show just how much you care, and nothing I can ever do will ever amount to that, unfortunately. I'm not good at letting people into my life, and it's hard for me to show attachment, but you have changed the way I think about love. The way I feel about you is a way that I have never felt about anyone else, and that scares me. I have never loved anyone like I love you. I love you every second of every day, when you're angry at me and when you're broken and bleeding, I’ve still loved you through it all and I don't think I'll ever stop._

_If I've made a mistake, and that is the reason why you're reading this, then the purpose of this letter is not to have you forgive me. It is only to let you know how I truly feel, because I don't think I've ever said it aloud. It's not easy for me to tell people how I feel, yet you always seem to know what I'm feeling, and maybe that is why you've hung around so long. Never forget that I love you, Aaron, never forget that I chose you, not anyone else. Never forget that you **are** enough for me, that you **do** make me happy. I simply need you to know how much I care. That would be enough._

_Forever yours, A.Ham_

Aaron stared at the letter in his hand long and hard, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, joy and happiness swelling up in his chest and his throat, making it hard to breath. He held the letter tight to his chest, fighting back the urge to cry, and stared at the wall, smiling to himself. 

Alexander loved him. Aaron loved Alexander. Aaron was happy with him. Alexander was happy with Aaron.

Alexander was satisfied.

Alexander was _happy._

They could still be happy together.

There was still a chance.

Aaron leaped up from his seat on the floor, the letter fluttering from his hands. He stumbled, the blood rushing to his head and making him very faint. There was no time to be faint, dammit. He ran out of the bedroom, swinging himself into the hall by the doorframe, nearly falling to the ground and rushed out the door. 

He ran out at the same time James and Thomas were stepping out of the elevator, and they watched him, exchanging weird glances when Aaron swore at the closing doors of the elevator. 

“Aaron? Is everything okay?” James took a step towards him as Aaron frantically pressed the down button, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“No.” Was all he managed to gasp out.

“What's going on?”

Aaron dug his hand in his pocket for his car key. But nothing came up. He tried the other pocket, his back pockets, his hoodie pockets. Nothing. Dammit he'd forgotten the keys in his bag.

“I need your car.” He looked up at the two of them, and they looked at him weirdly.

“What?”

“Your car. I need it.” 

“Aaron, what's wrong? Where are you going?” James motioned Thomas to follow him as Aaron squeezed into the elevator when the doors weren't even halfway open. 

“I need to get to the cafe. Alexander's there, and I need to see him.” Aaron pressed the 1st floor button and waited anxiously, and watched as the numbers above the door started counting down from ten. 

10...

_“I think that decision’s up to your loving boyfriend. You did come home three hours late and with a black eye.”_

9…

_“Promise to sleep in with me tomorrow morning?”_

8…

_“I love you, Alexander.”_

7…

_“I'm gonna marry you one day.”_

6…

_“Smile more.”_

5…

_“And now I get to spend them with my favorite person.”_

4…

_“I'm always happy when I'm with you.”_

3…

_“Have I ever told you how great you are?”_

2…

_“No one treats my boyfriend like shit.”_

1...

_“Happy Anniversary.”_

The elevator reached the first floor after what seemed like hours with a satisfying thunk. The doors opened and Aaron had to keep himself from sprinting out. James and Thomas followed him out, and Aaron wasn't even halfway across when James grabbed his wrist. 

“Aaron, hold on. You're pretty worked up right now, I don't want you doing anything you'll regr-”

“I love him.”

James closed his mouth and stared at him, his eyes unreadable.

“Please, James, don't you know what that feels like?” Aaron's eyes flicked over James’ shoulder to Thomas, who was standing awkwardly a few feet behind them. When he looked back at James his eyes were pleading him to let go.

_‘Let me see him.’_

James sighed and let go of his wrist. “Alright. But there's no way I'm letting you drive.” He pulled his car keys from his pocket and looked back at Thomas, shrugging and motioning for him to follow. 

Thomas drove them to the cafe, with Aaron tapping his seat anxiously from the back. He was pretty sure that at any moment, Thomas was going to lose his patience with him. 

“Can't you go any faster?”

“Burr, if I go any faster I will be breaking the speed limit.”

“You're going 25 miles an hour.”

“We are in a school zone, we _have_ to go 25.”

Thankfully, Aaron got the warning look James threw at him, and shut up. 

When they finally got to the quad, which was where near the cafe, Aaron climbed out of the car as soon as Thomas stopped it. He made his way quickly through the quad, not waiting for James or Thomas and weaving his way through the mass of students. He got to the cafe and threw open the door, looking over the entire room, scanning the faces for Alex.

“Burr?”

That voice.

Aaron turned and saw Alex standing at the opposite end of the cafe, a coffee cup in hand. He immediately made his way towards him, his eyes never leaving his face. Alex set his coffee down at the table where his three friends were sitting, and raised an eyebrow at him, his eyes widening with every step closer Aaron took. 

“Burr, what-”

Aaron grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him close to press their mouths together, and _God_ , had he missed it. For a split second Alex stiffened under his hands, but then he practically melted and gripped the fabric of Aaron's shirt so roughly it rode up slightly. Aaron's hands made their way from the collar of his shirt to the back of his neck, tangling into his hair before moving to cup his face. 

Aaron's head was swimming, and his mind kept telling him to slow down, but he couldn't stop himself. He coaxed Alex's mouth open with his tongue, and they both couldn't hold back their groans when their tongues finally met. Alex’s hands slipped underneath Aaron's hoodie and under his shirt, his hands a cold contrast to the heat flaring under Aaron's skin. Aaron kissed him harder and deeper, their noses bumping and their lips molding together perfectly. It had been so long and all of this was so good, and Aaron didn't ever want to stop kissing him. That's when it hit him.

Aaron would never be satisfied.

At least not when it came to Alexander Hamilton.

He'd always need just one more kiss, he'd always need Alexander even closer, he'd always need one more I love you. Aaron would always need him. The thought made him smile and he laughed against Alex's lips before removing his hands from his face and hooking them underneath his legs, hoisting him up into the air. Alex's stubble was burning his own skin, and it made Aaron groan.

He felt Alex's lips curve into a smile against his own, and he wrapped his legs around Aaron's waist, his hands moving to frame his face. They both tried to kiss again, but soon they were just two idiots pressing their smiles together in a desperate attempt at a kiss. 

They only broke apart when someone at Alex's table cleared their throat. Aaron opened his eyes and glanced over Alex’s shoulder at his friend's, and they were all staring at the two of them expectantly. John raised his eyebrow at him, almost in an _‘are you gonna tap that?’_ kind of way, Lafayette grinned at the two of them, while Hercules was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his broad chest. 

“I read your letter. Your emergency one.” Aaron breathed out, catching Alexander's attention. His voice sounded low and hoarse, even to his own ears. Alexander smiled again and laughed softly. “It was a very nice letter.”

“I didn't think it would make you do this.” Alex opened his eyes into Aaron's, and he could see every speck of color in them, and it made him fall in love all over again. 

“I love you too.” Aaron said, making Alex’s eyes widen. “So much.”

Alex whimpered before taking Aaron's face between his hands again and slotting their mouths together. Aaron sighed into his mouth as they kissed with what was probably way too much tongue, but neither of them cared. 

“Well, I guess you two will be busy for a few hours.” Thomas drawled from behind them, and Alex pried his lips away from Aaron's to glare at him. Aaron reluctantly put Alex back down on the ground, and Alex made a noise of protest but seemed happy enough when Aaron took his hand and kissed it gently.

“I hope you don't mind me stealing Alexander away from you for a few hours.” Aaron turned to Alex's friends, silently daring any one of them to protest.

“Not at all.” John shook his head and grinned before shooting them away with his hand. “Get out of here you dorks.”

“Sorry to bail on you guys.” Aaron turned back to Thomas and James and smiled apologetically. 

“Don't worry about it. If you need to use our car to drive back you can.” James gave Aaron the keys and a knowing smile as Thomas looked at him with indignation and disbelief, and it made Alex chuckle softly. “I'll come pick it up later.”

“If you two have sex in my car I will murder you.” Thomas hissed at them, his eyes narrowing. Alex smirked before turning and pulling Aaron out of the cafe quickly, ignoring the looks they got from other students. Aaron led him to the car, holding his hand tightly as if he might try to leave. 

The entire car ride back to the dorm, Alex was pushing up Aaron's hoodie sleeve to kiss all over his arm, and at every red light, Aaron would lean over to kiss him until the car behind them honked loudly. Aaron pulled Alex into the lobby, stopping to kiss heatedly in the elevator and against the door of their dorm. 

Once finally in the privacy of their own dorm, Aaron lifted Alex up and carried him over to the couch, setting him down before climbing over him. Aaron kissed him deeply, his tongue flicking in and out of his mouth, obsessed with the taste of him.

“Aaron…” Alex managed to squeak out before Aaron's mouth covered his again and his words were replaced with a quiet groan. “Aaron I have to-...tell you something…”

“Right now?” 

“Yes, Aaron I-...” Alex lost all his breath when Aaron bit down on his lip. “Aaron, I-I'm so sorry.”

Aaron stilled for a moment and pulled away reluctantly, resting their foreheads together. 

“I know.”

“No, you don't. You don't know Aaron, but I'm so, _so_ sorry. For everything, for the way I treated you and the whole affair and just everything. You shouldn't love me, I'm so, so horrible Aaron, and you're way too good for me.”

“It doesn't matter.” Aaron whispered, and Alex raised his eyebrows. “You love me, don't you Alexander?”

“So much.”

“And I love you.” Aaron smiled and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. “That's all that matters. That's all that's ever going to matter. As long as we’re in love, and we’re both happy, everything will turn out just fine. I promise."

“After everything I've done to you…” Alex shook his head. “You still love me?”

Aaron nodded. “I don't think I'll ever stop.”

Alex sighed and leaned up to kiss him, and it was sweeter and slower than Aaron expected. He reciprocated quickly, pushing Alexander back down into the couch, and kissing him, slow, loving and deep, full of whispered _‘I love you’s’_ and apologies. Aaron took his time with it, letting himself go blind with adoration, shivering when Alex's hands came up to grip his hips, keeping him from leaving. Aaron smirked, he was so beyond leaving at his point. He didn't have to worry about Alex not being happy anymore, he didn't have to worry about how much time they had.

They had all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY DID IT THEYRE HAPPY ARENT YOU PROUD  
> I was originally going to end it here but I decided to add an Epilogue because I think we could all deal with a little more fluff


	19. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's here
> 
> Alex with black earrings is my new asthetic come fight me  
> It gets pretty steamy cause Aaron is a tease and Alex is horny a g a i n someone help him
> 
> I'm finally on spring break so hopefully I will be able to get more stuff out for you guys

“Are you sure you want to invite Jefferson to our wedding?”

Aaron turned and looked at Alexander, frowning at him. His fiancé was skimming his hand over the biographies on the second shelf, before turning and catching his eye.

“What? I'm just making sure.” 

“Alexander, for the last time,” Aaron rolled his eyes at him and returned his eyes to the shelf “James is going to be my best man, it would be ridiculous if we didn't invite his _husband_ too.”

“Well, I think it would be ridiculous to invite someone like Jefferson to our wedding.”

“We’re not talking about this again.”

“Okay, okay.” Alexander came up to stand behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on Aaron's shoulder. “I don't even think Jefferson can ruin it anyway.”

Aaron hummed in response and took Alex's hands in his, rubbing his thumbs along Alex's knuckles lovingly. Alex smiled and nuzzled his neck, making Aaron laugh and turn away bashfully. Alex kissed his neck sweetly before removing his arm and coming to stand next to Aaron, his eyes scanning the shelves of biographies. Aaron looked at him and sighed happily, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, revealing the pitch black earring he’d gotten last year. He’d gotten it after a fun drunken night with his friends, and Aaron had been pretty pissed when he came stumbling home with two thick black earrings. Alex himself had hated them at first, but he eventually grew to like the look, and even Aaron admitted to thinking they were pretty hot. 

“Think it's time you get a haircut, baby.”

Alex ran a hand through his hair, loosening his messy bun, before turning to him. 

“You think? I kind of like it.”

Aaron didn't respond, just kept staring at him. They'd been out of college for almost three years now, but they didn't look any older. Alex might have gotten a little taller, but that was about it. He still wore ridiculously oversized sweaters and stayed up until unbelievable hours of the morning. They still argued with each other like an old married couple, whether it be about Alexander nearly working himself to death or Aaron not taking a stand. He still had that fresh out of college glow about him. 

And he still drove Aaron crazy.

He still held onto Aaron for dear life as the slept, and he still kissed him awake every morning. He'd still come home after a stressful day and beg Aaron to hold him, and he'd still flirt with him and use ridiculous pick up lines, even though they weren't needed. He still moved gently and intimately with Aaron in bed, knowing that was just how Aaron liked it. He was still the same guy who broke Charles Lee’s nose for making fun of his boyfriend.

He was still the same kid who punched the bursar for looking at him like he was stupid.

But they were getting married in six months.

Alex caught him staring and raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing. Just admiring my fiancé and wondering how I got so lucky with him”

Alex nodded and turned away, mocking passiveness.

“Oh really? Tell me more about this fiancé of yours.”

Aaron smirked at him before reaching out and wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Well, he's ridiculously smart for starters.” Aaron rubbed his thumb along Alex's hip as he hummed in response. “And stunningly gorgeous.” Aaron placed a kiss to Alex's jaw and Alex chuckled and turned his head. “And…” Aaron bit the skin under his jaw gently, taking note of the way Alex’s breath hitched, before trailing his mouth up so his lips were just brushing Alex’s ear. “He is _amazing_ in bed.”

Alex shivered noticeably, his face flushing. Aaron kissed his way down the back of Alex's neck, occasionally biting gently at the skin. Alex breathed out slowly in reply, and Aaron could tell he was fighting back the urge to moan. After another minute of continuous kissing from Aaron, Alex laughed breathily and leaned into him.

“Bet he's nothing compared to my fiancé.”

Aaron growled at him, looked in both directions, before spinning Alex around and kissing him desperately. Aaron wasn't usually that big on PDA but they were in the back corner of the bookstore, deserted by other customers. 

Alex kissed him back just as desperately, and Aaron let him win back some of his dignity by controlling the tempo of the kiss. He let Alex bite and lick his way into Aaron's mouth hungrily. He let Alex's hands snake down his chest and stomach before slipping into the waistband of his jeans and tug fruitlessly. He let him grind his hips into Aaron's in an attempt to show some dominance and control. 

Alex pulled back to breath, his mouth agape, before he turned to tug Aaron in the direction of the entrance. Aaron resisted, and Alex looked back at him, confused.

“Come on, I want to go home.” Alex tugged his arm again, and Aaron could tell he wanted it bad. But he wasn't ready to give in just yet. 

“Not yet. I haven't picked out a book.” 

Alex's confusion quickly turned to irritation.

“Seriously?”

“Yes. I'm not leaving until I have a book.”  
Alex grumbled before coming to stand beside Aaron. He grabbed a book from off the shelf and handed it to him.

“What about this one.”

“Why this one?”

“I don't know, it looks good.”

“Alexander, this one’s on the life of the first secretary of treasury.”

“He seems like a cool dude.” Alex replied glancing down at the cover. He looked back up at him and Aaron raised an eyebrow. “What? He could be a total badass, Burr, you'll never know until you read it.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and smiled. “Fine.” 

Alex smiled and grabbed his hand, and together they walked to the front of the store. As Aaron handed the book to the woman behind the counter Alex turned to him.

“Hey, did I tell you that I got a job offer last week?”

“No?” Aaron turned to him as he took the plastic bag from the cashier. “Where did they refer you to?”

Alex was currently working as a journalist for the New York Post, which was amazing in itself, but ever since then his boss had preceded to look for other places for him to work. Either because Alex was starting to many fights with other reporters, or he was too good for the job and needed something better. He was also working independently on historical fiction writing in his free time, but he couldn't find an editor for his writing that wouldn't ‘massacre’ his work, so it was starting off at a slow start.

Aaron had read some of it, and of course it was good, great even, but Alex also had an affinity for making the founding fathers a little less straighter than textbooks often depicted them. Alex shrugged as if it was nothing.

“Time magazine.”

Aaron turned around to look at him, his mouth hanging open.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Alex smiled, almost nervously, his eyes flicking up to meet Aaron's, “I was gonna tell you, I just-”

“Alexander, that's amazing!” Aaron took his hand and used it as leverage to pull him into his arms. “This is good, this is really good.” Aaron rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head lovingly. “I'm so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Alex smiled sheepishly before letting Aaron lead him from the store, “I’m totally going to accept it, and I'll probably start off as an intern, but maybe if I pull a few strings I might be able to start as a junior journalist-”

“Starting as an intern is fine too, you know.” Aaron glanced at him over his shoulder, just long enough to see Alex shrug. “You'll make your way to the top quickly enough. Starting slow is okay.”

“I know, I know. I just can't help wanting more, you know how I am.”

Aaron hummed in response and pulled Alex in closer, throwing his arm around his shoulder. 

“Trust me Alexander, I know _all_ about you wanting more.” Aaron leaned down to whisper in his ear and Alex snorted and looked away. “Baby, why do you get so shy whenever I tease you?”

Alex shook his head and turned away again, so Aaron took things into his own hands. He leaned down to bite the side of Alex's neck, making him flinch. He ran his tongue over the indents his teeth left in Alex's skin, and Alex let out a breathy sigh.

“Do you still want to go home?” Aaron whispered to him as they reached their car. Aaron opened the car door and purposefully moved Alex in front of him, so he was crowding him against the car as he placed the bag in the backseat, casually letting their hips brush. Alex nodded frantically against his chest, making Aaron chuckle.

“Take me home, Aaron.” He whispered back and Aaron smiled at the use of the word home. Their home. Aaron placed a kiss to his cheek before leaving him to get in the driver's seat. As he was buckling himself in, he looked up at Alex, who was staring at him with an adoring look in his eyes.

“What is it?”

“I love you.” Alex said after a minute of silence.

“I would hope so. We are getting married after all.” 

“Aaron, I’m serious.” Alex reached over and grabbed one of Aaron's hands, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it gently. “I love you, so much. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

Aaron opened his mouth to say how much he loved him too, but then Alex's mouth was covering his, and Aaron was helpless. Alexander kissed him sweetly and slowly, and Aaron's hands came up to cup his face. Alex placed a hand on the center console and pushed himself forward, crowding Aaron against the seat. He slipped his tongue past Aaron's lips and into his mouth, and Aaron groaned at the sensation of Alex's hot, wet mouth moving against his own. 

“Alexander…” Aaron pulled back to tell him he loved him, but Alex chased his lips and captured his mouth again. Alex’s hand was fumbling with his belt buckle, trying to get it undone so he could be closer to Aaron, and he was leaning all his weight on his other hand and-

Alex’s hand slipped suddenly off the center console and straight into Aaron's crotch.

Aaron flinched away like he was burned as a sound escaped him that was somewhere between a yelp and a high pitched moan. His hands came up to cover his mouth as soon as the noise escaped, and his face flushed in embarrassment. Alex stared up at him, his own face flushed crimson as he removed the hand quickly. 

“S-sorry. I didn't mean to-...that was an accident, um, I-”

“Let's go home.” Aaron cut him off as he started the car, the desire to have Alexander stripped and on their bed overpowering any other judgement. 

“Yes.” Alex responded a little too quickly, as if he could sense what Aaron was thinking. He cleared his throat and turned forward in his seat. “Yeah, let's go.”

Throughout the entire ride home Aaron found his eyes slipping over to gaze at his fiancé, most of the time finding Alexander staring back at him heavily. During a red light, Aaron looked over at him pointedly, taking his eyes up and down his figure. _God_ , did he love him. He reached over to thread his fingers into Alex’s hair, gently tugging to get the bun out. He let the dark hair fall into Alex's face, who pushed it back quickly, his lips parted as he stared up at him.

Aaron let his hand trail down Alex's side, stopping to slip under his hoodie and rub the skin of his stomach. Alex breathed out slowly and closed his eyes, his face flushing again as he looked down. Aaron slid his hand down his stomach and slipped it into to waistband of Alex’s jeans, letting his thumb rub over the button teasingly. Alex's hand flew to grip at the door handle, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he shifted in his seat. Aaron watched his face as he popped the button on his jeans and slowly unzipped the zipper. 

Alex moaned as Aaron started to massage the skin of his hips, his stomach twitching and his hand clutching at the door. Alex's hand moved to grip Aaron's and he opened his eyes, his pupils blown. He guided Aaron's hand lower and into his pants, his lips parted and his chest heaving.

“Touch me.” He breathed out so quietly Aaron barely heard it, but he understood it and it got his heart racing all the same. Before they got anywhere though, the car behind them honked and Aaron looked up to find that the light had turned green. Aaron removed his hand and Alex whined, moving his own hands to cover his face. 

“Sorry baby, you're just going to have to wait.”

“I always have to wait.”

“Patience is a great virtue, darling.”

“Whatever. Talk about a cockblock.”

Aaron laughed and moved one of his hands to take Alex's, and he rubbed his thumb across the back of it lovingly, feeling the comforting weight of Alex’s engagement ring beneath his fingers. 

“Hey Aaron?”

“Hm?”

“I'm really glad you went out to get coffee before class that one morning.”

Aaron glanced over at him and furrowed his brow.

“What morning?”

“The morning we met.”

Aaron smiled at the memory. After all these years he hadn't forgotten any detail about it. It was a warm, late summer morning and Aaron had decided on a whim that he would go out to get coffee before his first class. On his way there some scrawny ass freshman drowning in an oversized gray hoodie had grabbed his arm and asked him if he was Aaron Burr. And _dammit_ that freshman had a very nice face. From the moment he saw him, Aaron was in love. And Aaron wasn't the type to swoon at the first look at a cute guy, so this was a pretty big deal. 

Aaron remembered every single thing that had happened to them in their relationship. The time he'd walked into his dorm and found that same scrawny ass freshman as his roommate. The first time that scrawny ass freshman had kissed him in the cafe in front of everyone and didn't pull away for a full twenty-six seconds. The first time he'd gotten that scrawny ass freshman stripped naked and in his bed. The first time that scrawny ass freshman had told him he loved him. The time that scrawny ass freshman tried to kill himself. The time that scrawny ass freshman wrote him _101 letters_ saying why he loved Aaron. The time that scrawny ass freshman had left a hole in their apartment wall after punching it in a fit of tearful drunken anger. The time that scrawny ass freshman had woken Aaron up at fucking three am just to make sure they were still dating. The time that scrawny ass freshmen had come home drunk with his ears pierced. 

The time that scrawny ass freshman dropped to his knee in front of an entire party and asked Aaron to marry him.

He couldn't wait for the moment when that same scrawny ass freshmen kissed him at the altar.

Aaron smiled.

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so much you have no idea how much this story meant to me  
> It started out as just me staying up at 3 am writing shitty oneshots to please my needs and it ended up like this  
> This first work was so well received and it surprised the fuck out of me and I just want to thank you all sooo much I love you more than you realize <3333
> 
> Updates on the Jurassic World AU:  
> I decided I'm going to do short chapters because it would just be easier than trying to fit the entire movie in a single oneshot (im not trying to sound pissy it's just going to be super long and I seriously don't think it will fit in the limit ao3 gives lmao)  
> It's gonna be pretty straightforward w/ the movie, sticking with the plot and sometimes including direct quotes (just to move the story along) but will eventually branch out into more of a shippy hamburr feel and also include things not in the movie to set up characters build tension etc.  
> Also I'm including Aaron's Uncle as Masrani in it so it helps build Aaron's flustered/trying to run his family's park/stressed out character and also I might've made Aaron's Uncle too much of an ass??? I haven't decided if I'm gonna kill him like the movie killed Masrani but we'll see   
> Charles Lee takes the place as Hoskins, John and Peggy are taking the place of Lowrey and Vivian etc etc
> 
> Haven't decided when I will start the uploads but be on the lookout!!! I've got more oneshots coming (including one suggested by one of you guys ;)) and a couple other ideas for multi chartered fics

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are much appreciated, stick around to see where my writing takes these two dorks


End file.
